Chapter 20

Kim pulled the covers back a little. She stared to kiss Justin on his neck to get him to wake up.

He started to stir and laid straight on his back. Perfect opportunity for her, she pulled up her nightgown and crawled over him.

Justin awoke to darkness. "Kim, what are you doing?" She kissed his lips to quiet him. As they kissed Kim slid her hand under his shirt and pulled it up. She let her lips up just a little, to pull the shirt up over his head. "Baby, WHAT are you doing?" She would not answer him.

Justin moved her off of him. "What has gotten into you, girl?" His hand felt down her. Wait a second, it wasn't Kim. "WHAT THE HELL?" Justin scrambled in the sheets and ran to the light switch. "WHAT IS GOING ON?" When the light beamed, he then saw...Britney.

"Damn you ruined my plan." She whispered.

"Oh my God what...what are you doing here? You were trying to..." He ran out of the bedroom, down the steps and into the kitchen. "Oh my God, Kim. She's...she was. I don't know what she was doing but she was touching me and I don't know what to think because I thought she was you and you weren't her because I felt her stomach and then I put her off of me and thank God nothing happened because I didn't know." He was talking so fast that he sounded like a child.

Kim giggled and stirred her macaroni and cheese. "Justin, calm down. Okay, baby? I can't understand a word you are saying."

"Britney is in the bed. OUR bed. She tried to act like you and got on top of me." He pulled her into a hug. "Thank God, Kim. Thank God I didn't fall for her."

She looked up at him and smiled. "'It's okay sweetheart. We both know that bitch is a sicko. All we have to do now is call the cops." She rubbed his cheek. "It's okay, Justin. It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong."

Justin awoke from his dream. It was a good one and yet it seemed like a nightmare. He didn't know how he fell asleep. The bed didn't have any sheets on it, and the house itself seemed haunted. It was eight o'clock in the morning he might as well get up for the day.

He sat up only to realize he was crying. "WHY did you do this to me, Kim?" He hated her but...he still loved her. They were made for each other and he would always love her no matter what. He got out of bed and went to the closet to put him some comfortable clothes on, for he was in his boxers only.

Her things where everywhere. EVERYWHERE! And the more he looked at them, the more he realized he missed her. He slipped a Fubu sweatshirt on and the matching sweatpants and quickly left the closet, because the angel, which was still on the floor, kept staring at him so deeply. It seemed as if it was really her.

He suddenly paused in the hallway. For some reason he had the urge to go in what would have been the baby's room. He opened the door to the room and stood in the doorway of it. As he stood there, he shook. The only way he would be able to cope with her being gone would be to face it. But was he facing it, or hoping about it?

He closed the door softly and put his back to it. "Oh, Kim. I miss you so much, baby girl." It was proof that he really wasn't over her. He was lying to himself all along, and he finally admitted to himself.  He wanted her back.

Before he walked downstairs, he grabbed the plate of macaroni. He placed the plate in the sink, and then opened his refrigerator to see what he had left in it that was eatable. He withdrew a bowl which had aluminum foil on top of it. He lifted the aluminum foil slightly. "What the hell is this? Oh my's green!" With out a doubt he threw the bowl in a near by trash can. "I have to call Cathy. Definitely got to call her." He reminded himself.

Justin put the pot from the stove in the sink, and filled it with water. He looked around for a sign of any more dishes, but all his eyes came across was the Vogue magazine again. With his wet hands he picked up the magazine and flipped it where he could see the cover. He smiled and placed the magazine on the side of the sink, so he could look at it as he washed the few dishes.

He picked up the pot and banged it against the sink to get the hard macaroni out of it, but it wasn't budging.

He tried using a knife but even that couldn't get the food out of it. "How long has this stuff been sitting here?" He banged the pot some more, then the phone rang. "DAMMIT!" He rushed to the phone. "This is Justin speaking."


Justin pulled the phone from his ear and laughed nervously. "Hey, Ma."


"I'm sorry. I really am, Ma. I've been really busy. A lot has been going on. More than you may think."


"I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" He sat down on the couch.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you sweetie. I didn't mean to yell."

He wiped the corners of his mouth. "No, it's okay. I understand where you are coming from."

"How are you, Sugar?"

"I'm doing alright."

"And Kimmy?"

He breathed heavily. "She is okay, I assume." He chose his words carefully so he wouldn't lie to her.

"Thats good. It's a horrible shame I won't be able to be there when she has the baby, but when I get back home in August, Paul and I are going to bring the baby's stuff over. Okay?"

"Okay." He knew it would hurt his mother so much if he told her Kim wasn't saying with him at the time, and it would just kill her to know he tried to commit suicide, so he didn't mention any of it to her. "And how are you?"

He heard her laughing in the background. "O, just having fun, Justin! I love it down here. You and Kimmy should take a vacation to the Bahamas for your honeymoon!"

He tapered with his nose, it was a sign of nervousness. "I'll take that into consideration."

"Okay, baby. I just wanted to see how you were doing, it's been so long since I talk to you last, and I've missed my baby. But your not a baby anymore. Your a man and I understand that." She began to get teary-eyed.

Justin could feel his face burning at the sound of her whimpering voice. "Don't cry, okay? Your going to make me cry."

"Okay, I won't cry. I love you, honey. Bye."

"I love you too. Bye." He clicked the phone off and sighed. Ironically he had no messages on his machine since his long break. He didn't care though, the less messages the better.

Since he was comfy where he was, he cut TV on from where he was sitting. He searched through the channels trying to find something to suit his taste. He kept the TV on The Learning Channel and the show 'A Wedding Story' just happened to be on.

As Justin watched two people explain how madly in love they were, the door bell rang. "Aren't I popular today?" He unlocked the door and opened it slowly.

"Hey, Justin." Natasha waved.

"How did you know...but I didn't tell you where I lived."

She looked around at the outside of his house. "I know. I followed the side walk you told me, and I asked your neighbors for a Justin Timberlake. Your neighbors...they are very rude. Especially the people on the right."

Justin watched her mouth carefully because with her accent, it was very hard to understand her. "Oh, well okay."

"You have these people that were on your lawn, they said something about 'he's back'. I don't get some of the people here. They are like crazy or something."

Justin nodded and grinned. "People on my" He looked outside to see if he saw anyone. He didn't, but he did recognize that his lawn care people were taking great care of his yard and his grass had just been cut, going diagonally, so neatly.

"Anyway, I came here so early because you were very nice yesterday and I thought maybe you could let me know of some shopping I could do."

Alright, he was lost. Her accent made her barely understandable. His eyes widened. "You want me to stick WHAT in you?"

"No. No. Nooooooo! Shopping I could do. I want to get some new clothes. I'm so sorry Jason, I know the way I talk is messed up."

He laughed. "It's okay. And the name is JUSTIN, Natasha, not JASON."

She looked down in embarrassment. "Yes, Justin. I am so very sorry. It's just that my boyfriends name is Jason. He's in Europe and I love him very much. He is the only thing that has been on my mind lately. I'm so sorry, Justin. I'm making such an 'ace' of myself."

He tried not to laugh at her. "Come inside, girl. Say this with me ASS not ACE! Your not doing...too bad, on your English. Don't worry about it."

She stepped inside of the house hesitantly. "So, do you know of and shopping I could do? I just want clothes."

Justin closed the door and looked closely at her outfit. She was wearing a small top and some low cut white shorts with a thong, or a bikini bottom or something that showed a tad bit. It was an innocent outfit and it was more than appropriate for the hot weather. "Well, with your style I'd try the mall."

"Mual? What's a mual?"

"Mall? Shopping center! Group of stores!"

She laughed. "Oh, yeah. I'm so stupid. We have them in Europe. We call them small shops. Damn I have to go now. I'm so embarrassed. I don't want you to see my face."

He lifted her hanging head. "No, don't hide your face. Your new. You can't help the things you don't know about Florida. How old are you, Natasha?" His eyes met with her blue and green ones.

"I just turned nineteen. Why? How old are you?"

"I was just wondering, and I'm twenty-one. You honestly don't know who I am? I mean, do I look familiar to you? Does the word Nsync ring a bell?"


"No, Nsync sweetheart! NSYNC!"

She put her long dark brown hair behind her shoulders. "Nsync...hummm...Nsync. The boy band. Nsync the boy band? Do you know some of the people in the group?"

He laughed. "Unfortunately yes. I am in the group."

She covered her mouth. "Oh, I didn't know. Hehe you are in Nseeenk? Thats why you have this big house!"

He shook his head unsurely and was about to bust out laughing at her. "Yeah. NSYNC!"

There was a pause. "You said you have a boyfriend named Jason, right? And you love him? I know it feels really good to be in LOVE with someone." He didn't know why he brought the subject up. It was just that he wished he could have that feeling back. The feeling of wanting to die just to get a kiss from a special someone.

She tucked her hair behind her ear. "Yeah. I hate to be away from him like this, but I had to move here for a while. I'm not worried about it though, because we are getting married soon."

"You are? Thats cool because I am..." He cleared his throat and his voice grew a notch weaker. "Was...getting married in November."



June 6 2002

"Are you ready, Justin?" Joey asked on his cell phone.

"Yes, I am ready. I'll be waiting outside of my house. All my stuff is packed, I'm just WAITING FOR MY RIDE, WHO IS CURRENTLY TALKING ON THE PHONE WITH ME!"

"Okay. Okay. I GET THE POINT! By the way, Lance and Chris told me to tell you that, while we are on TRL no one will be questioning you about you and Kim, or Kim in the baby. They will warn everyone not to mention anything about you two."

"Good." Justin said into one of his new cell phones. "Okay, see ya in a few. Bye."


In the last few weeks Justin had made a new friend. Natasha. He was so happy he met her because he had a person to talk to who was facing several differences as him. This week he was on edge though, he was mean to everyone and everything. The reason for it was because June sixth was Kim's due date, and it killed him to know she was somewhere either having the baby or about to have the baby. He knew it would be hard for her. And he tried to go to the doctor and get some information, but they wouldn't give him any, because it was against the law. At least she was still in Florida, and he decided when he got back from his four day trip to New York, he was going to put out a search for her. He had to have her back. Every day that passed and every breath he took made him realize he NEEDED her. He needed his son too. He needed all of those things.

Maybe she already had the baby. He would never know, because she was simply gone. In the same state maybe...but gone.


(later that night)

"Kim, you feeling okay?"

She was sitting down on couch with her legs up on the coffee table. She giggled. "I'm fine, Griffin. I'm fine. Just relax, man. The doctor extended my due date."

"I know but he said any day now."

She rubbed her stomach smoothly. "You don't have to stay with me like this. You don't have to make up for Justin's absence." She tried to get interested in the show on TV.

It was Griffin's turn to laugh. "Yeah right. If I'm not here for you, who will be? I'm just trying to be a good friend. Someone needs to be here when you go into labor. I guarantee when you go into labor your going to be asking me to get Justin. I BET YOU THAT. Man, it's been so hard not to drive by and say hi to him. I know that if I did he would be questioning me, so I've just stayed away from him."

She snuggled to a pillow. "I WILL NOT be begging for you to get Justin."

Griffin turned down the volume on the TV when Kim looked like she was trying to sleep. "Yes you will." He said softly.

Kim closed her eyes. "You know Griffin, I love you for all you've done for me. Your an angel. From saving my life to standing by me during my pregnancy. I love you for it. I know Calia misses you, and lately you've been spending more time with me than her. Thank you so much!"

Griffin turn towards her and smiled. "Your welcome. Do you need anything? A massage. A blanket? Some water?"

She yawned. "No, I'm just going to get some sleep. Don't mind me Griffin. You should get some too..."

The-eleven-year-old Kim walked through the large hallway and then knocked on the door of the master bedroom. When she didn't get an answer she opened the door at her own will. "Mommy?" She could see her parents sleeping on the bed. She was slightly scared, but approached the bed anyway. "Mommy?"

He father sat up. "Kim, what the hell are you doing disturbing us? What do you want? Leave your mother alone, she's asleep."

She looked down at her hands. "I woke up this morning and I was...bleeding Daddy. I don't know what's wrong. I was hoping Mommy could help me. I...I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't like blood."

He shot out of bed and took her small hand. "Come here...Kim." He pulled her out into the hallway. "Now what is wrong with you?"

She began to cry. "I woke up and there was blood in my bed, and.."


She cringed at the sound of his rising voice and stopped crying immediately. "I didn't mean to bleed. That is why I wanted Mommy. I think I got a period. They told us about a period in school. I think I'm having mine. Are you mad at me, Daddy? Please don't be mad."


She nodded.


"Nothing!" She answered. "Nothing, Daddy. I wasn't doing nothing. My stomach hurts a little bit. I thought I was going to throw up when I first got up. I need Mommy."

He took her by her hair and pulled her into her bedroom. "No! What you need is your ass beat!" He pulled her comforter back to look at the blood stain. "LOOK AT THIS! THIS HORRIBLE MESS YOU'VE MADE!" He slammed her down against the bed. "THESE SHEETS WILL NEVER SOME CLEAN! Get the sheets off of the bed NOW!"

She was of course crying again, and she quickly began letting up the edges of the sheets. She was not feeling well at all, as a matter of fact, her stomach was killing her. "Oka,y done sir." She mumbled.


"NO!" She kept far from him. "NO! I don't want you. I want MOMMY! I don't want you to look at me."

"KIM ,GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!" Before she could run he grabbed her arm.

"No! You CANNOT look at me. I don't want you to touch me you bastard!"

His face grew red with anger. He was shocked. She never called him a name before.

"At school my teacher said to tell my Mommy if your period is coming on. Your not MOMMY!" She kicked him in the leg. "Get off of me."

He shook his head. "How dare you, you crazed little BITCH! Where did you hear such words? A bastard? YOU CALLED ME A BASTARD?"

The tiny little girl used her free hand and punched him in the lip. It began to bleed. "Your never fair, Daddy. Leave me alone."

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" He let her go and wiped his lip with his hand. "What the fuck? You hit me? You fucking HIT ME?" He struck her to the ground in one hit. Kim didn't know what hit her, but she was on the ground moaning in pain. He then stepped on her stomach putting all his weight on top of her. She gasped because she couldn't breath. "Don't you ever, IN YOUR LIFE, HIT ME AGAIN! OKAY, BITCH?" He spit his blood in her face.

When he got off of her Kim tried desperately to take a breath. But when she finally caught one, he kicked her in her menstruating stomach...

Kim woke up and felt slight contracting in her lower pelvic region. She knew she was going into labor. She looked at her surroundings and realized Griffin had carried her upstairs and into her bed. "Oh my God." She ran her hand over her stomach in a circular motion, she was having a very small contraction but it included a little pain.

She stumbled out of the room and downstairs. She could see Griffin in the distance sleeping on the couch.

She shook him slightly. "Griffin." He didn't move. "Griffin. I think I'm having contractions."

He opened his eyes, sat up, and froze. "Your..."

"Please don't panic. I'm doing alright. It's just a small pain. But I think it's time."

"Okay..." He choked out. "I'm not...panicking...Okay. You have your bag already packed. Okay...not panicking."

Kim giggled to overcome her freight. "Griffin..." She began to say. "Griffin, I'm scared."

Griffin stood up and held her hand. "You can do this Kim. I know you can, girl. Your strong enough. You can do this!" He picked up a bag she had prepared for the hospital. "I just hope you tell me to get Justin for you, because I don't want to be caught being your sidekick with the broken hand."

Another contraction wave hit Kim and she closed her eyes waiting for it to pass. "Umm, hold on, baby girl."

The drive to the hospital was very quick and Kim was staying unbelievably calm. Griffin helped her walk to the front desk of the hospital she was delivering at. She told him to not baby her and that she was fine, so he kept a few feet behind her. She was happy to see an older woman who she  saw before when she was registering at the hospital. "Hi, I'm Kim Miller. I've went into labor..." A contraction came over her again and she breathed it off with her eyes closed.

"Okay, and this your first child, right?"

"Yes," She whispered underneath the pain.

"Who is your doctor?"


The woman pushed some sort of button and two nurses came to her with a wheelchair. "Here miss, take a seat. We are going to take you to the maternity ward..." She signaled her hand for Griffin to come with her.


The room Kim was in was quiet. She was in her gown now and was waiting for the doctor. Her contractions at this point were getting worse. After all the abuse and pain she had been through in her life she felt there was no pain she couldn't handle. She was scared and angry. Scared because everything was new to her and she was bearing a life. Scared because she had unknown feelings inside of her. Scared because she was in a strange place with strangers. Angry because Justin wasn't there, it was as simple as that. The outcome was more scared than angry. And thats when a contraction entered her thoughts. They were getting more intense. She started to feel more pain and pressure. It felt like the baby was pushing without her.

"OooookKKKKKKKahhhhhhhhooooowww. No, I'm okay. I'm okay." She searched for Griffin's hand and squeezed it.

He moved her recently cut hair out of her eyes gently. "You okay, Kim?" He stroked her face. "You don't seem too thrilled. You seem to be hurting. Want me to get, Justin? I could stop by the house and get him; tell him you are in labor. I have this feeling that you really need him right now."

"No, I'm okay." She whispered with a sleepy smile.

The doctor walked into the room. But her could tell by the monitor she was hooked up to, she would be having a contraction soon.

"Hi, Kim. How are you feeling dear?" Dr. Clark asked.

"NOT TOO GOOD!! The contractions SUCK!"

"That is perfectly normal." He looked over at a machine beside her. 'You are six centimeters dilated. We're pushing for ten centimeters. Your doing a great job, Kim. Your moving along quickly..."

She began ignoring him when the pain of a contraction overcame her. She was trying to breath the pain off, just as the breathing instructor told her, and she was closing her eyes to help rid the pain. "Doctor...ahhhhhhh. It's like...I don't know...pushing down..."

He laughed. "You wanted natural, Kim. Try walking around outside in the hallway. Would you like that? It would help cope with some of the pain."

She used one of her hands to hold the bottom of her stomach and the other to hold on to Griffin. She moan and groaned. "Ohhhhhhhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhhh. This really sucks. I don't know what happening. YEAH SURE! I WANT TO WALK! SOMETHING FOR THE PAIN! ANYTHING!"

"Very well. I'll check on you soon." Doctor Clark ordered two nurses to unhook Kim and he left the room.

She climbed out of bed and Griffin took her hand and walked with her into the hospital hallway.

"Kim, I don't think I should be here. Not because I don't want to be, but because I am kinda weak when it comes to 'seeing' certain things. And when you start, like pushing the baby out...well I don't think I would be able to take it. It's just too, YUCK! GRAPHIC!" He followed Kim as she paced quietly.

"Please, not now. NOT NOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!" She held onto one of the rails into the hall and gripped it with all of her might. "Oh my God. Oh my God. Please help me, Griffin. Please help me." She then screamed as loud as she could to notify everyone the pain she was now feeling. Just that quick, her contractions intensified.

"Ka-im I don't know what to do, honey. I'm scared just like you. I'm not Justin. How can I help you?"

She bit her bottom lip to try to control her screaming level. "It's over. No, I'm okay. I'm sorry for screaming at you, Griffin. It's just the pain, it's so unbearable I have to scream. The breathing patterns don't help SHIT! What a waste of money and time."

He rubbed her back comfortingly. "You poor thing. You sure have been through a lot, and now this. Just imagine it though. You will be holding your little girl very soon. And you can sing to her, and put her in that beautiful room you made for her. Your already a great Mommy." He rubbed her shoulders.

She looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you so much. You are truly my best-friend. You know the perfect things to..." She crouched over and held the bottom of her stomach. "OWWW! She's trying to come out. I can't feel it." She closed her eyes and started to bend down towards the ground. "I hate him. I HATE HIM FOR DOING THIS TO ME! ALL THE SHIT I'VE GONE THROUGH!" She screamed for a while longer then grabbed Griffin by his shirt. "PLEASE, MAN! YOU HAVE GOT TO GET, JUSTIN! YOU HAVE GOT TO GET HIM FOR ME. I C...I CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT HIM. I CAN'T! OW! I CAN'T!"

Griffin hearted her. He felt so sorry for her. She was in the most pitiful state of pain. "Okay, I'll get, Justin."

When he contraction ended she pulled the cell phone he took from his pocket and out of his hand and cut if off. "NO! I was just joking. Don't! Don't go get him. Don't call him."

Griffin took the phone back from her and when he cut the phone back on it read battery low and shut off. "Dammit! I'll just drive to the house and get him."

Kim tugged on his sleeve. "PLEASE don't! I'm fine. Please don't leave me, Griffin." She began to walk a little more and suddenly another contraction came. "FUCK IT! GO GET HIM! GET THE ASSHOLE SO I CAN KILL HIM! HE DID THIS TO ME! HE CHEATED ON ME! HOW DARE THAT BASTARD! PLEASE GO GET HIM FOR ME G. PPPPPLLLLLLEEEEAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OOOOWWW baby girl OOOWWW! I'M JUST GOING TO RIP HIS DAMN HAIR OUT!"

Doctor Clark stood before the both of them with a grin. "You sound wonderful, Kim." He said sarcastically. "If the pain gets to be too much, just let me know."

Griffin began rubbing Kim's bent back again. "Come on, Kim. Lets get you back in your bed, okay? You get back to your bed and I'll go get Justin for you. So, you can break his hand and not mine."

"Okay." She whispered softly.

The doctor didn't know who Griffin was, but he could immediately tell he was a great friend to Kim. He looked on as he helped her back into her room.

Before Kim could sit down on the bed, her water broke...


People were circling ice around Kim's lips and shoving ice in her mouth to calm her. She spit the ice out. "I DON'T WANT ANY DAMN ICE!"

There were several nurses in her room now. She lied to herself, nothing could describe the pain. This was the most pain she had ever been in, in her life. "AHHHHHHHH! GET HER OUT! GET HER OUT! AHH MY GOD, SHE RIPPING ME!" Her knuckles turned white from grabbing her pillow so tight. And finally the contraction ended. The last few contractions were so painful, Kim thought she would die. She wanted to just give up, and now she had not support because Griffin was gone because he was going to get Justin.

The doctor walked in the room, the first thing he did was talk to a nurse.

"Kim, how are you feeling?" He asked nicely.

"I need something for the pain. She's tearing her way out. It hurts so bad. Oh, I can feel her tearing me."

The doctor lifted up her gown, and looked between her opened legs. Kim was too tired to show it but she was embarrassed and uncomfortable with the doctor looking at her. But it was normal for him, it was something he made a career of doing.

"Your doing great, Kim. We are trying to make this over as quickly as possible." He told her whispering something to a nurse. He walked over to the machines by her and was checking something.

"MY GOD! Kim, you are dilated to ten. It's time to push, honey. WOW! That was fast!" He demanded a nurse to get him certain supplies.

Kim was more afraid now, people were entering the room with metal objects and bowls and all kinds of things. "Huh? What's going on? I can't push yet."

"You dilated too quickly. You have a contraction coming up. Don't breath it off, push!" Don't be afraid to push while we are getting set up and preparing for your baby. PUSH!"

"I can't! I can't! It hurts too bad."

"Push when your contraction comes. Scream if you need to, but push."

Her contraction came and her baby was already pushing but she didn't pushed and decided to scream instead.

"Come on, Kim. Don't give up now." The doctor had his assistants put some gloves on him, and then a facial mask. He sat down on a rolling stool and took to his position.

Nothing could have prepared her for the pain now. It was like a big bulking thing lodged in her, cutting her insides like knives. "OOOOOWWW!. OH MY GOD, IT HURTS! COME OUT, BABY GIRL! COME OUT! OOOOOOWWWWWW." Her screamed echoed through the hall.

Two nurses grabbed a hold of her legs. Two more grabbed each of her hands. The doctor raised her gown back, moving it out of the way.

"Your doing a great job, Kim. But you've go to push! You have to try harder!"

"I CAN'T!" She moaned. The world around her was becoming fuzzy. She was feeling really weak.

A contraction was coming. She felt arms push her back to sit her up and others pushed her legs back.

"And push....1...2...3...4...5...6...7 Kim your doing wonderful.. 9...10. Breath in and again 1...2..."


The pain was too much. Kim's screams were deafening. People fought her and tried to make her calm, but she started to kick and the people who were holding her legs had a struggle. Her contraction ended and her limp body rested against her pillow.


"She's out of control." a nurse shouted to the doctor.


"I know it hurts, honey. But you've got to push. Do it for your baby. Her heart rate is dropping slightly because of the tremendous amount of stress your causing on your body. The baby is going into distress."

She thought about his words. "BUT SHE'S CUTTING ME! OH, HELP ME GOD!"

The nurses once again sat her up and she squeezed their hands. She held her breath and bared down putting her chin to her chest. Nurses pushed her legs back really far.

"Thats it, Kim...4...5..6..7..8..9..10."


"Breath in, and again and 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10. And breath out."

She was slowly laid back down against her pillow.

"Great job, Kim. I really felt the baby move on those pushes...great job."

"Ooooohhhhh.Oohhhhhh, this totally sucks. Ohhhhh." She softly moaned under her breath. Nurses tried to put ice in her mouth again. "I SAID I DON'T WANT ANY FUCKING ICE. DAMMIT! I DEMAND YOU GET THE THING OUT OF ME! RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"

Once again she was forcefully sat up. She felt the contraction and pushed. The pain was getting worse she could really feel the baby moving her way out.

"OOOOUUUUUCHHHHH. PLEASE... GET IT OUT. THE PRESSURE! GET IT OUT!" She screamed as she continued to push.

"Thats it, Kim! THATS IT, SWEETHEART! THAT A GIRL!" She pushed as hard as she could. "Your baby's head is crowning. Her head is crowning, Kim."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The doctor had stopped counting but the nurses continued to count to ten in the background.

Griffin came entering the room. He ran by Kim's side and picked up her hand. "Kim, I know your in the worse pain, but Justin is not home. He was not home. I'm SOOO sorry, Kim."

She looked over at him and nurses wiped her sweaty head and tried to catch her breath. "It's okay." She gave him the most innocent tone of voice that it made her seem the sad way. She sounded as if she was defeated, or had lost the battle with life.

She was sat up once again. And she held and squeezed Griffin's hand so hard, his bones were crunching.

"YOOOOWWW! I kinda wanted to be keep my hand. I THINK IT'S BROKEN! OH, FUCK! YOU BROKE MY HAND FOR REAL" He exaggerated.


"Thats it, Kim. The head it coming out. THE HEAD IS COMING OUT!" The doctor urged, concentrating on his job seriously.

"Can I take a look?" Griffin asked, wanting to see the head. Without getting an answer he looked down at Kim. His hand dropped from hers. "Holy mother of God!" His eyes rolled in the back of his head and he passed out. Luckily, a nurse was by him and she caught him, and removed him by dragging him from the room. A passed out person would do no good in a delivery room.

"GRIFFIN, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU SOLD OUT! YOU PUNK!" She continued to scream from the excruciating pain.

"Alright, Kim. The head is out. THE HEAD IS OUT, SWEETIE. She has a full head of hair. Curly hair!" He told her. She could hear the doctor suctioning out the mouth. "Just stop pushing and relax. Okay, Kim? Honey, you are doing wonderful!"

She dropped to her pillow once again. "Please doctor. Just pull it all the way out. PLEASE! Get it out! Get it out! Get it out! Get it out! Oooooooooooo. Ooooooooooo. IT'S BURNING AND I THINK I'M RIPPING!"

"Okay, Kim." He told her. "Push, but not too hard. Just give me a little push and she's going to pop right out."

The side nurses sat her up again. People that were waiting to tend to the baby were cheering her on from the side. They were clapping, some even crying with her, shouting' you go girl', all kinds of supportive things. And then she pushed. She pushed just like he said without too much pressure. She screamed, and squeezed, and shouted, and cursed, and finally some huge wave of relaxation struck her. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. Her back slowly fell to the pillow of the bed, and she looked around dazed.

"AND IT'S A GIRL! WE ALREADY KNEW THAT, BUT STILL!" The doctor shouted. He cut the umbilical cord and handed the baby to the assistance that were to clean her up. "Take a breath, Kim. You can relax now. The hardest part is over."

Kim could now hear her whimpering. "My baby, where is she? Jade?" She pushed the tears from her cheeks away. "My baby, I can hear her."

Quickly the nurses checked the baby and bundled her up.

"Here's your baby. Five pounds and two ounces. She's tiny. Thats perfectly normal in the first birth. She was born at four-sixteen in the morning. Here you go! She's gorgeous." A nurse handed her the baby.

There she was. Jade. The most beautiful creature on the Earth. Kim discovered a whole new world. The baby was indeed tiny, it only took one arm to hold her. She was the most beautiful baby EVER. She couldn't hold back the tears. "Your my, baby girl. I've been waiting for you. You hurt...A LOT." She laughed as she whispered to the baby. "But it's all worth it." She tried to keep from crying too hard but when she looked at the baby's features, she started to cry hysterically. She looked just like...Justin. She had his nose, his eye shape, his plump red lips, his head shape, his ears, the eyebrows, and the classic curly hair. The only evidence of her features in the baby were her eyes. She had Kim's bright blue eyes, and they shown like blue diamonds. It hurt so much to see the baby because she was so perfect and her father was not there to see her. Jade looked Kim directly in the eyes and sure enough, cracked a small smile. "Hey, baby girl." She whispered sucking up her overjoyed emotion. Kim cried even harder when the baby wrapped her tiny and fragile hand around one of her fingers. "Oh, I love you too." She told her, kissing her on the head. She rubbed the baby's face against her wet with tears cheek.

A nurse walked up to Kim. "We need to take the baby and wash her up and check her more thoroughly. And you still have a placenta to push out."

Kim tried to contain herself . She wiped her eyes sniffled. "O...okay." She handed her the baby hesitantly.

"She is so beautiful. Does she have a name?"

"Her name is...Jade."

"What a beautiful name. She looks like a Jade." The woman said walking off with her baby.

Dr. Clark walked over to her and smiled. " I think you did an amazing job. Not only did you have natural child birth, you had it in your first pregnancy ever. Your young and you weighed only 131 pounds while being nine months pregnant. You are a very small and petite woman, so labor was probably more painful for you than usual. You did great! Now all you have to do is push the after birth out..."


*that same morning but a few hours later*

Kim had learned and experienced a lot in her pregnancy. She was happy the labor was over. It was truly the hardest part. And the after birth... that was just gross in her opinion. Jade was silently sucking her breast. Kim looked down at her baby and stroked her hair. She was so precious. Nothing in the world meant more to her that her baby right then...nothing.

She heard a knock at the door and it opened. A nurse named Joan entered the room. Quickly Kim took Jade from her and covered herself up.

"Oh, no don't, honey. It's nothing I haven't seen. Feed your baby, it's your time together. " She gave Kim a baby blanket and put it over her chest so she would feel less self-conscious. "I'm just here to check your IV, sweetie. Do you think you can hold some food down? If so, I'll bring you some breakfast."

Kim lifted the baby's head so she could eat more comfortably. "Um, I think I can hold some food down. I'm starving."

As she left the room, Griffin and Calia came in, with a ton of pink balloons and pink roses.

"Oh my God. KIIIIIMM!" Calia ran over to her side. "How are you, Kim? Are you okay, girl?"

She smiled and held Calia's hand. "I'm better. Put it that way."

"Griffin told me he fainted. Oh he is such a wuss. Awww and your feeding her right now. How precious!" Calia picked up the blanket to catch a little peek of the baby. "Oh my GOD! SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE JUSTIN!"

Griffin ran to where Calia was, to look. "SHE DOES LOOK JUST LIKE JUSTIN!"


"Don't worry about it, girl. It's natural."

Griffin pulled Calia into a hug from behind and pulled her close, kissing her on the neck. "Yeah. It's natural."

"You both are so cute together. And Griffin." She shook her head and couldn't help for a tear to fall. "Thank you for ATTEMPTING to be there when I was having her. You don't know how much it means to me. You will never know..."

Three days later.

She walked through the doors of her house and sighed. She told Griffin that she did not want him to stay and watch her. It was caring of him to offer, but she needed time alone with Jade. "Were home, baby girl." She placed her bag on the floor. The first thing she did was, she went up stairs and placed Jade in her soft, warm crib. The room was perfect for her. It described Jade in every way. She was so beautiful it seemed she wasn't real.

Kim's body was very soar and was still healing from when she gave birth. She took a quick shower, made sure the baby monitor was on and laid down and went to sleep.

On the electronic box of a monitor Kim could hear the baby crying. She had been sleep for about two hours.

"I'm coming, Jade. I'm coming, baby girl." She picked up the small baby and held her to her chest. "What's the matter?" She could tell she needed a diaper change.

She placed Jade on a changing table and carefully and cautiously changed her. She was being extremely careful around Jade's unhealed navel. It didn't take much to clean her small diapers. "There you go. Feel better?"

She scooped Jade up in her arms and brought her into her bedroom. She sat on her bed and un buttoned her shirt. "Wow you must really be hungry." She said as she watch the baby drink her milk. Kim never imagined that at nineteen she would have a baby, and a baby by JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. She couldn't believe Justin hadn't seen the baby, the beautiful baby she was feeding and holding. She couldn't imagine not having her. "Jade, your father should know about you. I'm going to call daddy, okay? So he will know you are okay. He has the right to know that much." Besides she missed him. She reached over and grabbed the cordless phone in reach. Jade lost her place for a second and quickly found it again. "Maybe he is...ACTUALLY HOME THIS TIME!" She stroked the baby's face to keep her from crying from her shout.

Chapter 21

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