Chapter 21 Look at Kim and Justin in there Digital Getdown wear! Aren't they CUTE?
"Hello?" The sound of his voice actually stopped her heart. She stopped rubbing the baby and just froze. "HELLO?"
"Hi." She said simply and not very enthusiastic.
The sound on her treasured voice almost made him sick because he was not prepared for it. "Kim?" It couldn't be her. His ears must have heard wrong. A few seconds later he knew it had to be her because she didn't say anything else. There was this knot in his throat that took over him and he was trying to speak. He needed to try harder before she hung up on him. "Baby..." He whispered. "I just got home two hours ago from New York. I called the hospital when I got a message from Griffin saying you had the baby already, but they said that you checked out at noon. Kim I hate myself. I wanted to be there. I wanted to be by your side. I wanted to..." He just all out cried.
She was completely silent.
"Please talk to me! Please say something. I NEED YOU BABY GIRL! I need you back."
Still she didn't say anything.
"Please say something. Say fuck you Justin, say something. PLLLLEEEAASSEEEE! I'm begging you." He cried harder. "PPPPLLLLLLLEEEASSE."
She tried to be strong and ignored the tear that fell out of her eye. "You weren't there and you cheated on me. How can I forgive you for that, Justin? HOW?" She held the baby closer to her.
"I wasn't there and I know that." He sucked up the mucus in his nose. "But I DID NOT CHEAT on you baby! I would never..."
"NO! I don't want to hear it. I know what I saw, Justin. I KNOW WHAT I SAW." She knew the situation would probably get ugly. She picked up Jade and carried her to her crib. She placed her gently down on her back and covered her up with a pale pink blanket, so she could sleep."
"EXACTLY! YOU KNOW ONLY WHAT YOU SAW. If you would let me explain..."
"I'm not listening to this. I was only calling to tell you that the baby is fine. I know you don't care about me, but the baby is fine." She quickly walked out of the baby's room and tried to keep her voice level from rising too much.
"Just shut up, Kim. Just SHUT UP and listen to me. I DIDN'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWW!" He shouted in the phone and he hit it against the wall a few times. "I'M SICK AND TIRED OF LOOKING LIKE THE BAD GUY! I DIDN'T KNOWWWWWWW! I WAS JUST SLEEPING IN BED, NEXT THING I KNOW THIS MYSTERIOUS WOMAN WAS ON TOP OF ME! I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU, KIM! YOU ARE ALWAYS GETTING ON TOP OF ME AND I THOUGHT IT WAS YOUUUUUUUUUU! I DIDN'T KNOW KIM! I DIDN'T KNOW!"
"Whatever, Justin! Your lying! I know you LOVE HER and NOT ME!"
He was so upset that he Just dropped the phone and broke a few things in the background. It would NOT sink in. She would not believe he was innocent. He shattered all the lamps in the living room. "YOU ARE RIDICULOUS! YOU REALLY ARE! OKAY, 'KIM'! IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME FIIIIIINNNNNEEE!" His breaths were erratic and crazy. She could just imagine the fire blowing off of him. "YOUR RIGHT, I LIED. I WAS FUCKING BRITNEY BEHIND YOUR BACK." He was shouting too much and his throat was hurting. "Your right. The woman that I love, the woman that I want to be with forever: I lived with her, I took her out for ice-cream when she was my slave, I cried endless nights because she wasn't with me, oh don't forget she gave her virginity to me, I got her pregnant, I threw her in the pool every time she said an offensive joke about me, I gave her, her first kiss both ways, I always call her baby girl too much. So yeah Britney is 'the' girl that I love SO! I LOVE HER SO MUCH THAT I HAD HER ARRESTED FOR ASSAULTING ME IN MY OWN BED AND BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE! I LOVE HER SOOOOOOOO MUCH, KIM. DON'T YOU SEE I CHEATED ON YOU WITH HER BECAUSE I LOVE HER SOOOOOO MUCH!" He sank down into the couch and held his head with the palm of his hand. "Ohhhh God. This is killing me. I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS! I CAAAAAAANNNNNNN'TTTT! I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS SHIT! YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ALL THAT I'VE BEEN THOUGH, DEALING WITH ALL OF THIS! "He needed to clam down some, so he dealt with his emotions by not saying anything for a while. Of course Kim was shocked out of her mind. He was so upset and angry that she felt it in her heart. She felt the innocence of him. She didn't tell him that though.
There was a long pause.
"Can I see the baby?" Justin asked sadly. He had managed to calm down some. He was talking at a normal tone.
"Why should you be able to see the baby?"
"Because I'm the father. I have the right to see my OWN child! DAMMIT!"
"Oh you are a father? I sure as hell can't tell. You've done nothing to be able to consider yourself a father. Oh, except donate sperm. And that seems to be a constantly occurring thing with you."
"I couldn't do anything for the baby because you decided to LEAVE ME! IF YOU WOULD HAVE LET ME EXPLAIN, WE WOULDN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW! You are the one that went overboard by not hearing me out. And I don't CARE what you say about me donating sperm and shit. I have nothing to say to you about that. At least God's knows I'm innocent. "
"Well , what was I suppose to think, Justin? Seeing you with her like that? HUH? Don't you think I have a right to be upset over what I SAW?"
"Yes baby, you do. But don't I have a right to see my baby, and what about how I should feel? Do you know what it's like to be accused of something, and you were innocent? Do you know I tried to kill myself over this? DID YOU KNOW THAT, KIM?"
"YOU WHAT? Justin you...you tired to kill yourself?" She looked at the baby monitor to see if her rising voice had woke the baby. She shivered. The word kill scared her to death. He tried to KILL himself? Over what had happened?
"I have Chris and JC to thank for what they've done for me. Never mind that. Please Kim, I beg of you, let me see the baby. Thats all I ask. If you never want to look at me again after this, that is fine, just please let me see my baby."
"Okay Justin, I'll meet you at the coffee shop, so you can see the baby. I'll see you tomorrow morning at nine." She hung up the phone. She had too. He was becoming overwhelming. He had tried to Kill himself? Justin?
Kim didn't get any sleep, and she needed it because her body was so tired and drained. She was ordered by the doctors to try not to walk up and down a flight a stairs more than once a day, and here she was going to the coffee shop. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her chest had grown about a size bigger and in the shirt she was in, she felt uncomfortable; in all shirts she felt uncomfortable. It had to do though. She was shocked that her stomach was returning back to it's normal state, it was basically flat again. She ran her hand down her thighs to smooth her jeans. She was ready. She wasn't trying to impress Justin with her looks, so she just touched up her now 'feathered' and short hair cut with a brush.
She swept up Jade and held her as properly as she could. "Get ready, baby girl. Today your going to see Daddy."
She pulled into the parking lot of the coffee shop. Her eyes caught Justin's BMW. Kim walked over to Jade, and pulled out the portion of her car seat that turned into a carrier. When she entered the door of the coffee shop her body filled with fear when she saw Justin with a hat on, sitting at the table they always sat at when they went out for coffee every morning. He did not see her as she approached him. It had been so long since she saw him in person, but to actually touch him gave her hot flashes. She tapped him on the shoulder.
"Hi ,Justin." He turned around so quickly he hurt his neck "Don't stand up it could make a scene and someone may recognize you."
It was too much for him. To see her, took the life out of him, but to notice she was holding his child too. It was too much. He placed both of his hands over his mouth and nose. "O...my...God. It's been so long since I've..." When he saw a small figure in a mound of blankets it stole his voice away. "Oh my God." He whispered. "My baby."
Kim put the baby down in the carrier and slowly, very slowly sat her aching body in a chair. She was reacting very much like Justin. She missed seeing his beautiful face. She fiddled with the blankets around Jade. "Justin, say hi to your DAUGHTER." She took Jade from the carrier carefully. She had to be as careful as possible with the fragile baby, because she really wasn't suppose to be taking the baby out of the house this early on in her life. She then handed Jade to Justin who looked scared to death.
He swallowed harshly and held the baby tight with his two mighty hands. He closed his eyes and squeezed them tight for a silent moment. He was hoping he could force all of his tears out of his eyes so he could see her clearly. "She's beautiful." He chocked out. He shook his head and his red face gleamed with pride. "She looks just like me." His speech more faint that the last. He took a deep pathetic breath and swallowed too hard again and brought the tiny baby closer to his face. "She looks just like me." He repeated. He couldn't say anymore, he was not stunned because he thought the baby was a boy and it turned out to be a girl, he was stunned because for the first time ever he was holding...his creation. His life. His world. All in one tiny, but spectacular human. She was 'his' baby...he couldn't get over it. He just couldn't. "I..." His tears were stealing his words and sprang from his face. "She's..." His throat turned to complete sand.
"She does look like you." Kim admitted. "She caught my hair and eye color though." She laughed and then wiped her sobbing face with the sleeve on her arm.
Jade's eyes were closed and she began shifting. Patiently her eyes opened. She then laid eyes on her crying father.
Justin turned his head to the side trying to figure the baby out. She then smiled and balled her acute hands into a fist. Something inside of him lost it and released more tear drops of joy. "Your so beautiful...your so..." He held her closer to him. "Yes sweetheart, I'm you Daddy." He placed the baby's head on his shoulder and held her. He wanted to squeeze her, but she was to fragile for that. He could not believe he was holding his baby. For some odd reason his life felt complete, just by holding her in his arms. "I love you. I love you so much. Your my girl. MY GIRL!" Justin then took her from his shoulder and beamed his eyes at the child tucked to his chest. He wiped one of his eyes and sniffled. "What's her name Kim? Please tell me her name. She gorgeous." It hurt him to know, he was not there for Kim. In her most needed existence, he was not there.
Kim was losing it because Justin was so worked up. If it weren't for them being in a average coffee shop early in the morning they would have gotten so much attention drawn to them. She was also crying because Justin was crying. "She told me she wanted her name to be Jade. So I named her what she told me. She didn't physically tell me, but in a strange way, I got the message."
Justin's conscious was instantly on her. "Jade?" He didn't realize he was losing his voice and it was only getting more and more faint as he spoke. His tone now was a loud whisper. And the word Jade sort of scared him at first. "Jade? That is so weird because I thought I saw Jade in the sand that day, and that doll fell out of the...it must be a sign. Your and angle." He whispered to the baby. "I now, know you are an angel." He smiled at the baby, and as if she was responding to him she smiled again. "Your my angle...Jade, you really are."
Kim covered her mouth and cried. Justin would be the most perfect father, she knew that already. She didn't know what to say. She was just taken aback by how amazing he was with the baby. "I thought you would be mad if it wasn't a boy. Just like my dad was about me."
His head turned in the direction of her for the first time since the incident they made eye contact. Kim looked so different. More beautiful then any day he had ever saw her. She was radiantly glowing with something, he didn't know what it was. "I love her. I'm not mad because she's not a boy. She's my baby girl...number two. Daddy's little girl. My girl!" He smiled at Kim and used one of his hands to wiped the tears off of her face. He sniffled. "Oh my God she is beautiful. Just like you. It's so good to see you, sweetheart. Are you okay? Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm OK. I shouldn't be outside, but taking it easy and getting rest...Jade shouldn't be either...lets just say I broke a few rules, just so you could see her." Kim thought she was literally going to be sick. Not because anything bad or disgusting happened, but because she was touched by Justin and the touch sickened her because of the power he contained. It was like he had some kind of hold on her that was weighting her down. As if one of his touches or kisses could change the person she was, and just by the sweep of his hand under her eyes, she was entranced. Not just by his outstanding looks, but the love she had for him and he had for her. They were made for each other.
Justin had picked up her hand, and was stoking it lightly. "How did you do it? How are you strong enough to go through all that you did?"
She smiled at his sincerity. "Labor was hell. And I thought I was going to die. I kept thinking about you and me and somehow I pushed her right out. It was hell. Thank God it's over." She looked at his hand touching hers.
He kissed her hand then the top of Jade's head. "I'm sorry for not being there. I'm sorry." He whispered. He reached over and placed Jade back in Kim's arms. "I should have been there, but Kim we wouldn't even be apart if you would have just let me explain. I did not..."
Kim swiped Jade's cheek with her thumb. "I don't want to hear it. I believe you." The thought of him trying to commit suicide made her stomach turn. She got rid of the thought immediately. She didn't even want to think about what she would do if he died.
It was pointless for them to be so perfect for each other and yet always fighting. They were always fighting about the stupidest things. Since Jade was in the world, maybe they would be back to normal and have less problems, and have a loving happy family.
As Justin And Kim stared in one another's eyes, speechless, Jade began to cry. "Hush sweetie hush..." Kim mothered. The baby continued to cry.
"What's wrong with her?" Justin asked.
"She's hungry." Kim knew she was hungry because she didn't feed her for very long. She was in such a rush this morning. She tried to use a pacifier to quiet Jade, but it wasn't working.
"Then give her a bottle."
"If you were around. You'd know I haven't gotten her any formula and she doesn't have any bottles."
"What are you doing then? Starting her to death?"
She picked up her things with Jade in her free arm and she got up. "No, I've been breastfeeding her." She said in his ear, walking by him.
He glanced at her abandoned area, then he realized she was leaving. "Where are you going?" He asked walking out of the door after she did.
"I'm going to the car so I can feed MY baby." She opened the door of the new Lexus and sat in the passenger side leaving the door open. She lifted up her shirt quickly and put Jade's mouth to her breast. She grabbed a blanket out of the carrier and covered the baby's face and herself quickly before anyone saw her. Justin just looked on in amazement. "What are you staring at? Yes I am breastfeeding her! Have a problem?"
"No, I don't have a problem." He said just standing and watching. "I just find it amazing my beautiful girlfriend is feeding my beautiful daughter. Notice how the word of the day is 'amazing'." The baby smacked loudly a few seconds. "This is the most unbelievable thing I ever witnessed. Oh and nice car."
"Your not even looking at anything. Well a pink blanket...but you can't see what's going on under it." She smiled at him then looked down at the baby's hand which was balled up into a fist. It was something newborns were known to do. "Yeah and my new car is nice. I like it."
"I cannot believe this. We have a baby. A beautiful little girl, and she looks just like me...just like me. I couldn't be any happier. Jade is my heart. I need her and you!" He took his hat off, only to reveal his hair was braided in zigzags. "So does this mean we are a happy family now? I can't go back to not having you in my life. I can't live without you, Kim. I can't!"
"Unfortunately no." She said looking into his eyes and smiling. He didn't know whether her smile was a real genuine one, or a fake one. "I have a house now. And you have a house. And WE have a baby...what are we going to do about that?"
"House? Where do you live? You have a house?" Justin knelt down close to her in the car doorway and paid close attention to her.
Jade fell asleep eating and Kim slowly pulled her shirt down underneath the blanket. She then stuck her pacifier in her mouth for her absence. "Yeah, I have a house. I told my father off and got several million out of him. I asked him for...two million, I think, but he gave me about six. I guess it was as a gift from him being sorry. SORRY MY ASS!" She looked down at the baby face which still had a blanket covering it. She didn't stir from her rising voice.
"DANG! We'll you really don't need anything. You have a house, you have money. You have your modeling. You have Jade. You have everything."
"I don't have you." She blurted. "Look, Justin. I owe you an apology. I am so sorry for walking out on you, calling you all those names, and for not giving you a chance to explain things. I was just so stuck on what I saw, that I lost my head. Deep down inside I knew you wouldn't hurt me like that. Griffin and I were tying to analyze it, and he was the one that kept telling me, "It just doesn't make sense. Justin would never purposely hurt you like that. He would never cheat on you," I kept denying it, but I knew he was right. Now I know you were tricked by her. I know you were because...I just know, and I'm so sorry. I just hope you can forgive me, Justin. You are the one thing that I don't have and I want you in my life, and so does Jade."
To hear her say her words healed him in a way. And even-though she was holding Jade he pulled her into a hug and held her for the longest time. Their relationship was like a strong piece of thread, but the thread was pulled too hard and broke, but unlike anything it was mended by being knotted back together. "Oh, baby you smell, SO good." Justin moaned in her neck. The area his face was, was becoming moist from his tears.
"You smell good too. You look great, Justin. You look like a million dollars, with legs of course."
He laughed and broke from her grasp. "My eyes hurt you are so beautiful, and Jade...thats my girl. I love you guys SO much. If you didn't call me I swear I would have went crazy. So...you have a house now? Care to invite me over?" His eyebrow raised playfully.
"Sure, I'll invite you over. Right now I've got to get Jade home. She shouldn't be out like this. She's only four days old. And I need to sleep for a few hours. Justin, I never thought...having a baby has a lot of surprises with it, and I don't mean baby shit. Whoa sorry about that little one...anyway." She kissed the sleeping baby that was in her arms on the head. She straitened up the carrier and placed Jade in it. She then opened the back door and reattached the carrier into it's base making it a car seat again.
"You really look like a mother." He said just watching everything she did. "You know, with how careful you are being and everything." He closed the passenger side door for her.
"You act like you have nothing better to do than stare at me." She said, approaching the drivers seat.
Before she could open the door Justin pinned her against the car and gave her a look, as if he wanted to devour her. "I don't."
"Justin, remember you got onto me about being too bold? Look at you. Your looking at me like you are going to take me right here. You are Justin Timberlake. Don't let the fans see you doing this."
"You don't know how happy I am too see you. I mean you have been gone for over a month. That is along time. By the way, I can careless what people think about what I'm doing. Your kind of hard to resist, and your walking around looking dead sexy, I just thought you should know that. Your hair is awesome. You look like a walking goddess, I swear. I just wanna be with you, thats all I want. I want the beautiful creature that you are to be a part of my life." He eased off of her so she could leave. He didn't even kiss her. "Never leave me, Kim. Never hurt me like that again, because my life is worth nothing without you!"
She studied his wandering eyes and since he was so serious she remained serious. She opened the car door and sluggishly sat down. Her body was beginning to ache 'down there' and it wasn't a good thing. The doctor told her to take it easy, and she had done just the opposite. She definitely wasn't suppose to be driving. She started the car up and raised down the window. "Okay I won't leave you like that again." She finally answered. "Justin, I'll call you later on today and give you directions to the house. I'm just so tired. I need to be going."
"Okay, I'll be waiting for that call."
She smiled at him for a brief moment then sped out of the parking lot.
Justin shook his head and sighed in relief. "Thank you God. Thank you God."
Kim looked down at the baby and and stroked the top of her head which was full of tiny blond ringlets. She turned on a stereo which she had in the room and turned on a classical music CD. She placed the volume at a low but accepted level and she looked over the crib once more to make sure everything was okay with Jade. She had her pacifier in her mouth, the monitor was on, she was freshly changed, everything was fine. Kim didn't know what she was doing, but it felt right. She was never really taught how to care for someone else, just herself, so it was a challenge to put those feelings aside and look out for Jade. She was a mother now and somehow, natural, motherly instincts came from her. Being there for Jade was her main priority.
She needed to sleep now. Going out and driving had taken a great toll on her body and she was suffering from more pain, than from before. She over did it. She turned the baby monitor on in her room and as soon as her head sunk in her pillow she fell asleep.
"Kim ,what is going on? What happened to your arm? You have busies all over it."
She pulled her sweater down, which had risen up and exposed her arm. "Yesterday I fell. It was so awful." She lied. She always lied about her cuts and bruises and after years, people still didn't catch on the her being abused. Her father was a millionaire, people didn't think he would be so aggressive behind closed doors. The same went for her mother.
"Oh, well, who are you going to prom with? Every guy in the whole school is planning on asking you I bet. I think you should go with David. He really likes you. You are like one of the most popular girls in school and he is one of the most popular guys in school."
Kim shook her head. "Just drop it, Rita! I'm not going to prom."
"What is wrong with you? Your SENIOR PROM? YOUR NOT GOING? You have to go! You have to. It's like tradition or something."
Kim gathered her binder and bag. "I said I'm not going, and thats THAT!"
She picked at her dinner. "I can't believe you won't let me go." She mumbled with attitude.
Both of her parents looked at her. "Excuse me, young lady?" Her mother managed to ask.
She stood up and pushed her plate so hard that it shattered when it came in contact with the salt shaker. "I SAID I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WON'T LET ME GO! WHY CAN'T I GO TO MY PROM? I WANT TO BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! WHY DO YOU TREAT ME THIS WAY?" She slammed her fist against the table in anger.
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO?" Her mother asked, intimidating her by standing also.
Her father stood up and joined her mother. "YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MIND."
Margret took a fork that came from Kim's plate and then snatched her to her. She held her tight with her arm and placed the fork at the back of her neck. "You watch yourself, Kim. You may think you are cute or whatever and you maybe eighteen, but I AM YOUR MOTHER AND I CAN STILL WHIP YOU!"
Kim held her head high and kept a serious expression on her face. "Go ahead. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO! Kill me if you like."
Her father laughed in the distance. "Sounds good to me."
Kim laughed too. She laughed because she was hurt and didn't care anymore. "Thats right. What is life worth? Not a damn thing! All I ever wanted was for you to love me! That is all, and you couldn't even do that! You have FAILED me as parents and I will never forgive you for it. I will never forget that you DON'T love me..."
Margret had enough of her mouth and scraped the fork all the way down her neck to the base of her back. "You talk all that SHIT about failing you. YOU'VE FAILED US! WE WOULD NEVER LOVE YOU! EVER! YOU HEAR ME?" Kim screamed and cried on the floor, where she ended up. "AND GET THE TABLE AND KITCHEN CLEANED UP!"
Kim sat up breathing as if she ran in a Olympic event. She probably needed to see Doctor Nathan because she was only having more and more dreams from her past, and she hadn't been to him since she moved. Her ears picked up the sound of Jade, not crying, but screaming to the top of her lungs. Her eyes looked upon the monitor which indicated in red the baby was crying. She had to have been crying a long time to be as hysterical as she was. She pulled the covers back and as quickly as she could went into Jade's room. "Oh sweetie, I didn't hear you wake up." She held her small baby to her chest. She would not stop crying. Kim tried to give her her pacifier, but she didn't want it. "What's the matter, Jade? Huh? Please stop crying, baby girl." She sat down in a chair and tried to feed her but she refused her. "Um...what am I doing wrong?" She then looked into her diaper, it was clean. She didn't have a fever, what was wrong with her? "Shhhhhh. Shhhhhh." She tried to do anything to stop her from crying but she was only crying louder and harder. Her sweet cry cracking because her throat was dry. "Jade...I don't know what to do." She tried singing to her. "Can this be true tell me can this be real...how can I put into words what I feel?" It wasn't working! She put Jade back in her crib. "I've failed you haven't I? I knew I would make a horrible mother, and thats it. You don't love me either." She tried to shout over the baby's voice. "I KNEW THAT THIS WOULD HAPPEN!"
She pulled her hair and fell to the ground. " I'M A HORRIBLE MOTHER. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I'M DOING. I'M JUST LIKE HER. I'M JUST LIKE MY MOM! I'VE FAILED YOU TOO." She was crying because she really didn't know what to do. But honestly she was freaking over nothing, her confidence was at it's breaking point and to know that she couldn't get the baby to stop crying just made her jump to conclusions and she gave up.. "I'M A HORRIBLE MOTHER!" Jade began to cough she had been crying so long. "Oh my...oh my...I need some help." She got up and scooped the helpless baby from her crib. "Oh baby I am SO SORRY!" She whispered. "I need to call, Justin."
The very second she said Justin, Jade stopped crying. It had to have meant something because it was just so weird. There was no way a child that was crying so hard, could suddenly stop like that...normally anyway. "Oh my God. But you were just...you want Justin don't you? Either that or just his name comforts you. Amazing." She laid the baby across her chest and rubbed her back because she was having sniffling fits from crying so long. "Come on, sweetie. Come lay down with Mommy."
Before Kim got under the covers of her huge bed she picked up the phone and turned it on to call Justin.
"She said the doors will be unlocked." Justin said cutting his car off and removing his seat belt. He slowly slid off his sunglasses and winced at the house. He was unconsciously shaking his head. "You have GOT to be KIDDING me. This ain't no house! It's a freakin'...automatic opening gate too? What have HERE?" He turned the handle on one of the two front doors. "Dang. This is a nice place she has here." He looked around but his eyes caught the stairs. "A 'spiral' staircase? Cool living room. This is the coolest house. Kim has great taste." He went up the stairs because he wanted to check on her and the baby. She told him she would be in the first room on the right, and she was.
She was sleeping like an angel. He tugged at the covers around her and revealed Jade balled up next to her, holding a piece of her shirt in her tiny fist. It was so beautiful to be looking at them, and it brought tears to his eyes. He placed a humongous vase with three hundred, red, pink, and white roses on her dresser. He tried to remain as quiet as possible because they were both sleeping so peacefully and he didn't want to disturb them.
She was probably sleeping because it took him so long to get to her house. It wasn't because she lived all that far away, but because he had to get some of her things together so she could have them. Some of her clothes and those type of things. Also he had to pick up some things for Jade. All the baby stuff he had was for a boy, so he had to correct that, and get her some things for a girl. So, it was about ten o'clock at night. He left all of the things in the car for the time being. He just wanted to watch Kim and Jade.
He could see Jade moving up against Kim. Her bight blue eyes opened and she looked directly at him.
He froze in place. With the way she was looking at him, he didn't know what to do...except smile.
The little girl smiled back at him and then moved her tiny arm back and forth. It sort of looked like a wave, but he knew it wasn't, she was just testing her abilities. "Oh, you are so beautiful." He whispered. "Hey, Jade." He said softly trying not to wake Kim.
She began crying because she was wet. The crying woke Kim instantly. "Ahhhhhhh, Justin! You sacred the sh...Ohhhhhh my GOD!"
Justin jumped and almost screamed himself. He held his heart. "I'm... so sorry. I...wheeww."
"Ow. I hurt." She mumbled into the pillow. "I hurt so bad."
Justin picked up the crying Jade and when she was in his arms she got quiet and was only whimpering a little. It was clear, this kid loved him to death. She knew Justin was her Dad somehow and she was crazy about him. "You hurt, sweetheart? Do you need anything? I'll take care of Jade. You rest."
She closed her eyes and was fighting to stay awake. "I need to change her probably. I just fed her so...I...need to sleep." She mumbled into the pillow. "Sleep is nice."
Justin rubbed her arm. "Yeah, you sleep baby girl." He looked down at Jade and kissed her. "We are going to have some fun, aren't we? My little, baby girl."
He closed the door behind him and looked in the hall for 'Jade's' room, so he could change her. He passed a room which had just tons of famed pictures hanging up in it. That wasn't her room. Then he saw a painting. He walked into the room and looked around. "Oh my God. This is one hell of a room." The baby had stopped whimpering and was kicking her feet. To be four days old she was very active. "Oops, did I just say hell? Oh no, I said it again. Lets not tell Mommy about that okay?" He laid the baby on the changing table and pulled on the snaps of her pink jumper. This was nothing to Justin. Changing her diaper was nothing. He watched and took care of his little brothers all the time, so he knew what to do when it came to newborns. He not only changed her but cleaned her healing navel with alcohol. "Hey! Hey, Jade!" He played with her fingers and she looked like she was trying to laugh; even stuck out her tongue. He held the baby to him and looked around the room. "Wow! Your Mom is something else, look at this room. You are going to have a ball." Mobiles were everywhere, and teddy bears, toys, and there were shelves of clothes and racks of clothes. The room was one like no other. The most perfect baby room. And then he came across the painting again. Who could have made such a beautiful scene? He read the message which was written on the wall as he rocked with Jade to his chest. "Once upon a time there was a princess named Jade. She was the most beautiful girl in the world, she lived in a beautiful castle, which was always surrounded by a beautiful rainbow. Jade was special. She had a great heart and was caring, smart and sweet. She was good at everything and people were jealous of her great achievements. Most of all everyone loved her, but especially her Mom and Dad. Her parents loved her very much and were always there for her. And always would be, for she was one of a kind, the fantastic, Jade Timberlake." Justin wiped a tear from his eye. He had no idea why he was being emotional. He could tell Kim wrote the mini story. He could tell she painted the picture, just because it was that deep, it was that much emotion into it. "Your mother is the most incredible woman on this Earth, and she's right. We both love you so very much. We love you to death and always will." He whispered to the baby even if she was asleep.
Kim woke up in a panic. It was six o'clock in the morning and Jade was gone. No matter how soar she was she shot of of bed to find her. She could have swore the baby was in bed with her. She didn't take notice to the beautiful roses Justin bought her.
When she enter Jade's room it stunned her to see Justin asleep in a chair with Jade sleeping on his chest. They looked so perfect together. They were both so happy. Justin and his daughter and Jade and her Dad, they looked perfect. Kim never saw this side of Justin before. He seemed so different. So parent affiliated.
She sat down in another chair which was identical to the one he was in.
One if Justin's eyes opened. He closed it and smiled. "Hey, Kim."
She folded her hands. "Hey, I see you are...you are great with Jade."
He slowly sat up and pulled Jade from his chest. She spit up a little on him, in her sleep. "She's wants you, Kim." He kissed her sleeping head. "She's hungry. See, how she is moving her mouth like that? She's imagining she sucking milk."
Kim took her and still she remained sleep. She really was moving with her mouth with her tongue curled up as if she was sucking her. "I haven't fed her since last night. She must be starving."
"I know. I didn't want to wake you since you were sleeping so peacefully. See, if you had some formula I could have made her a bottle but you DON'T since you want to BREASTFEED her." He closed his eyes and kept a sly smile on his face.
"Yeah, I don't want to give her formula. The doctor even said the mother's milk is the best for the baby."
Justin rubbed his nose with his finger. "I know that, but it wouldn't kill her to do half and half. Bottle feed her and both breastfeed her." He rocked in the chair.
"I want the best for her. THE BEST and nothing more. Next time she's hungry and I'm sleeping, wake me up so I can feed her. It doesn't matter how tired I look or seem, okay?" She was about to pull up her shirt but stopped. "Um...Justin can you hand me that blanket that is underneath you?"
He looked sleep but he really wasn't and he pulled the blanket from underneath him and handed it to her. His eyes remained closed. Kim used the blanket to cover up and keep Jade warm and in her sleep she began to eat. That is how hungry she was.
"Feeling, okay?" Justin asked.
Kim didn't understand him. He had this look about his face, that he was going to break down laughing at any moment, and yet he was being so average and casual. "Yeah." She said simply rubbing the fingers of Jade, which was wrapped around one of hers. She hummed softly to the baby. "I'm doing real good."
"The painting is beautiful, you know." His eyes opened so suddenly and so quickly that Kim didn't expect it and it scared her, because for some reason his eyes were looking more blue than usual. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. "You amaze me more and more, every time I am with you. But what you did with the room is outstanding. I really like this house itself. It's huge, but I like it. It's a perfect place for Jade to live."
"Thank you. I like it too. Also, thank you for coming over and doing this. You didn't have to stay up all night with Jade."
He grinned and looked into her marvelous eyes. How could she be so beautiful? How could any human be so beautiful? Not one trace of make up, just had baby, and she was more beautiful now than ever. He did have something to say, but forgot. He forgot what they were talking about altogether, so he just didn't say anything and stared at her.
"Are um...you okay Justin?"
He nodded. "Yup."
Kim giggled. "What's your problem, man? Why are you staring at me like you are crazy?"
He licked his lips. "Maybe because I am crazy." He shrugged. "You know, I told my mom about the baby being a girl and her name being Jade Timberlake. She was crying so hard. And I told the guys too. They want to see the baby SO bad. I told them to hold off for a while. You need to get better first. Don't worry! Don't try to act like nothing is wrong. My Momma got pissed at me. Damn I need to watch my language around her. Too late now, huh? Anyway, my Mom just kinda snapped on me and said I need to respect women more because they go through so much, and she told me what happens before and after birth. She forced me to listen to her and stay on the phone with her for forever. Lets just say...I understand."
Kim just strait up laughed. "Oh, she told you? Ha, I'm glad you understand." It was so nice to have him with her. His stature was so inviting. Justin carried himself well and he was not big headed about it, which was a good thing. He looked more healthy to her. He had muscle in places he never did before and he gained more weight. "And he has an ass now too. God, he is so fine. Him and his sexy braids." Kim didn't know she presented her thought out loud until it was too late.
His face lit up. "Thanks." His smile shown brighter than ever and to keep from laughing, he bit his bottom lip.
Jade woke up. She stopped eating and looked up into Kim's eyes and smiled from behind the blanket. "Aww aren't you just so cute? You are such a precious little thing." She pulled her shirt down and sat Jade up.
"She's going to throw up if you don't burp her." Justin told her adding his two cents in. "If you don't burp her she is going to throw up all over everything."
Kim shook her head. "No she won't. She just woke up. She hasn't eaten for hours why would she throw up?"
He sighed happily. "Women these days. Okay, Kim. Your right. But I was wondering, what's that lovely white stuff you have steaming down that blanket?" He pointed to the area.
She looked down to see Jade had thrown up all over her. "You were right again. What would I do without you, Justin? What don't you know?" She smiled back at the baby who seemed so happy that her eyes was twinkling, and she used the blanket to wipe away the mess Jade had made.
"What would you like for breakfast? I'll make whatever you want."
"How sweet. Um...I don't know. Anything?"
Funny. They seemed to be together. But were they really? They had not kissed once and they were not affectionate like they use to be. Justin didn't know if they were officially together, and Kim didn't know either. They both were too afraid to ask the question so it just remained a wonder. They DID know it was better to be around each other, than not at all.
back to story page index