Always Be My Baby!

I picked up a handful of sand and stared into the sunset that rested on the top of the ocean. Just thinking after 3 months of nothing but him. Will I ever get over the fact that I still love him? I thought to myself. Does he still love me? I wondered. I looked at my watch, 6:47 PM. I dropped the handful of sand and got up from the ground. I wiped myself off and started to walk back to my car. I opened the door and climbed in and just sat there in the seat. I rested my head on the steering wheel and drifted away into the lost times I had. I finally lifted up my head and started my car. "You girls out there will never guess who is back in Orlando," the DJ on the radio said. Before the radio said anymore I turned the station to find something else and found Lauren Hill's Ex-factor and drove off. ~~~~~~~~At my house: I drove into the garage and got out of my car. I opened the door and headed for my room. I looked into the living room and saw nothing. It looked like no one was here. I went into my bathroom and started the shower. I let the hot run down my body and let my thoughts take me away again. I got out of the shower and pulled on my robe. The door bursts opened and there stood, him. "You cannot believed how much I missed you," he said in the most passionate voice. I looked towards him and he grabbed me and pulled me up to the counter and started to rub my thighs. He wouldn't kiss me for some reason, but who cares. He was here, with me. I got closer to him and he drew further away from me as if I did something wrong. Then he disappeared and I found myself looking into the mirror again. "GOD DAMMIT!" I yelled and punched the door as I walked into my room. I climbed into bed and cried. "Will this ever fuckin end?" I cried. Just then the phone rings, "Hello?" "Athena? It's me Lynn. Are you okay? Are you still feeling sick?" "Yeah, a little. What do ya need?" "The guys are in the hospital." "What?" "They were on their way to my house and some drunken bastard ran a red light and collided into them." Tears silently ran down my cheeks. "Are they okay?" "I think you should come down here." The whole conversation was a blur and I hung up the phone and just sat there. I opened my dresser drawer and pulled out a velvet box and opened it. I pulled out the ring and held it in my hand. "I'll fear the day we'll ever part, but still, you'll always have my heart," I repeated a verse from the poem Justin had said to me the day he gave me the ring. I slipped it on my right ring finger. The tears in my eyes couldn't contain themselves any longer and exploded. The tears were even worse the day I broke up with Justin. "Athena? Athena?" I heard from behind my door. My bedroom door bursts opens and my best friend (since Justin), Francesca, is standing in the door frame. Behind her was Corey and Kim. They knew that I knew. "You heard, huh?" Kim asked with sadness in her voice. I shook my head in agreement. I couldn't talk or knowing more tears will just proceed to come out. Francesca walks up to me and sat next me on the bed. She looks at me and sees the ring on my finger. I started to say something and she puts her finger to my mouth, "Shh. You don't have to say anything. Just get dress so we can go to the hospital." I shook my head and pulled out track shorts and a Nike shirt. Pulled my hair in a ponytail and slipped on my shoes and we were put the door. We found a parking spot and got out of the car. My head sank into my shoulders as we walked into the main entrance. We walked into the elevator and Natasha (whom is Chris's g/f and she was already at the hospital) pushed 5 and we headed for the fifth floor. ~~Bing~~ The sliding doors opened and we walked out. We walked further into the corridor and we saw Lynn hunched over in a chair. She looked up when she saw me stand before her. "Oh, Athena. I'm so glad you're here." I squatted down to her. Her face was as pale as if she saw a ghost. I placed my hands on top of her cold, clammy hands. She gave me a faint smile. "They put Justin in ICU He is in a deep coma and they don't know if he will come out or not," she choked while saying it, "he has third degree burns on his left arm and about 100 stitches above his right eye. I think you should go talk to him. It could help. Go to the eighth floor and ask for Dr. Westfall." I let go of her hands and headed back for the elevator, while Francesca followed me to the elevator. "Are you gonna be okay, girl?" she said before the doors shut. I nodded my headed and gave her a faint smile, then the doors shut. ~~Bing~~ The doors opened and I walked out. I walked up to the receptionist's desk and said, "I'm looking for a Dr. Westfall?" "I'm Dr. Westfall." I turned around and stared at a young, somewhat tall, stringy blonde hair girl, who was desperately needed of some sleep from her pale blue bagging eyes. "You're Athena, I presume?" I nodded my head. "Follow me, please?" She lead me into a hall into ICU 5, Justin's room. "I'll leave you alone." "Thank you," I managed to get out. She turned around and smiled at me and shut the door. I just stood there before his bed. He looked so peaceful, I just the way he sleeps. He looks like a little boy, all he needed is a stuffed animal and to suck his thumb, I thought. I managed a little laugh. I sat down in the chair next to the window that looked over parts of Orlando. Clouds were now covering the sky and rain started to fall silently. What can I do? I thought. I don't know what to do in these kind of situations. I brought my knees up to my chest and cried. I sat there for a good 20 minutes. I finally got enough courage to pull the chair next to Justin's right side. I grabbed his hand and fitted it into mine. His hands were so warm, he could warm my whole body up with only his hands. I finally said, "You remember the time, before you guys left for Europe the first time and you sang to me at the airport in front of everyone? Hoping it will make me feel better? I remember it like it was yesterday. I love it when you sing to me. I feel so good. You always knew how to make things all better for me. You knew exactly what to do and no one else did, like you did. Sing to me now, Justin. Wake up so I can hear your voice," I started to squeeze his hand, "DAMMIT JUSTIN! Wake up, for me. Please. I cannot lose you, Justin. You have no idea how important you are to me." Tears fell down my cheeks slowly. "I don't know if you ever will realize this but, I love you, Justin, and I always will." I let go of his hand and walked back to the window. The tears I tried to hold in couldn't hold anymore. The started to fall and fall, and I let out sobs. "I love you too, Athena." "Athena? Athena, open the door," Francesca pleaded through the other side of the door. "Athena, come on. I'm sorr-" "Damn right you should be sorry," I said opening the door and walking past her. "You said you love him didn't you?" "Yeah, as a best friend. Loving someone with intimate feelings and someone with best friend feelings is totally different." I pulled on a small white tank top and pulled on some stonewashed shorts. "And besides, I still can't get over the fact of what happen-" "Will you please, Athena, get the fuck over with? It's done! What's done is done and cannot and I do repeat cannot be undone. So stop living in the past and start looking around at what's in front you!" She ran out of my room and slammed my door. I raised from the bed and ran after her. "FRANCESCA!!" She was outside by the pool. "HOW CAN YOU TELL ME TO FORGET THE PAST?!?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE FUCK I WENT THROUGH!? NO! YOU HAVE NO FUCKIN CLUE. SO DON'T TELL ME TO GET OUT OF THE PAST AND LOOK AT WHAT'S IN FRONT OF ME, CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? THE PAST IS WHAT'S IN FRONT OF ME. SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD, NO ONE WILL HAVE SUCH THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP YOU AND JOEY HAVE OKAY?!? NO ONE IS AS PERFECT AS YOU ARE OK?!?" Francesca turned around and started to walk towards me and she slapped me. "HOW DARE YOU CRITICIZE MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JOEY?!?" "YOU CALL THAT CRITICIZING? OHH, I HAVEN'T GOTTEN THERE YET, DEAR!!" After those words were spoken Francesca was in the shallow end of the pool. I walked back into the house grabbed my keys and left. ~~~~~~~ One week later (Wednesday) : Well, Francesca and I are still not talking. She spends most of her time at Joey's, nurturing his every need. Justin did get out the hospital and is currently staying at his mother's house. "God, this house will never be clean," I said aloud. RING!! ~Phone conversation~ Me: Hello? The other end: hi, how are you? Me: who's this? The other end: me, Kim. Me: oh, hey Kim. What's up? Kim: Francesca told me to tell you that, she's coming to get her stuff. She's moving out. Me: What? Kim: She told me she couldn't handle it anymore Me: Handle what anymore? (tears started to swell up in my eyes) Kim: She didn't tell me. She just said that she couldn't take it anymore, so she's moving in with Joey. She said she'd be there with Joey, and the rest of the guys around, 4 or so (current time, 2:21 PM) Me: Ok, fine, Thanx. Kim: I'm sorry, Athena. Me: No, don't be sorry it okay. I gotta go. Kim: Ya gonna be okay? Me: Yeah, I'll be fine Kim: Ok, bye Me: bye (I said in a whisper and hung up the phone) CLICK! "Athena, you dumb bitch!! What have you done?" I just stood there in silence not knowing what to do. What have I done, I thought to myself? I can't let her see me like this. She'll know that her whole guilt trip plan is working. I ran out of the living room and into my bathroom. "Look at yourself, Athena. You look like shit," I said to myself. I had on some rip track shorts on with an old white t shirt with holes all over. My face was really greasy from all the sweat and heat. I tore off my clothes and climbed into the shower. I washed myself quickly and did all the other things girls do in the shower (i.e., shave legs, wash hair, wash face, etc.) I got out of the shower and pulled on my towel like robe. I walked into my room and blasted the radio. "How does it feel. Tell me how does it feel to treat me like you do..." Orgy blasting from the stereo. I pulled out some dark blue underwear and matching bra and pulled them on. I went back into the bathroom and rubbed apple scented lotion all over my body and did the other stuff while in the bathroom, ( i.e., deodorant, brush teeth, etc.) I walked back out of the bathroom and pulled on a long blue and green gypsy skirt with a light blue tank top with a pair of tan Maya sandals. I went back into the bathroom and curled my dry hair and pulled it back in a messy bun with chopstick pins. I looked at my clock resting on the nightstand next to my bed and it said, 3:39 PM. "They should be anytime soon. I hafta talk to Fran. I can't bear to loose a great friend like her," I said a loud. I went back into the bathroom and did my make up and walked back out into the hall way into the kitchen to grab something to eat. I opened the refrigerator and looked through it. I grabbed a Dr. Pepper and shut the door. I went through the pantry cabinet and grabbed some salt and vinegar pringles, then walked back into the living room. I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. I immediately turned it to NBC seeing if Days of Our Lives was on. Nope. Then I went through the movie channels and found Ever After on Starz 2. I sat there and watch the movie and ate my chips and drank my soda. Then I heard the door open and laughter. I didn't bother to turn around to see who it was, I just kept watching the movie. 'Well, hi Athena," I heard someone behind me. I still didn't turn around. I looked and saw Joey come around the couch and sit next to me. He threw one of his goofy faces at me and I couldn't help but laugh. "Hi, Joey," I finally said, "where's Fran?" "I don't know. I think she went to her room." I got up from the couch and walked towards to corridor in the living room and bumped into Justin. "Oh, hey. Sorry," I said. "Nah, it's okay," he said. I started to walk away but he grabbed my hand and said, "Can we talk, Athena?" "I really need to talk to Fran," I said pulling my arm back and walking towards Fran's room. I stood in front of the door and finally opened it. I stood in the doorway looking at her back. I finally got the nerve and said, "Fran? We need to talk." Fran turned around and stared at me. "Yeah we do, Athena. Come in." I walked into her room and stood a few feet away from her. "You don't have stand so far away." "I was afraid you were gonna slap me again," I said and started to walk closer to her and sitting next her on her king size bed. I brought my legs up and sat Indian style. Francesca finally broke the silence, "Look, Thena. I'm sorry for slapping you. It wasn't right." "No, you had every right to hit me, with the way I was acting and all. I was a total bitch and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for pushing you in the pool too." Fran put a smile on her face and handed me a picture. "You remember the time, me, you, Joey and Justin flew to Rocky Point. Oh, god, that was so much fun. The tequila shots and mudslides, god those were so good." "Shut up, you're making me jealous," I said with a sense of humor. I stared at the picture, it was me and Justin. We were in the water with me on his shoulders... ~~ FLASHBACK~~ "Get on my shoulders, Athena," Justin said rubbing his nose against mine. "Why?" I said looking into his eyes. "I don't know just cause." "OK, fine," I got on his shoulders and saw Joey and Fran come into the water with their waterproof camera in hand. "You guys up for a game of Chicken?" Joey challenged. "You're on!" I said. Fran got on Joey's shoulders and we started to play. After minutes of pushing and pushing, finally we got Joey and Fran in the water. "Oh, yeah! Who is tha bomb? HUH?!" I yelled with my hands in the air. I bent over and kissed Justin on the lips, then Fran took a picture of us kissing. ~~~ END OF FLASHBACK ~~~ "Athena?" I sat there and gazed at the picture. "ATHENA!?!?!" "Huh? What?" I said with a confused look. "Welcome back to earth, how was your trip at Justin Planet?" "What are you talking about?" "You were only staring at that picture for only 5 minutes." "Oh, sorry." "Look, Athena. I'm not the person to tell you how to run your life. But I'm only going to say this once out of love and friendship, tell him." "I know, I know. I am putting this off and I just don't know what to do," I said putting my face in my hands. "Athena, don't do this do yourself. You're just making things worse as they are." "I know, can we talk about something else? Are you still gonna move out?" "Now why would do that? I thought about it and told Kim to tell you, but when she told me how you reacted. I couldn't leave." "So you're not going to leave." "No, I'm not gonna leave. I love you girl!!" "I love you too," I hugged my best friend and rest assured we were best friends again. Now the only thing I had to worry about was Justin. I pulled out of the hug and said, "C'mon, let's go the living room with the guys." We got up from the bed and opened the door, and down fell all guys all on top of each other. "What the hell do you guys think you were doing?" "I told them not to do it, but they made me do it," Chris said all innocent. "I highly doubt that," Natasha said walking down the hall way. The guys got up and walked back into the living room. I sat back down and grabbed my soda and chips with the remote. I noticed the guys had changed the channel to the sports channel. I turned back to Ever After. "Hey, we were watching that!" JC said "Hey, I was watching this!" I said back. "Hey why don't we go to the movies tonight?" "And see what?" "How about Carrie 2? I really wanna see that movie!" I pleaded. "You and your horror movies, Athena," Lance says. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with a good scare," I said with a smile. "UUGGHH!! These are gross, Athena. How can you eat these chips? What kind are the-? Owww...salt and vinegar!! Yuck!!" Chris whined. "I'm sorry," I said, trying not to laugh at Chris's expression. I grabbed the chips and popped one into my mouth. "So are we going to the movies?" Justin asked. "Yeah, we are," Joey said and went to look for the phone book. We sat in the living room for over a half and hour debating on what movie to see. "Well, I vote on, Forces of Nature," Joey said, just wanting to see Sandra Bullock. "Well, I wanna see Carrie 2 and plus Forces of Nature doesn't come out till next week, dummy!" I said. "Well, if we don't make a decision, then let's decide on something else," Justin suggested. "Fine," Joey pouted. "How about we all split up and do our own thing?" Justin suggested again. "I'd really like to see Carrie 2 and since Athena is the only one who wants to see it, besides myself then me and her will go," he finished. I just stared at him the whole time, while he got into his idea and the way he used his hands to talk, just got me thinking. "OK," I agreed. We all settled an agreement that, Justin and I would go to the movies and everyone else would do whatever they wanted to do. When everyone left I walked into my room to refresh my make up. "Why do you have to do that?" I heard Justin say, sitting on my bed. "I dunno, just cause. It's a girl thing," I said feeling kinda jittery for some reason. I walked out of the bathroom (connected to my bedroom) and into my room. I grabbed my bag and walked towards the door. "You're gonna need a jacket," Justin said while putting his on, "it's pretty cold outside." I stood there for a moment and said, "Who needs a jacket, when I could use you?" I said with a smirk and opened the front door. Once I opened the door, the cold breeze hit me, immediately forming goosebumps across my chest and arms. I didn't want to get my jacket, knowing Justin would tease me telling me he was right. I just walked out of the door, then locked it and walked towards Justin's Mercedes. He unlocked the passenger side door and held it open and stuck his hand out for guidance. "After you my lady," he said in an English accent. "Thank you," I said grabbing his hand, feeling the warmth in his hand spread throughout my whole body. I climbed into the car and got comfortable. He shut the door and walked to the driver side. He started the car and pulled out of the driveway. ~~~~~On the road: "So, how have you been?" Justin finally spoke after a moments silence. "Fine, I had my ups and downs but otherwise I'm fine," I answered. "What kind of ups and downs?" He got the nerve to ask. I just looked at him and he remembered what the downs were. "Sorry," he said, "I try to forget that and when I do, it's kinda hard to remember." I stared at him for a minute and then stared back onto the road. "Let's stop at a Walgreen's and get some food for the movie?" I said. "Why? They have food at the theater," he answered. "Yeah, if you wanna buy a large popcorn for 6 or 7 bucks. C'mon," I started to whine, "there's one right there." I pointed. He looked at me, which gave me chills down my spine when I looked at those precious baby blues. "Fine," he said turning into the parking lot and looked for a spot. I climbed out of the car and walked towards the store. It was still pretty cold outside and crossed my arms, just to give Justin a signal I was cold. "Cold, huh?" He asked walking next to me. "Just a little," I said with a smile. He took off his jacket and handed it to me. "No, I don't want it. I didn't bring one, so I will suffer." He still wouldn't give up. Finally he said, putting his jacket in his hand, "If you don't take the jacket, I'll embarrass you in the store." I just looked at him and we walked into the sliding doors. I shook my head and he looked at me. He's not going to embarrass me, I thought. I know he won't. Then all of a sudden, He started to gallop like a horse in the store, pulling my hand to make me come with him. I yanked my hand out of his grip, turned beat red. I burst into laughter and walked into the snack aisle. I walked through the aisle, looking for sunflower seeds. The only flavor I found was original (yuck!). Then I felt someone's arm go across my lower back and I looked to the side and saw Justin. He smiled at me and held up a bag of salsa sunflower seeds. "Ah, just what I was looking for," I said grabbing for the bag and he pulled it up higher. "Take my jacket." "What?!?" I said, he's not giving this up. "Take my jacket," he handed me his black leather jacket (like the one from the Disney parade). I took it and put it on. It smells so good. Something like Polo, but damn this jacket smells good. I put my hands up in surrender and said, "Happy? Now gimme my seeds!" I grabbed them and walked further into the aisle. We left the store, spending over twenty dollars on junk food. We got back into the car and drove to the theater. ~~~~~~At the theater: "I can't believe you were able to stuff all that shit into your bag," he said looking amazed. I just looked at him and then he grabbed my hand. I gave him a look and he said, "Oh, sorry," looking disappointed, but he still didn't let go of my hand. I gave him a smile, telling him it was OK (which it was) and scooted closer to him. We were less than 2 or 3 inches away from each other. "I'm surprised no one noticed you yet," I said looking towards the ticket booth. "Shut up or you'll jinx me!" He said worried. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from the teenyboppers," I said in a manly voice. He laughed and walked up to the booth. "Two adults for Carrie 2," he said pulling out his wallet and searching for money. The girl in the booth didn't look up, but when she did. I wish she didn't. "OMG! Do you know who you are?!" The girl practically screamed. "I would think, so. My name is on my driver's license," he said. I just looked at him, seeing if he could get out of this. The girl's face turned red and she called out for her friends. "COULD WE PLEASE JUST GET OUR TICKETS?!" I said getting very annoyed. I put my hand on the counter and Justin rested his on mine. The girls in the booth gave me a nasty look. I just rolled my eyes in return. "Yeah sure," the girl said getting snotty, "that'll be 15 even, please." Justin handed her the money and she handed the tickets to us and I grabbed Justin's hand and walked through the entrance. The girls kept staring at me through the booth, giving me nasty glares and snickering. I just laughed and proceeded through the building. We walked to the designated screening room and found ourselves all the way in the back and in the middle. We sat there for and minute and other people started to walk in, not noticing who was in the same room with them. Which was a relief. I bent over and grabbed some gummi bears out of my bag. When I ripped the bag open, some girls turned around and noticed who I was with. "Oh great. Someone else just noticed who you were," I said, "ya know. You being this famous, gets kinda ann-" "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! It's him!! It's Justin from N Sync. OMG!!!!!!!" Girls started to come from the left and right of the aisle towards us. I just looked at the screen as it started to show previews. I had my hand in the arm rest and felt something warm come onto my hand. I looked and saw Justin's face turned away from me, signing a napkin for a girl. When the girl looked at me and saw that Justin had his hand on me, she asked, "Are you two together?" Justin looked at me and I looked at him. "YES!" I blurted out. Why the fuck did you say that, Athena, I thought to myself. Justin just looked at me with a surprised look on his face. The girl just looked at me and walked away. Finally after all the girls left, the movie was about to start. "Why did you say that?" Justin asked. "Say what?" I answered taking a sipping through the straw of my snapple. "You know what I'm talking about. Why did you tell that girl we were together?" "I thought she would go away if I said that," I said not even looking at him. I could feel his eyes burning into my skull. I still didn't look at him. We stayed quiet through part of the movie and then I could have sworn I heard Justin say with Jeremy London, "I love you." I looked at him through the corner of my eye and noticed he wasn't looking at me. Maybe it was my mind, I thought. I continued watching the movie. Finally when the movie was over, we walked out of the room, not hand in hand, not arm and arm, but apart. I saw girls glaring at me as if I was a piece of trash on the ground. I just glared back at them and walked away. When we got the exit doors, girls started to scream again. Running towards us like a damn stampede. Justin grabbed my hand and pulled me out the doors and started to run towards his car. My shoe fell off and I ran back to grab. Then I felt someone lift me up and Justin pulled me over his shoulder and proceeded to run to the car. He opened the driver side door, still me over his shoulder and placed me in the driver seat and I scooted over and he got in as fast as he could. He started the car and drove off as fast as he could. ~~~~~~~~In the car: We were quiet for a moment and then I broke the silence with a burst of laughter. Justin looked at me and gave me a look. "What's so funny?" He asked. I stopped laughing and looked at him and started to laugh again. "OKAY!" Justin said and started to laugh too. We continued laughing until we reached a stop light. "Let's go somewhere?" I said looking at him. "Like where? It's already what? 10:30." "SO! C'mon, it's too early to go home." "Ok, fine. As long as I get to pick the place," he persuaded. "Ok, let's go." We drove for a while and finally came to a stop at a somewhat dark place. I figured it was the ocean, because I heard the waves clash against each other. Justin got out of the car and walked to my side and opened the door. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the car. We walked down towards the beach and I sat on the sand and pulled off my sandals. Justin sat next to me, but not too close. I looked at him and noticed he was shivering. "Cold?" I asked. "Just a little," he said warping his arms around himself. I got up from the ground. "Where you going?" Justin asked. "I'll be right back," I said walking towards the car. I opened the back trunk door and grabbed a blanket. I took off the jacket and shut the door and walked back to Justin. Where was he I thought? I looked around and still no Justin. I wrapped the blanket around my shoulders and walked around. Still, there was no Justin. "AAAAAHH!!" Someone picked me up and out from behind me and started to turn in circles. I looked and saw Justin with a big smile on his face. "Justin, put me down," I said trying to get down but he wouldn't let go. I didn't want him to let go either. Being in his arms, makes me feel so safe and secure. If I could, I would never want him to let go. He finally put me down and we stood very close. I could feel his hot breath flow down my chest, giving me chills. I took the blanket wrapped around my shoulders and wrapped the blanket around Justin's shoulders as well. So, both of us were in the blanket together. I rested head on his hard chest and said, "Hold me, Justin. Just hold me, please." Without complaint, he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tight. I looked up at him and noticed him staring at me. I couldn't help but stare back and feel the intensity we were both feeling. I wrapped my arms around his neck and proceeded to closer and closer to him....