Chapter 61 This chapter is long! let it load up! Click here for the Britney tells all article. Click here to see tour pictures. Click here to download "Gone."
October 23, 2002 (same day)
Rain discharged down the car. "And, Justin. We are waiting at this grocery store because?"
He strained his neck as he gazed at the grocery store exit. "Because I want to make sure she gets to her car safely."
He simpered. "Oh, yeah. You really DON'T miss her! And don't break your neck trying to look out of the window."
Justin's eyes shot at him circumscribed in size. "Shut up, Mike. I've been with her for the last year and a half, of course I "miss" her. But thats it. I don't want her back. There is a difference between the two that you don't seem to get."
He stared at him from the drivers mirror. "You never paid for that lollipop, Justin."
He shrugged. "I forgot. Next time I go into this store I'll remit a great tip." He pointed out of the window from the back seat of the car. "There she is."
"You are lucky the windows are tinted in this car. I'll tell ya. I don't see how you followed her around in the store, and didn't get caught."
He never approached his eyes from Kim. "I'm slick like that. Thats all you need to know."
"I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! My day has been horrible. BUT NOW THIS? Its raining? I watched the weather channel this morning, it didn't say anything about rain. And I have Jade with me while it's pouring like this?" She shook her head. "God, help me. I guess I am being punished."
"What is she doing?" Mike asked, squinting his eyes for a better understanding with vision.
"She's taking her shirt off.” Justin informed. “See...she has a little spaghetti-strapped shirt underneath. She’s using the shirt to cover Jade with. Awww, thats way sad. And she has groceries.” He slapped Mike on the shoulder to tell him something. “Hey, Mike. Drive up there and give her a ride to her car. She’s parked all the way down there. She’s going to be so soaked. I feel so sorry for her and Jade, stuck in the rain.”
“That is very sad, but face reality, Justin. What am I suppose to say? This is not Justin in the car with me? He’s just a look alike?”
He smacked his lips. “Come on now. You don’t have to do all of that. I’ll just hide.”
“Okay. You don’t have to say it. It was just a suggestion. I just don’t want Jade sick or anything.”
Mike’s eyes followed the direction Kim moved. “Even if I was to make the offer. It’s too late now. A car just let her pass. She’s already across the street.”
Both Justin and Mike orbited their heads in the opposite viewpoint they were looking.
“Damn.” Mike muttered. “She stepped right into a huge puddle. Man, thats messed up. What a sucky day for her.”
“Yeah.” He whispered biting his nails.
“Justin, stop biting your nails. You barely have any fingernails left, because you are always biting them.”
He made a hand motion to give him something. “You have some candy or something? I got a manicure while I was in New York too. The nail people says it makes your nails look better. I don’t give a shit about that. I just eat the nail stuff off.”
He winced. “There are some things you just don’t share with people, Justin. Thats one of those things.”
He managed to laugh. “Okay. Give me some candy!”
“Anything!” Mike threw a half eaten pack to him. “Thank you, Mike.”
He started the car up. “You’re welcome. Kim, Just drove off. I guess we go now, right?”
He tore the unsought paper around the remaining candy. “Yeah. Before you take me to the hotel you are suppose to get me a pizza from that new pizza place. You know...Kim was harassed in the store. This dude grabbed her. And she told him to get off, but he wouldn't. I don't care who you are. If a girl says no one time, that should be all. Kim shouldn't have to tell someone several times to leave her alone. I remembered his face. So if I see him, I'm going to knock him out. And then she said every time that she goes into the store it happens. EVERY TIME? She never told me this. I'm going to start going to the store more often with her and protect her."
"What for? You're not together."
"Oh, yeah. I was, you know...giving an example."
“Alright, Justin. I got your pizza.” He jumped at him playfully. “Now let me get you out of here and back to your hotel. Because I want to go home and go back to sleep.” He began to laugh.
Justin held the door of the pizza restaurant open for him. “Ladies first...hah!”
As soon as they exited the restaurant Kim pulled into a near parking space of the restaurant. “HOLY SHIT! AGAIN?” Mike pushed Justin to the side of the building where he couldn’t be seen. “Justin hide. We have ran into Kim, yet again. I swear to God you both think alike. It’s like you read each others minds.”
“M...Mike?” Kim called, removing the carrier detachment from Jade’s car seat. “Mike, is that you?”
He turned to face her. “Hi, Kim. Look who I ran into today.” He laughed hesitantly.
“Mike, it’s so good to see you.” She jogged over to him holding Jade's carrier.
When he got an up close look on her face he felt like crying. “It’s good...great to see you too.”
“What are you doing on this side of town?”
He shrugged. “Oh, I just wanted a pizza from here. I come here all the time.” He lied.
She studied the pizza. “Thats all you eat? No offense, but Justin could eat a whole medium pizza by himself.”
He patted his stomach. “I’m trying to go on a diet.”
She giggled. “Why? You are a nice size.”
“I don’t know. Haha."
She looked down at the ground. “I’ve never eaten here before. But I’m not cooking tonight, and this is the closest place to eat on the way going home. Is the pizza good here?”
“I don’t know that either.”
“But you said you eat here all the time.”
“I did say that, didn’t I? Good. The food here is good. Very good.”
She smiled at Jade, but the smile faded from her thoughts. “Mike, if you see Justin around, would you please tell him that I lo...that I said hi.” She said regretfully. “Tell him I said hi.”
He looked away from her face because it was horrible and painful to look at. “I’ll tell him.” He whispered.
“He hates me. I know he does.” She blurted. Her eyes were waxy and large. A cold stare was reflecting from them.
“He doesn’t hate you, Kim. I don’t think he could ever hate you.”
She nodded and began to go into the store before she was to loudly cry. “He does.” She remembered something she had to ask Mike and returned to her beginning position. “Mike do I look...bad? Everywhere I go everyone is telling me how terrible I look. I didn’t think I looked that bad. But I’m getting embarrassed because everyone keeps telling me how ugly I look, and how I look like I’ve just been dumped. Do I look that bad?” She asked in innocents.
Yes, she looked that bad. Even her hair stood out awkwardly. “Kim...you are so beautiful. You just look like you are going through hard times.”
She licked her lips.” Maybe I should put some gloss on or brush my hair?” She reached into her bag to get the Jolly Rancher flavored gloss she owned.
“No...what you need is...” He put one arm out, and held the pizza with one hand. He gave her a hug.
She squeezed him tight. “Thank you, Mike.” She sniffled and slipped her sunglasses back on. “Jade and I are watching The Little Mermaid tonight...alone. Are you doing anything tonight? I’m getting lonely. When Justin isn't around I realize I have no friends.” She frowned.
"Yes, you do have friends."
She shook her head. "I know people, and guys like me for my body. But I don't have many friends. Justin was my best-friend. He stared at me really hard, when I talked to him. He made me feel so special. Like, I was worth something. Without him I feel like nothing."
Mike didn't want to hear anymore. As large as he was, he was getting emotional. It was merely the way she looked. "Awwww! Please don't talk like that around me. And I wish I could hang out with you, Kim. Since you are so lonely, but...I’m taking a lady friend out.”
The smile was horrid. The nightmare-like smile. It was the kind of smile and dead person would wear. It was fake and painfully sad.
“Okay, I understand. Have fun on your date. I better be going. I have to get Jade home.”
He bit his lip and smiled at the baby. “Bye, Jade. And bye, Kim. Cheer up, okay? And get dry. I can see you got wet.”
She giggled through her tears again and picked up Jades carrier. “It started raining while I was getting groceries, and then it stopped as soon as I got into the car. What a bad day. Bye, Mike. I’ll see you later!” She stepped into the restaurant.
Mike stanched Justin from the corner to make a quick getaway. “Get in the car. HURRY, MAN! Before she turns around!”
He hopped into the car and ducked. “This sucks. I don’t want to run into Kim anymore. It’s breaking my heart. I mean, even if I don’t want her, I would feel sorry for anyone talking and walking like her. She is like freaking out. I feel sorry for her and bad, but I still don't want her.”
Mike just shook his head in a pestered manner.
"I don't like it. Being in the middle of it. Or being around it."
"What are you talking about, Mike?" He asked, with his arms muddily open.
He perpetrated from the parking lot as he spoke. "I'm talking about you and Kim. I don't know. I'm starting to get pissed off." He dispensed the pizza to Justin. Who had occupied the back seat of the car. "I don't understand why you won't stop acting stupid and get together. It's just stupid."
Justin's eyes displayed at the pizza box. "Mike, did they give you plates?"
"Yeah. They are under the box, duh! Justin, did you hear a word I said?"
"My bad. I knew they were under the box. And yeah I heard you." He confiscated a piece of pizza from the box and set it on a sturdy paper plate. He took a stable bite.
"Okay. So, what do you have to say?" He gleamed. "What is up with you and Kim? Ya'll better stop playing around and make up. Why aren't you back together? What's the deal?"
"Jade is so cute." He mutated the subject.
"Yeah. She is cute. You still didn't answer my question." He sniffed. "That smells good. Let me have a piece of the pizza."
He laughed. "Okay. Would you like pepperoni, pepperoni or pepperoni?"
Mike visualized for a second. "Umm...sausage."
"Ahahahaha. Here, Mike." He handed him a plate with a slice of pizza on it.
He accepted it and paid close attention to the road as he ate and drove. "SO WHY AREN'T YOU AND KIM GETTING BACK TOGETHER!"
He outbreathed blaringly. "I was trying to AVOID the subject of Kim. Because I'm sick of her being mentioned. But since you insist on talking about her. Kim wants to get back with me, but I don't with her. She called me this morning and I told her to stop calling me. I don't want to talk to her. And I want nothing to do with her. Relationship wise. And I'm not mad at her because of us not being together. I'm mad from what she did to me while I was freaking out. I had time to think about what really happened and now I'm angry. And the REASON we are NOT together is because of her! No lie. SHE is the reason we broke up! She started it. She kissed JC and then she told me she wouldn't marry me 'right now'. Well I told her I can't marry her not ever! She is a bitch. She is the biggest bitch I ever met. But I loved her too."
Mike started behind him. "What do you mean "loved"? Do you still love her."
He sank his teeth into the tasty pizza and then nodded. "I still love her." He said after swallowing. "But there is a block that stops me from loving her like I used to. The love cuts off a certain point. I could never stop loving her, I don't think. Something is special about her. You just have to keep loving her."
"And you seriously don't want her back?"
His eyes glowered with infuriation. "NO! I said NO! Didn't you hear what I said? Kim is a bitch.! She has some MAJOR problems. She's a bitch thats the only word to describe her. A goddess-looking bitch."
"Hey. You wouldn't say she is a bitch to her face."
"I know I won't. I'm not trying to be mean about it, Mike. It's true. Define bitch."
His shoulder raised. "It's a girl dog."
"No, I'm talking about the definition of it in today's society. She is cruel. She is mean. She is a abusive. She is enchanting." He laughed. "All of the bitch-like things. She never treated me right. She has never really showed me how much she loved me. And she told me that she didn't think I was cute. Oh, thats a reeeeeeeeal nice thing to say. That hurt my feelings. She's mean. She is SO mean to me ALL of the time! What did I do? I'd say she is fine and I'd get slapped. Stop talking about my body. Yada, yada, yada..."
"What else, Justin? Just let it all out. Give me your side of the story..."
He took one glance of his pizza and put it down in his plate to explain. "Fine. She goes on and on and on. All you care about is my body. All you care about is my looks. Blah blah blah! She won't shut up about it. What the hell am I suppose to say? Look. When I first met Kim she didn't dress like she does now. She dressed like in kaki shorts with her shirts tucked in and shit. But mostly she wore things that covered her body, because she was abused. I fell in love with HER not her body! And then she moved in with me she was still pretty much dressing the same. I don't know what happened this year. She is naturally perfect. But her style now makes her a thousands times even more sexy. She's a model now so I understand that. But why is she always getting onto me for complimenting her? She needs to cover her self up then. Because if I see what I see I'm gonna say something. For God's sake, Kim. Put some fucking clothes on. She wakes up in underwear or nothing. And will walk around the house like that. She cooks in her underwear. But check this out. She yelled at me really bad and slapped me one time for this. Okay. I was cutting onion, I can't remember why. And Kim was in the kitchen, and I didn't really notice what she was wearing. But when I did notice..." He whistled. "DAAAAAAMN!" He held his hand up. "Till this day that was the hottest I ever saw her. I don't know why. Something about her that day just drives me crazy. For the last year hip huggers have been in. But Kim didn't really have any, so I got her some. She had on these white hip huggers. They were tight. Like rubber waist. So, they were nice and flat. She just looked so smooth. And then her body is so solid. She had on a push up bra, which she doesn't need and then a "V" cut hoodie, and she expects me to keep my mouth shut? She doesn't need bras, and was wearing a push up. Come one now. And she slapped me for saying she had nice...never mind. Anyways. The point of the story is. She was the hottest I ever saw her. I don't know. I just lost it. It's so hard to describe. I went into cardiac arrest. Someone needed to revive me God damn."
"AHAHAHAHAHA! Cardiac arrest. I never heard that one before."
He laughed. "It's true. I was about to die." He removed his button down shirt, which was open, and laid it across his lap as he patted it. "Look, Mike."
He revolved back. "HHAHAHAHA! Justin, you have major issues."
"I have to keep everything under control. God, she is so hot." He shuddered. "I can't stop thinking about her that day...drives me crazy." He took a deep breath. "She is so hot. And cute!"
"So, you do want her back."
He ingested another bit of pizza. "NO! I was just saying she looked good. Alright?"
He seized at a light. "Why were you in the store looking for her magazines then?"
"Phishhhhhhh. I just like the pictures she take. She's a model. She's eye candy. It doesn't mean that I want her back. I'm just a fan of hers."
"It's interesting to hear you vent, Justin. Don't you feel better?"
"Yeah. And another thing." He began, focusing the pizza back into the plate. "She said when I'm mad, that I treat her like shit." He paused. "She treats me like shit all of the time. When I get mad, I do admit to being mean, but still. What about all of the good I do? I'm proud of myself for treating her so well. She is SO hard to please and don't even know it. She was my pride and joy and I'd do anything for her. Oh, I don't do that I'm not that type of girl. Hell, I'm not the type of guy either. But for her I make exceptions. I did things to her and for her that I said I would never do. And Kim is hypnotizing like that. I TREAT HER WELL! VERY WELL! And she doesn't give a shit about me. She never gets me anything or says sweet things to me. She just treats me like scum, man."
"Doesn't she cook for you? And didn't she like buy you some jeans you wanted so bad or something? You told me about that."
He smacked his lips. "Things like that don't count. She can't even treat me like a human being. I had a fucking PANIC ATTACK! She didn't care. I was BLUE! I WAS GASPING! What did she do? Nothing. I'm going to call 911. What a bitch! And She is a hoe for kissing JC like that."
Mike shook his head. "Justin, you keep going back to the kissing JC thing. What she did with JC was not as bad as what you did with Charrah. And I know you are mad because of the panic attack. But do you realize you were having the attack because you were upset over her being upset with you? I mean, even if you had an attack it doesn't make what you did right. Just like if a robber robbed a bank and then had a heart attack. What happened is sad, but it doesn't make what the robber did right."
He pointed at him. His eyes were ignited with anger. "Shut up, Mike. You have NO idea what you are talking about. You weren't there. You only know what you heard."
"So you think what you did with Charrah was okay? And that it was a right thing to do?"
"Yes, I do." He said proudly. "Because she kissed JC. And kissing Charrah made her hurt. Just like I hurt. And she cried and she was jealous. I see no wrong in what I did. I was thinking about her anyway. Please, Charrah couldn't turn me on if she was naked and covered in whipped cream. I didn't want HER, I wanted Kim. I just wanted payback for her kissing JC. Besides, it was my dare. And I thought what I did was wrong at first, but then. BUT THEN! She ended the marriage. Whatever. I knew she wasn't serious. She was just talking shit. But I wanted her to tell me she would marry me. I had a panic attack, she was still saying no. Therefore I want nothing to do with her ass. And don't question me Mike. Because it goes all the way back to her kissing JC. You don't understand. Kim was like a piece of art. She was my signature piece in a woman. She was very important and personal to me. With all of my serious girlfriends Veronica, Tonya and Britney, Kim was the most personal. In her own way, she's so innocent. I was her first French kiss, she lost her virginity to me, and I was her first love. I mean, I was the first person to put my tongue in her mouth. Yes, it sounds gross, but just think about it. How many girls today haven't had a tongue in their mouth. Girls my age? Not many. And as beautiful as Kim is I was her first. I was the first guy to touch her. She gave me the honor of taking her virginity. I cherish these things soooo much. She had my baby. She's just so special to me. And when I am with her I don't care. I want to be selfish. I want her all to myself. Nothing for anyone else. Not even the smallest kiss during a game. Because she's MINE! My baby that I love so much. Well, she ruined that love when she kissed JC! And now we are apart. Too bad! EVIL BITCH! It's ALL her fault!"
Mike thought to himself. "Justin. I'm going to ask you something. Lets say you and Kim were together."
"She and JC were going at it. He's between her legs all turned on, and they are making out heavily. Her hands are in his shirt, roaming over his chest, what would you do?"
Justin was blind to the point Mike was making. He laughed. "What would I do? First, I would beat the shit out of JC! I'D BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM FOR THAT! And I would break up with Kim for that. No hesitation. There is no excuse. If she was on him like that I would leave her that hour. And not even look back."
Mike, bit his lip. "Justin, don't you know that what I just told you is what you did with Charrah. And you said that you would leave Kim for that. She didn't leave you. She just said she would, knowing she wouldn't."
He went to speak, but his throat died. He cleared it several times and stuttered. "N...no! NO! It's not the same thing. IT'S NOT THE SAME THING! IT'S NOT! SHE MESSED UP DAMMIT!"
"Justin, I think you are just a brat, who is in denial, and is angry because you got your way. You hear that? YOU ARE ANGRY BECAUSE YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANT, WHICH IS NOT WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED! Once you get over the fact that you may have messed up. And I know Kim has too. But you need to get with yourself and admit that you have messed up. You are not the angel in the situation."
"I WILL NOT HAVE YOU MAKING ME THE BAD GUY! IT'S KIM'S FAULT! YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU! FUCK KIM! FUCK JOHNNY! FUCK ALL OF YOU! PEOPLE! YOU PEOPLE SUCK!"
He laughed. "Awwwww! Your are having a temper tantrum. And you are how old? Twenty-one?"
He rearranged the pepperonis on his pizza. "Whatever, Mike. I don't CARE what you say! Just drive, you fucking idiot."
He laughed harder. "You are mad because I told you the truth and now you know it's true too. You don't want to face it, so you are angry. You should calm down, Justin. Because if you keep talking I will pull over and kick your ass."
"You won't do shit. I dare you to pull over."
Mike pulled over and jumped out of the car.
Justin switched places with the pizza and put it before him. He scrunched his body up as far as he could. Mike pried the door open. "Get out of the car, Justin." He was grinning because he was just kidding, and picking on him.
"Looks like I am going to have to reach in there and get you." He dove at him.
"Mike, I'm sorry. Please don't kick my ass. Please."
He grabbed him and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. "Thats for sticking that lollipop in my mouth. Awww, you are just sooo cute. Like a little five year old. AWWWWW"
Justin sucked in his lips, and looked like he was about to cry.
Mike didn't mean to laugh at him, but he couldn't help it. "Ahahahaha. Damn, boy. Look at the look on your face. You look like you are ready to kill some one. I better not sleep tonight. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHA!"
"It's not funny, Mike."
October 24, 2002 (next day)
"Are you sure he is going to be there, Calia?"
"Yes, I'm positive. Griffin said that he wasn't going to be able to make the rehearsals. Justin will be there. So at five, go to the studio and get your man."
"Yes, girl. I am determined to get him back. And thank you SO much for telling me where he is going to be. Thank you so much for being so supportive."
"You are welcome. All of the girls are scared of you. Bobbi and them. They are scared. They think that you are mad at them, as you are Charrah."
She skened her eyes. "What? I'm not mad at THEM! But Charrah. She is another story. I think she is just as guilty as Justin for what happened, because she could have stopped him. We won't even get into that, now will we?"
She laughed. "No, we wont. You sound better, Kim. Thats good."
"Yeah, well. I'm feeling a little better. Just a little, not much. I've still been crying like crazy. I can't stop."
"You poor thing. Have you heard from Justin at all?"
"No, he told me not to call him, so I won't. I'm not going to bother him unless I see him in person, which I am tonight. I am willing to do anything to get Justin back. I am going to tell him how I feel. I'm going to be honest and I'm going to try to win his heart back. I don't know though. I think he hates me..."
"He doesn't hate you, Kim."
"At least I know he won't physically. I need to be getting off of the phone soon, because I'm going to get my hair done. I'm going to find a racy outfit to wear. I want to catch his attention when he sees me."
"Woo! You go, girl!
"Oh, and girl. I might need you to watch Jade for me when I go to see Justin. My usual babysitter is out of town. She's going to be back tonight, but late at night, and I need someone to watch Jade. I cannot take her with me. Something my go wrong when I see him."
Performance studio 5:47 PM
Her body was ill with nervousness as she strived through the halls of the unfamiliar studio. So far the entire survey of her was getting good results. What she wanted to do with her look was wear something she would never wear in public. She was destine to get Justin's attention.
The men she passed twisted around and froze at the sight of her.
She interpolated into a room labeled 'Studio 11'. A surge of freight swam through her body as she saw all of the guys of Nsync dancing on an monumental stage. It was towering in size. She gulped loudly and made her way closer to the stage. No one even noticed that she had entered the room.
"GOOD! GOOD!" Wade called as he scrutinized and studied the tough choreography.
When Kim got to the distance of a front row seat, she stopped. She decided that she would not disturb the performance and she would make her presences known after the song was over.
Wade clapped. "Very good. Very good. Okay. We got that out of the way. Next the intro has to be rehearsed. I mean, ya'll seem to be having problems with it."
Kim approached the stage. "Excuse me! Hi, guys." She waved. "Hi, Justin." She looked at him. He didn't even budge to see her.
"OH MY FUCKING..." Chris turned to Joey. "Hey, man. Please tell me that is NOT Kim! I'm in Candy Land having a dream, right?"
He shivered. "God, yes it's her."
"Hi, Kim." All the guy said, including Wade, but not Justin. She look as physically flawless and attractive as her small figure could get. On he waist were the lowest cut pants made. Her pants could not be cut any lower. Her shirt was a white and tight tank top, which was revealing and cut lowly. The shirt was a custom made piece that had her name scribbled across the front of it. Her body, mainly her stomach, was decorated with Rhinestones and blue beads, to match the bleach washed effect of her jeans. Her hair was trimmed and half of it was professionally put up in a ponytail. Her face was natural, and the only trace of make up on it was the blue eyeliner the tip of her eyelids held. Her lips were saturated with gloss. And were so lustrous and shimmery, they appeared to have a clear and plastic coating on them. She was radiating with sex-appeal that no women in the world could contain except her.
"Holy..." JC began. "Okay. It doesn't make any sense. I swear to God. She's not human."
"I hate, Justin." Lance blurted. "I need Kim, NOT him." Him and JC laughed.
"WOW! She's very beautiful. The hell with that. She's freakin' HOT!" Justin had distanced himself from the rest of the guys, so Wade whispered to the remaining four men. "I heard in some magazine article that Justin broke up with Kim at like some coffee shop. It's a huge rumor going around about that."
JC laughed. "I wish he would do something like that. Justin and Kim would never break up. NEVER! We know them. They have been through the worst shit, but they have the weirdest love and they would never break up. Never. And the coffee shop thing is just a rumor. Rumors are always going around about them. They could be fighting though, because I think he's ignoring her. Justin is so stupid at times."
"Well, okay. I didn't want to say anything about the break up rumor because I didn't want to start anything, but I'm happy for him if he has him a girl like that. Look at her lips. I just have the urge to kiss her." Wade stated, in shock. "Oh, my God."
Joey punched Wade to get his attention. "If you give her a hug. She'd kiss you on the cheek." He immediately ran to the side of the stage she was. "Hey, Kim. Need a hand? Would you like to come on the stage?"
She presented her hand out. "That would be great. Thank you so much, Joey."
He lifted her to the stage and engulfed her with his arms. "Aww, is so good to see you."
She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You too." A line had formed for more hugs and kisses from her, but she donated her attention to Justin, who had snatched her arm.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? LEAVE NOW! SO YOU SHOWED UP? GET OUT OF HERE, KIM!"
She abducted her arm back. "I came to see you, Justin. You see. I...I...I...I...God, Kim. Spit it out. Justin, I want you to come back home."
He threw his microphone off and only walked away, towards the backstage area, to his personal room. "I knew she would show up. And no one wants her ass here."
"Justin, wait!" She called, trying to convince him to turn around. "JUSTIN! WAIT!" She shut her eyes. "Justin, I love you. And...and I'm sorry. I’m so sorry.” She succeeded after him.
Lance turned to JC. “Wait a sec...didn’t you just see Kim’s crack? Like the crack of her ass? Okay, I’m going to have a heart attack in approximately five seconds.”
“I can’t take it anymore.” JC exclaimed. “Forget that. I am going to marry Kim. I’m going to ask her. And if she says no, I’m going to kidnap her and force her to elope with me. Anyone got a ring?”...
“Justin, please talk to me.” She got him to stop in front of his room door. “Justin, please. We have to stop this now. And I’m willing to stop it. We have to quit fighting and solve things. The wedding is a little more than a week away. That day when you were sick I should have ended the madness by telling you that I’d marry you. Will you please forgive me for my wrong doing? Can we work something out? Because I am miserable without you, Justin. I just can’t go on.”
He was flaming. “Let me get this straight. You want a relationship with me again? Hmmmm. Well I have two words for you, Kim. NO, BITCH!” He laughed. “I don’t want you. Are you kidding me? I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE! AND I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! You are walking around here showing cleavage.” He yanked at her top, and then spun her around. “And you got your ass hanging out of your pants. You expect me to be attracted to you? You look like the hoe you are.” He pushed her to the side. “NOW GET AWAY FROM ME! AND STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU EVIL AND ABUSIVE BITCH!” He removed his cell phone from the pocket of his sweatpants. “Mike, where are you? You were suppose to be guarding me during rehearsals. Kim is here and you need to get security to take her away. No, I don’t care what you say. Do you job, and have security come get her.”
“What?” She retained a hand to her glooming face. “What?” She cried. “Justin...I didn’t know it would lead to this. Why can’t you just understand that I’m sorry? Why’d you have to call security on me?”
“Why do you have to be a hoe? You look like shit. You aren’t all that good looking either. Just like you said about me.”
“I’m not a hoe. The only person I’ve ever been with was you. And I cannot believe you just said that to me. That hurts, Justin. I am not a hoe!
He rolled his eyes. “YEAH, RIGHT! And on top of being a hoe you are a huge BITCH! Don’t get all up set and mad because I don’t want to be with you anymore. Dealing with you is like ending my life. You aren't worth my time anymore. You aren’t worth my life anymore.”
She sniffled and her mouth hung open in shock. “Thats how you feel about me?” She dimly wiped her tears away. “I’m sorry for what I did. That is all I can say. And I know I hurt you, but I don’t deserve all of the things you are saying to me.” She saw that security was coming and it made her lips quiver. “And I’m not a bitch. I’m just a girl that needs a little help. So don’t call me that again.”
“Ma’am, we are going to have to ask you to leave.” A guard said.
Kim saw Mike in the distance. “Okay.” She whispered. The male put his hand on her back to lead her out.
“Yes, you are a bitch too.”
She had tried, but even her outfit failed as an attempt to get him back. She tried to be civil and proper with him, but he experimented with her emotions during their conflict. He had even grown enough bravery to call her a bitch to her face. He thought that she would leave without a fight? “Yeah, I got your bitch, JUSTIN!” She swung around and punched him right on the side of his face, and since she had struck him she continued to go at him. She grabbed him by his afro, which was now free of braids.
The guys had entered the hall to see what the ruckus was about. The security team had Justin and Kim circled. All except Mike, who refused to get involved.
“That will teach to you call me a bitch. I’ll be a fucking bitch, Justin.” She ripped at his long curls.
“Let him go ma’am. Or we will be forced to restrain you. Let him go at once.” A man told her.
“I will not let him go. After all the shit he just call me.” The security captured her, she kicked at Justin as they drug her to the other side of the wall and held her arms behind her back. “OW! Okay. Okay. I’m leaving.”
“We will call the authorities if we cannot get you to cooperate and leave.” They eased off of her.
She whipped her body away. “Get away from me. I’m goin’.” Her eyes glowered at Justin. “FINE, JUSTIN! YOU BROKE UP WITH ME! I KNEW YOU WOULD DO THIS! I DIDN’T JUST COME HERE BECAUSE I WANTED TO SUCK UP TO YOUR SORRY ASS! I CAME BACK FOR JADE! YOU ABANDONED...” She paused when a guard pulled on her arm, she glared at where his hand was for a few seconds. “YOU ABANDONED US! YOUR OWN FAMILY! HOW COULD YOU, JUSTIN? YOU PROMISED ME THAT YOU’D PROTECT ME, AND THAT YOU WOULD BE MY FRIEND EVEN IF WE DIDN’T WORK OUT IN THE END! YOU SAID NO MATTER WHAT! AND YOU LIED! WHAT ABOUT JADE, JUSTIN? SHE LOVES YOU SO MUCH! AND YOU JUST DITCHED HER LIKE A BAD HABIT! WHAT KIND OF FATHER ARE YOU? YEAH, JUSTIN! YOU ARE SOME MAN! SOME MANNNNNNN!” She waved at Mike, who was leaning against the wall. “Hi, Mike! Don’t worry, I know Justin called you to get these dudes on me. I’m not mad at ya.”
“Thank you for understanding, Kim.”
“HEY! Will you get off me? SERIOUSLY! I’m not going to do anything to him, okay? I’m through with him.” The security reposed from her again. Giving her freedom to walk privately. “Dang. How much can a one-hundred and thirteen pound person do? I’m not gonna do a Matrix jump and kill him. Although I should.”
“I told you she is crazy.” Justin mumbled.
“YEAH, JUSTIN! YOU MAKE ME CRAZY!” She arrested walking and turned around. “HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO JADE? HOW COULD YOU EVEN STAND THERE AS A MAN WHEN YOU WALKED OUT ON YOUR DAUGHTER? AND YOU KNOW WHAT, JUSTIN?”
“I AM DONE WITH THIS SHIT! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE, BUT I DO KNOW THAT I’M MOVING ON! BECAUSE ANYMORE OF THE SHIT AND I’LL GO INSANEEEE! I’LL GO INSANEEEEEEE! I’LL GO INSANEEEEEEEEE!” She shouted frantically and rabidly. She reached in her bag, which has been silently across her shoulder, and drew her cell phone from it. She launched the cell phone at him. He dodged it and it broke into several pieces. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR NUMBER! I ALREADY CHANGED MINE!” To catch up for lost time she walked quickly down the hall to leave. “TELL THE WORLD! JUSTIN LEFT JADE AND I! HE LEFT US! I’M A SINGLE MOTHER WITH A BABY!” She turned to the guard behind her. “Which way is towards the parking lot? That way or that way?” The man pointed to the direction. “Okay. Thank you.” She lapsed suddenly. She pulled her pants down and flashed Justin along with everyone else. “Kiss my ass, you lame ass fag. YOU FUCKING FAGGOT, JUSTIN!” She threw her pager at him, and broke it. She met eyes with the guards. “Okay. I’m going this time. You don’t have to follow me. I’m out of here.” She shouted obscene things, and banged on the walls, as she raided down the hall. “HIS OWN DAUGHTER! WHAT A MAN! WHAT A REAL MAN! LAME, BITCH!”
Joey laid out on the floor after having saw Kim like he did.
JC winked blankly and then swirled towards Justin. “Hold on. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Justin, what just happened? PLEASE tell me and explain, because I know you and Kim haven’t broken up. I KNOW THAT!”
He peered at the security eerily and didn’t answer him. “Lets go do the intro rehearsal, alright? I’m not talking about any of it.”
“Yes, you are talking about it. You have a wedding coming up, Justin. SO, YOU AND KIM BROKE UP?” He thumped his shoulder. “I NEED ANSWERS, JUSTIN! TALK TO ME!”
“Get off of me. I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT IT!”
He charged him and held him against the wall. “NOW I AM PISSED OFF! THIS HAS WENT TOO FAR! YOU AND KIM AND ALL OF YOUR BULL SHIT NEEDS TO STOP! EVERYONE HAS WENT THROUGH SO MUCH TO HELP YOU PREPARE FOR “YOUR” WEDDING! THE FREAKING TOUR HAD DATES TAKEN OFF OF IT FOR YOUR WEDDING AND HONEYMOON! AND YOU AND KIM CALL YOURSELF BROKEN UP? BOTH OF YOU NEED TO WAKE UP AND STOP BEING SO DAMN CHILDISH! BOTH OF YOU ARE WALKING AROUND HURTING EACH OTHER BACK AND FOURTH! PLAYING GOD DAMN TAG LIKE A BUNCH OF TWO YEAR OLDS! YOU BOTH MESSED UP AND YOU BOTH NEED TO GET TOGETHER AND MOVE ON! STOP PLAYING GAMES! AND YOU NEED TO GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, JUSTIN!” He shook him violently as he spoke. “YOU THINK YOU ARE SO PERFECT AND THAT YOU NEVER DO ANY WRONG! WELL, YOU ARE NOT PERFECT AND IS PROBABLY TO BLAME FOR YOU AND KIM FIGHTING RIGHT NOW! I CAN’T CHOOSE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU, BUT I KNOW THAT YOU AND KIM NEED EACH OTHER! AND BY HURTING ONE ANOTHER YOU ARE HURTING YOUR LOVED ONES AS WELL! I WAS PLANNING ON YOUR WEDDING! NOW I’M PLANNING TO KICK YOUR ASS!”
“I was your best man.” Chris blurted for no reason. "Am I still your best man?"
Justin struck JC away and had a moment of rigid eye contact with him. He was so speechless that he matured in stupidity.
"I'm leaving. FORGET THIS TOUR! I can't concentrate on dancing right now." JC shrieked. "This just ruined my day, dude. This is too much shit."
Lance ushered behind the heated JC. "I'm with him. I'm going home." The two guys consigned from the building and into the parking lot. On the journey to get to their cars, another car caught their attention. A sliver Porsche of some type. The top of the car diminished into the trunk, converting it into a comfortable convertible. The same Destiny's Child CD was in the car, except a new song was on repeat. The music was so loud it vibrated in their chests.
"Kim." Lance and JC breathed. They ranged to her car.
"What is she listening to?" Lanced asked.
"Bootylicious. The song describes her perfectly." He shuddered. "Hey, Kim." JC said shyly. "Are you okay? We heard what happened back there."
She shook her head. "Nope." She said with a voluminous smile.
"Awww. We are sorry that you and Justin broke up." Lance added. "Thats really really sad."
She giggled. "Yup. It's very sad. Hahaha."
"Wow! You really told Justin back there. You were mad, huh? By the way, you look amazing." JC enthused.
She laughed. "I wasn't really as psycho as it seemed. Justin called security on me, so I acted up and made a big scene to embarrass him. I was drawing attention, if you know what I mean. According to Justin I look like a hoe. Thank you for thinking I look amazing, but I would never really wear something like this. I was trying to impress Justin with my body. It didn't quite work as I thought it would. In fact he called me a hoe to my face and a bitch. Justin would never say that to me if he was in the right mind. So that is clinical proof that he hates me and our relationship is over."
Lance chuckled because she was laughing. "You are just so happy. And like all of the worst things possible happened to you. Haha!"
"Oh, Lance. It's just a mask. Right now I'm wearing the happy version, because it hasn't sank in that Justin dumped me. But when I get home, I'm going to take the mask off...and I'm going to scream and cry. And probably break something. I'm going to go home and break down. Jade is at Griffin's house. So, I'm going home to clear my mind. I have to do something with myself. Or I'm going to go crazy. This is just TOO much! Everything. Everything having to do with Justin. A month ago Justin and I had the best relationship. The best sex. Everything was perfect and then...all this shit comes up. I just don't understand how so much has happened in about the time span of a week." She chortled. "Oh, well. I just don't care anymore. HAHA!"
"I just yelled at Justin. I'm mad at him, but I'm mad at you too. You both need to get back together. It's as simple as that. Both of your problem is you need each other. Just drop everything and get together. I don't know why you and him are acting so crazy and stupid. This is non of my business but Justin kinda told the guys and I that you hadn't been intimate in like a month and a week. And I think you could be sexually frustrated. And you know it bad when he's been counting the days."
She laughed gaudily. "That could be ONE of the problems! But there are a million more. And they have nothing to do with sexual frustration. Hahaha!"
Lance quavered his head. "You are so cute, Kim. You have the cutest laugh. And you aren't panning on doing anything stupid are you? Like hurt yourself when you get home?"
"Aha! No! I have a baby to take care of. Jade needs someone."
"Oh, my God. I forgot about Jade. Kim, Justin didn't leave you. There is no way he would leave you with the baby. No way." JC commented.
"It's not that he would. He did. He left days ago. I don't know where he is staying."
"I could find out for you." He continued to say.
"Nah. I don't want to know. To be honest, I don't care. Nothing matters anymore." She exhibited a collecting of things she had in the passenger side seat, then looked at her nails. "Hmmm. I need to get more acrylic put on my nails before they start breaking. It took me too long to grow them out." She picked at them. "Anyway, I came here to make up with, Justin. But something told me that I would come in contact with his bullshit. SO, I had a little back up plan, just in case he didn't want to make up." She giggled. "I kind of packed a few things for him." She clutched a pair of jeans from the seat. "JC, you know what? These are a brand new pair of jeans from Gucci. They have the Mona Lisa on the knees, you know? You have a nice slender body but you have a lot of muscle. I think they would look awesome on you. Take them. They might be a little tight, but tight is good with the butt you have."
He blushed. "Aw, thank you. Kim, you are such a sweetheart. I'll wear these tomorrow. I love them."
Her teeth glowed at Lance. "And, Lance. Here
are some button down shirts that I got at Gucci the other day. They would look
so great on you. And your arms seem to be growing by the seconds. You go,
boy." She handed him five different style shirts.
"THANK YOU SO MUCH! I can't believe you just gave these to me."
She giggled. "Oh, there is more. Stand back guys." They reared away from her down car window. She began to throw things to the ground. "Tons of jewelry. She threw the necklace that said JRT out of the window. She held the huge diamond and sapphire lace collar, that Justin got her, out of the window. "Here, give that to Bobbi or your mom or something, JC!" She continued to toss items which she either loved or bought for Justin from the car.
"Whoa...I get it now. This is Justin's stuff isn't it? Or stuff he brought you?" Lance questioned.
She laughed. "No. It WAS Justin's stuff." She invested her music back up and began to sing. "My body's too bootylicious for you, babe. Thats right. I'm too crazy for Justin, so he says. He can't handle me. I'm too much for him." She cackled as she reached behind her seat and removed a large garbage bag. "'Cause my body's too bootylicious for ya, babe." She winked at Lance and JC. "Nice song, eh?" They nodded, which made her laugh harder. She departed from the car and dumped the entire bag of contents on the pavement. All the guys could do was watch.
"She's so rad." JC whispered to Lance.
He nodded. "Uh huh."
She dumped a second bag of things out. After she had dumped all of the bags that was in the car, she popped the trunk open and had more garbage bags of clothes and other items. She emptied all of the bags on the public ground. When she was finished she dusted her hands and hopped back into her blaring car. She dipped her head to the music. "My work here is done." She giggled and cut the music down several levels, so she could be heard. "My work here is done. Oh, yeah. One last thing." She reached in the glove department of the car and removed a personalized envelope. "Make sure Justin gets this please." Lance took the envelope. "Well, guys. I'm about to hit the road."
"OH MY GOD! SHE KEYED MY FUCKING CAR!" Justin, who had just entered the parking lot, was brunt up with anger after having saw 'Jade loves you' carved into the paint of his car.
"If anyone asks who did all of this. Tell them Kim did it. And I will be at home. Give them my address, if the cops come or something. I am responsible for the mess, and I don't care if I get in trouble for it. Bye guys!" She waved dramatically and laughed at Justin yelling. Her sports and racing car flew out of the parking lot. As she paused at a turn she yelled to someone. "Hey do you like Justin Timberlake?" The young girl nodded. "Well, back there you can pick up a pair of his boxers. They are clean. And a whole bunch of other stuff too."
"REALLY! OH MY GOD? Aren't you Kim? The girl he is going to marry?"
She shook her head. "Not anymore! Hahaha!"
She drove off.
I cannot believe she keyed my car. "YO, LANCE! What is all of that over there? What the hell did she do now?"
Lance waved for him to come over to them. "GET OVER HERE, JUSTIN! CHECK IT OUT, MAN!"
He jogged over to him. "What?"
"It's your stuff. She dumped it out. She said to give you this envelope."
"Oh." He said sadly accepting it. He peeked into the envelope and saw a check written to him from her for five million dollars.
"What is it?" JC asked curiously.
He bit his lip. "Um...it's a check. I think she is kicking me out of the house. And then paying me back for things I brought her." His finger moved the check forward and behind it was a hand written note by her. He decided he would read it when the guys wasn't around him because he felt like crying.
"Justin, we'll help you pick your stuff up." JC bent down and began to gather things in his arms, along with the jeans Kim gave him. Lance joined him. "Justin, I'm sorry for yelling at you back there and grabbing you. I don't know what to think anymore, so I'm just isolating myself from all of it."
"This is all a shock to me. I never thought she would do this."
"Ahahaha. Puzzle pieces." JC sniggled. "Why she give that back? What's the photo of a kitten or something? HAHAHAAAAAA!"
His eyes were deep and heavyhearted. "It's not funny, JC. I gave it to her on her birthday. It's a puzzle of the first picture we ever took together. What's that in your hand?"
JC looked at it. "Oh. Kim gave me these jeans and this necklace. She's been checking out my ass. She said they would look good on my butt. I'm gonna wear them tomorrow. The necklace couldn't be real. It's too huge with diamonds and stuff. But if I gave it to Bobbi she would die because I never buy things like this. I'm a wealthy man, but cheap."
"Those jeans are mine." He took them. "And I brought her the necklace. Yes, it's real. Real diamonds. And real sapphires. It's the most expensive anything I ever brought her. I got it for her for the wedding." JC handed it to him. "Thank you."
"If you said you didn't want to marry her, then how is she going to wear it?"
"Exactly." JC agreed with Lance. "And she looked so hot today."
"I know she did." Justin whispered picking up his boxers.
"And you were calling her a bitch and all of that?" Lance asked. "You were calling her a hoe. Saying she looked bad. I heard of that, Justin. Why did you say that if you are saying she looked hot now?"
He shrugged mournfully. "I don't know." He sniffed. "This is just a fraction of my clothes I wonder what she's going to do with the rest them ."
"Pictures!" JC exclaimed. "Here, Justin." He contributed a bunch to him. "There are more, but I have to pile them up."
"Okay. Thanks." His hands were getting full. But he was able to browse through the pictures using his fingers.
"Where did you and her take those pictures anyway? You guys look cute."
"Um. It was a photo shoot we had at a beach. It was..." His voice graggled when he saw a picture of him and Jade sleeping. Kim had taken the picture when they fell asleep as she read to them. Behind that picture was a picture of him and Kim. Something overwhelmed him from seeing the pictures and he dropped them.
"Justin, this is all the remains of your PlayStation III. It's broken into pieces. I feel sorry for you. You'll never get another one. The only reason we had them in the first place, was the trip to Japan. And they are rare in Japan. She broke your PlayStation." Lance told him
"Oh, she did?" He whispered, not surprised.
"Plane tickets." JC held up another envelope to him.
Justin accepted it. "Thanks. He gaped into the envelope. "These are our honeymoon tickets. We were going to Paris, but because of the tour I was taking her to Hawaii, since she had never been."
"This is sad." Lance said. "It really is. I don't know what to make of this. And where is Chris and Joey?"
"Another envelope. There is jewelry everywhere. So many damn diamonds." JC presented it to Justin
Justin nabbed the envelope.
"So, are you and Kim really broken up."
His shoulders lifted morosely. "I guess." He pronounced lowly. Inside of the envelope was a pair of tiny heart-shaped earrings, a tiny ring, and a small necklace. They were all Jades. One glance of this and his eyes were salivating with tears.
"What's in the envelope?" JC asked.
Justin just shook his head, which meant he wasn't going to say. He turned his back on the guys. I'm going to open my trunk so you guys can put all of the stuff in it. Thank you for helping me." He swiftly walked to his car and sat down inside of it. He put his things down in the seat beside him except the envelope with the letter from Kim. He popped the trunk and then withdrew the letter and unfolded it. He began to read the note, which she wrote in neat, bubbly handwriting with a pink Sakura gelly roll pen.
I am writing this note as a back up, just in case things don't go well when I go to see you. But if you really end up with this note, I have a few things to tell you. First of all, I am sorry for what I did. What can a person do if they messed up so bad that saying sorry is nothing? And I am sorry that you no longer want me. I think it horrendous what we have become. I will always love you, Justin. No matter how much you hate me. And I am hurting so horribly. I miss you so much. Physically and mentally. But I will have to move on. I think the thing I am going to miss most about you is that you were my best-friend. Just because you claim that I am good-looking doesn't mean that I'm such a popular person. I'm so lonely without you, you were my best-friend, my boyfriend, my fiancé, my husband, my brother, and my father all in the same person. Being with you made me feel special. I am going to miss you greatly, Justin. Something that hurts me the most is Jade is involved in this. And it's hard to believe that you would just walk out of her. I can't believe it. And she knows. She knows that her daddy is not away on tour. She can sense that you are gone. And I don't know how to tell her, or explain to her that you aren't coming back. She doesn't understand why she can't see daddy. And it's killing me and breaking my heart. I was just going to hang myself, to get life over with, but I realized that I have her. She looks just like you. And every time I look at her I have to see you. This will make it harder for me to get over you. I wish you the best in your new life. I'm not going to bother you anymore. I gave you your two million dollars for the house back, and extra money for just dealing with me for so long. If you think you deserve more money, tell Mike to get it from me for you. Jade and I will not mess with you, if you don't mess with us. It doesn't seem possible, but Jade and I can't do anything now except move on without you in our life. Bye, Justin.
He lethargically wiped his tears away with the back of his hand. He gazed behind him, and saw the JC and Lance were adding his things into the trunk, so he began to read the note over again. It was becoming damp with his raining tears.
October 25, 2002. Chanel Party (Next night)
A lent hand of an usher perpetrated her body out of the spacious, black limo. Kim smiled at the man and tipped her head at him. "Thank you." She told him. Her hand inspired to her face. She touched the sunglasses she used as an accessory to cover the rough appearance of her bloodshot eyes. The event was made for couples to show up, but Kim was flying solo. She was attending the party by herself. She paced to the entrance of the large Victorian styled home. As soon as she stepped into the crowded house a door man insisted to take her jacket. After having her jacket removed, she looked around.
Her hair was curled into a feathered style. Her shirt made the illusion of black shreds against her, and the portion of it that wasn't black was a flesh colored mesh material. On her waist hung a double split mini skirt , with a metallic sparkle belt. Everything her outfit consisted of was Chanel. She noticed that people were pointing at her and whispering. Her break up with Justin was spreading around, but she tried not to let it get to her.
"KIM, THERE YOU ARE!"
She turned around.
"I've been waiting for you to get here."
She smiled brightly at her agent Roger. "Hey. Here I am." She giggled. "I believe I had an observation today or something like that."
His head slanted and he took her hand. "Yes, Kim. That is what I have been waiting for. Fernando is here to give you an observation. Remember, smile as much as you can. He works for Gucci, DKNY, and Inca. All of the clothes names that you love. He is looking for a model and I know he would want you by just taking one look at you. Don't be offended if he touches you a little.
She walked as quickly as her legs would let her follow. "Um, okay."
He directed her into a private room. Sitting down in a chair was a small man with a goatee.
"Kim, meet Fernando. Fernando, meet Kim."
They shook hands. "Nice to meet you, Kim."
"Nice to meet you."
"As Roger told you, I am Fernando. I have been looking for one more model. The perfect model to be in a runway show. And I already know your status and I already know you do not want to do runways because of your height. I am going to ask you to just do this one runway. You would be paid generously and get all of the clothes you model sent to your home. This would take place around December in London. I first saw you on the cover of a magazine and from that day on I knew I had to reach you some how. And about the height. A nice pair of high heels will do you fine. Just like the ones you have on now."
She giggled. "Yes, I understand. Roger has told me about how badly you wanted me to be a model for you, so I thought about it and I'd love to help you. I'm not doing this for the money though. Thats the thing. So instead of paying me for the show. Just give the money to The Justin Timberlake Charity Fund."
He nodded his head. "Anything for you, Kim. I would be more than happy to do that.”
Roger spoke up. “Okay, Kim. An observation is just a standard procedure. Fernando is going to just look you over to see if you meet the requirements for the runway. You already do. But it’s also good to just do the observation anyway.”
Fernando stood. “Kim, what I am going to do now is look over your body and ask you about your body. If you feel uncomfortable at any time please tell me.”
“Alright. I've done many of these so...” She almost laughed when the man began to circle around her, taking in her whole body.
“Kim, has been modeling for several months now. She makes more money in a month, than some models do who have been working for five years. She is already our top model. She has brought Chanel millions without doing one runway. Millions.”
“Shhhh, don’t tell anyone that please. I’m embarrassed. I don’t think it’s fair that I get paid more than the models who have been working longer.”
“And might I add, Fernando. She has a great heart.”
His eyebrows arched and he made eye contact with the man. “So, I see. Kim, you are very sweet.”
“And what is your clothes size, Kim?”
“Two to a three. Mostly three.”
“Ummm. Last time I got on a scale I was one-twelve.”
He made an thumbs up. “Excellent.” He whispered rubbing his chin.
“Another thing. Kim is what people want in a model. She can lose weight quickly. Look at her stomach and how absolutely beautiful her body is. She had a baby about five months ago. She was doing photo shoots three months after she had a baby.”
“Is he serious?” Fernando asked Kim.
“How often do you tan?”
“Never. I was born tan. This is my natural color. Actually I have been out in the sun for shoots, so this is as dark as I get. I am so dark that I don’t get any darker. Well, I’m not dark, I just have a deep tan.”
“A very nice tan is more like it. What is your chest size if you don't mind me asking..."
She giggled. "Hey, don't worry about it. Being a model I get the same questions all of the time. Big "B" to a "C" it just all depends."
"And you mentioned that you were pregnant..."
"Yeah. They were like on the verge of a "D"." She laughed. "My body was out of proportion and all of that fat was just gross. Breasts are just fat. I stopped breast feeding and they went down. Thank God!"
His eyes widened. "So they are REAL?"
"Yes." She sighed. "I don't have implants."
His eyes squinted at her in disbelief.
"I'm serious. I never had plastic surgery."
He pointed at her. "Then how come they are so round at the top." He accidentally touched her breast.
She blushed. "Okay, I'm getting uncomfortable."
He shook. "I'm sorry about that. Can you walk for me, Kim?"
She walked across the room.
Fernando jumped up and down. "SHE PERFECT! SHE'S PERFECT! PLEASE MODEL FOR US, KIM! PLEASE! JUST ONE SHOW!"
She smiled hesitantly. "I am already. Calm down now, Fernando."
He laughed heavily. "It's pleasure doing business with you. God you are so prefect. It's amazing, Roger. You have yourself a perfect model. One last thing. Why are you hiding your eyes with those sunglasses?"
She revered the position of her head. "I don't....um. I've been going through some hard times. Something horrible happened. And I've been crying a lot. I don't want anyone to see my eyes. I look really bad."
He dislocated the sunglasses before she could protest. "Don't hide your face, honey. Aww, You've been crying."
She looked down. "I told you. I look just terrible. I'm ashamed of myself."
"Why? Your face is so beautiful. I can honestly say you are perfect. You have the most beautiful face. Oh, my God. You are one blessed girl. How much makeup are you wearing? Foundation?"
"No, I don't wear foundation or let the makeup artists put it on me. My skin is fine and I'm scared I'll break out if I use it. I wear glosses a lot. And eyes shadow. I have gloss on tonight and thats it."
Fernando was so stunned he just shook his head.
She started to think about Justin, and was on the verge of tears. "Okay. I...I need to go. I mean, join the party."
"Thats fine with me." Fernando said. "I am just honored that you are willing to do the runway."
She attached the sunglasses back to her face. "You are welcome. I think I'm going to go have a drink." Before anything else was said she permitted from the room. She moaned in frustration and relaxed against a wall. She missed Justin so much. Every few minutes she found herself crying from his absents. Now was not the time to be crying.
"Hey, Kim!" A brown haired model called. "I heard about your break up with Justin. I'm really sorry."
Her sympathy was fake and Kim could sense it. "We aren't broken up. It's just a rumor."
"Oh, really? It was in the paper that he dumped you in a coffee shop. Everyone knows, Kim. And why aren't you wearing your ring?"
She gazed at her finger. "Because I didn't want to. Justin and I are still together, thank you very much. And it's really none of your business."
"Well, a friend of mine saw him the other day, and she asked him. He said he ended it with you and that you were old news. I can see why." She laughed at her.
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Miss 'It's gonna be implants'." She held her breasts. "At least mine are real."
"Would you fancy a drink, madam?" Ryan laughed.
She gasped in excitement. "RYAN! OH, MY GOD! I'm so happy to see you!"
He jumped. "What's up, girl? You remember me. I'm shocked."
"I just got back from an observation. I hate them! They make you seem like a piece of meat. How much to you weigh. What's your chest size? Are they real?"
"HAHA! I know what you mean."
"Oh, my God. I...I just don't know anyone here. I mean, I know people. Most of the models hate me and I don't know why. All the girl models at least. And the brown haired girl over there is talking shit about me. I want to kick her ass, but I'm trying to cut down on the fighting. Besides I guess I should let her keep the extensions. Haha!"
He laughed with her. "Haha. Extensions. Thats a good one. Probably true. It's hard to be natural and perfect like you."
She giggled and took the champagne he touched to her. "Thank you, Ryan. I'm so happy to see someone I know. " She saw the model pointing at her in an offended manner. "YES I JUST TALKED ABOUT YOU!" She laughed. "Yeah, right. I dare you to come over here. You won't because I'll beat your face in. I'm crazy like that." She smiled at Ryan.
"Ha! What are you and her fighting about?"
"She said that Justin broke up with me."
"Haha! And she doesn't know what she's talking about, right?"
She giggled. "No, he broke up with me. But you are the only one I am telling this to."
His face lessened with joy. "What? Why did he break up with you?"
She licked her lips. "It's so confusing." She took her sunglasses from her face, and he could see that her eyes had solution flowing from them. "Look at me, you can tell. I can't stop crying. And I miss my baby so badly. I never thought I'd miss him so much. As horrible as he has been the past few days, he has made me feel so good about myself in the past. I love him. And I want him to love me. He called me a bitch and a hoe. I know it's over now. Just by that."
He gave her a hug and held her. "How bizarre. I thought you'd be the last couple on earth to break up. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. It's not your fault." She cried against his chest. "I love him so much...and he is so freaking fine. I'm so lonely. It sucks."
"Listen, Kim. Lets leave the party. And I'll take you out to dinner."
She laughed. "Yeah, right. You have a girlfriend."
He nodded. "Sure do, a girlfriend that I love very much. But I want you to cheer up. I want to take you to dinner as just a friend. A friendly date."
"Sure you do."
"I swear to GOD! Just friends. We can go to dinner as just friends, besides I want to hear this story...haha."
"Okay, well I have to go home first and tell my babysitter that I'm going out again, and I have to change. This outfit is cute, but it's too revealing."
(That night, after the date)
"Jade is asleep. Natasha and Joshua are gone. Lets see. So Ryan is a nice guy. He is VERY good looking! Funny! Sweet! Has nice muscles! He is VERY built." She unzipped her red leather pants and took them off. "His smile is gorgeous. And he has a bulge which is about the same size as Justin. What's wrong with him? He's not Justin. Thats besides the fact that he has a girlfriend, who he has been with for the last three years. And he loves her so much. I can tell. Friends. Friends is as far as I'd get with him. I need someone. I'm getting desperate already. I need someone to talk to or kiss or something." She put her hands to her face. "Jesus, Kim. You are so damn pathetic. You are having a conversation with yourself. How lame can you get?"
She threw her red, spacey sunglasses off. "Shades. I like hate them. I NEVER wear them, but I look like shit so I have to hide myself in some way." She held her fists to her face. "I AM SO AGGRAVATED. I'M GOING CRAZY! I'M...I'M REALLY GOING CRAZY!" She fell to her knees on the bedroom floor and resolved with grief. She crumpled her hair in her hands. "Ohhhhhhh. It hurts so bad. It makes me SO angry!" She punched her fist against the carpet like a child. "Yeah. I'm PATHETIC! I am SO PATHETIC! LET ME GET MY ASS OFF OF THIS FLOOR!" She accomplished all of her clothes off and headed to the shower for some therapeutic healing.
After her shower she egresses from the steaming bathroom partially dry. She rejected the towel from around her body and placed it on the edge of the bed, captured her bottle of lotion, and sat on the towel and began to lotion her legs. "I need to do SOMETHING!" She closed her eyes for a moment. "Something with myself. Because I'm just so weak emotionally. I have to boost my confidence back up." After lotioning her legs, she went to the dresser to look in the mirror. Instead of going to the closet for under clothes, she opened up a drawer and got her a pair of underwear and a bra from there. "I mean, I need to stay strong or get stronger. This is what I'm going to do. Tomorrow, I'm going to...I don't know. Take Jade to lunch with me or something. Spend some quality time with her, and prove to her that I do love her." She devaled in the mirror, and thought for a moment. "Oh, Kim. You are so lean. You look like you have been performing for a few years. Thats because while you have been gone for three weeks, Justin. I was learning chorography to do your little Britney performance. Not anymore. You fucked that up once again. YOU WON'T BE HERE FOR IT! And how about fuck you, Justin? Him and his little high pitched girly voice. Till the day my life is throughhhhh. Hell, I can sing more manly than that." She let out a thick breath. "I take it back. That was mean. I'm not going to sink to his level, he has a beautiful, angelic voice. And...face." She slipped her black lace panties on. Her brain rewinded something. And image in the mirror. Her eyes zoomed in on a certain area in the mirror. Someone else was in the room, and had been in the room for a while. She leap and almost fainted. She gasped when she realized it was Justin, sitting on his side of the bed. Her hand felt around for the dresser to give her stability. "Oh...oh...my...God! JUSTIN?"
She had never saw him look like he did, ever before. And the same for Justin seeing her. Both of them wore horrid representations on their faces. His face looked of that of a scolded puppy with it's ears down. "Kim. Hi." His whisper broke.
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