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Chapter 11

She was loosing it emotionally. She tried to breath but was so overjoyed she couldn't. "Justin? JUSTIN?" She fell to her knees and cried in her hands. She didn't do that for too long because she then crawled over to his, throbbing with pain, body. She leaned over him and looked down at his face. He was biting his lip. "Is it really you?" She touched his face with her hands trying to see if she was dreaming. She then kissed his cheeks. "Justin, baby? OH MY GOD! Your home? What are you doing here?"

"Hey, baby girl." He said in a moan.

He was crying, and she didn't know if he was crying because he was happy to see her...or because she kicked him. She felt dumb now. She could see the whole plan and the whole ordeal. Justin sent her that blank e-mail because it was a hint. He was at the door with a pizza, but it was obvious he must have picked it up when he got a ride from one of the guys. He wasn't even dressed like a pizza man. He was dressed like...well, he was dressed like Justin. She didn't understand why she didn't notice him from the start. Why was he home early?

Justin sat up and got up off of the floor. "I'm okay." He struggled to say though his tears. "Don't worry about the kick. Stand up, baby. So I can hold you." He tugged at her hand and her whole body lifted up, and she fell into his warm arms. "I've missed you so much." And he squeezed her tighter in the hug.

When she smelled his infamous Abercrombie 'Woods' she cried uncontrollably. She was crying so hard that she was just overwhelmed with shock.. "Jussssstttttiiiiiinnnnnnnn." She cried into his jacket. "JJJJUUUUSSSTTTIIIINNNNN!"

He placed his face deeper into her neck. "Yeah...it's me, honey. It's me."

Holding him wasn't enough she wrapped her arms on his neck and pulled herself on him. Wrapping her legs around him.

He held her steadily. "Oh, Kim. It's been too long. It's been way too long." He just broke down and placed his head between her neck and shoulder, and held her as they both cried.

They loved each other so much that it hurt to look at one another after such a long period of time.

After a good five minutes of crying Justin raised his head. "Look at me, Kim. Look at me, baby. So I can see your eyes." When she raised her head and looked at him, he shook his head and swallowed some of the tears that feel into his mouth. "YOU are the most beautiful thing on this Earth." He put her down so he could wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry I had to go, baby. I'm sorry I had to hurt you so much." He cupped her cheek. "I'm sorry."

She was having trouble speaking because she was still over-coming shock. "Don't be sorry."

Justin wiped his eyes and was trying to stop crying himself. "Don't cry baby. Don't cry."

She was shaking with happiness. "I love you so much, Justin. Nothing means more to me than this moment right now." She whispered. She overlapped her fingers with his.

Justin didn't break the finger contact, but he stepped back and opened her robe a little. "Oh my GOD, look at you. I thought you were perfect before. You really are perfect now. You don't look anorexic anymore, you look perfect. Nothing is too big, nothing is too small, your perfect." His eyes glimpsed at the bare skin portions he was able to see. They trailed up her body, and his eyes met her lips.

Finally, after two months he kissed her on the lips and an explosion happened. The kiss sent both of them into a frenzy. And there was no stopping the urge. They were crazy for one another, but they were also hungry for one another.

Justin controlled the movement of the kiss with his jaw. Kim controlled the intense suction. She was moaning and couldn't stop because his touch was so pleasurable.

Justin broke away from her. He put his finger to her lips and smiled. "Lets slow it down a bit, we have the rest of our lives."

Kim giggled. "I'm so happy right now, Justin." She forgot she was all wet and she had dampened him some. "Look at this place. Look at me. I wasn't expecting anyone over. I need to go change. I'll be back."

She attempted to walk away but Justin wouldn't let go of her hand. "No! Don't go anywhere. Don't change!" He finally released her hand, but only to take her robe off. He pulled it off of her shoulders and let it fall to the ground. He couldn't take his eyes off of the red bikini and what it did for her body.

She crossed her legs standing when she she saw his eyes wandering. "I got my hair cu, Justin."

He looked up at her head quickly. He didn't even notice. "Huh? You WHAT?" He tucked her shortened hair behind her ear and watched as the ends of the strait strands bent upward. "Kim, you cut your hair. AND I LOVE IT TO DEATH! You know what you look like? A god. I swear you don't look like any human on this Earth." He couldn't keep his hand out of her soft hair.

Kim blushed because she missed how he would look at her and just go on and on about how beautiful she was. "Oh stop it." She said bashfully. Strangely, she started crying again. "Justin I...I just can't believe you are home. My heart. My God! My heart!"

Justin ran his hands through her hair once more then took a step back. "What are you?" He turned his head to the side and thought. "What are you, Kim? There is nothing wrong with you...that can't be. Do you understand you truly are perfect."

She looked down at the ground. "Stop saying that. I am not perfect." Before she could say anymore he kissed her. His lips were so sweet and his kiss was so sensational, but something else caught her interest. The pizza. She ended the kiss. "You brought pizza Justin. Let me guess you and one of the guys picked it up, and one of them dropped you off."

Justin nodded. "Thats exactly what happened. I'm guessing your hungry. Maybe it's still warm..."

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Justin and Kim were both sitting down at the bar stools in the kitchen area. They were just catching up for lost time. Kim was eating her fifth piece of pizza and Justin was only on his second. For some reason he was nervous about being back home. Happy, but nervous. "Um...Kim are you okay?" He never saw her hold down five pieces of pizza.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She used a napkin and wiped the tips of her mouth. "I'm really sorry for kicking you earlier. I was only being defensive though. If you didn't try that little joke of yours you could have saved yourself some pain. What's the deal anyway, Justin? I thought you had one week left of touring."

He put his half eaten pizza back on his plate, he wasn't going to eat anymore of it. "Don't worry about it. I'm okay. And I lied. I feel so bad. I'm sorry. I swear it is the only time I ever lied to you...that and when I said I didn't make out with the tree at Lance's party. Other than that I've always been totally honest with you. I'm so sorry for lying baby. I had to, so you wouldn't suspect anything about me 'sneaking on over'."

That was it? He was apologizing to her because of simple things like that. She couldn't imagine how he would feel to find out she had been lying to him about almost everything going on for the past six months. She stopped eating and felt like she was going to be sick. "Don't be sorry ,Justin. Don't say that." She really felt like she was going to be sick. She took a sip of her Coke.

Justin reached over and blew in her ear. "I've missed you so much." His breaths caused her to get goosebumps.

"I've missed you too." She said shivering. She looked into his eyes and looked at the most amazing man on the face of the earth. Justin looked so much more healthy. He had more color to his face and was...tan for once. His lips were bright red and plum and most of all his eyes show bright in appearance. He was back and once again they were alone...

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March 11, 2002 (next morning)

Justin moved a little closer to the sleeping Kim. She was breathing so slowly, and she seemed to be in a very deep comfortable sleep. He pulled the sheet down, all the way to the lowest of Kim's back; until he saw a light rim of her black underwear.

Her skin looked so golden in the sun light and he couldn't help but touch it. He slid his finger up and down her completely bare back. He felt her shiver and them moved up even closer to her. He could tell that she was awake because of her breathing pattern increased. "Kim...how come you've been beaten up your whole life, but you have not a scar on you. Your skin is so clean."

She shifted a little. "I don't know. God has just blessed me, and I've always healed nicely." She mumbled sleepily.

He continued to run his hand up and down her. "He sure has blessed you. And me too." He kissed her shoulder. "Last night was amazing. I liked the music in the bedroom too. I can't believe I'm touching you right now. This is unbelievable."

Kim turned around with the sheet held tightly against her chest. "It was amazing." She closed her eyes and smiled. "This is it. I don't need anything else to make me happy, having you laying by me. I thought that while you were gone I wouldn't be able to take it. But you leaving has made me a bit stronger."

He stared at her closed eyelids. "Yeah you seem stronger. I mean while we were...you know. You weren't screaming to the top of your lungs you were doing lots of something else."

A smile crossed her face and she push his shoulder. "JUSTIN! We aren't going to talk about this." Still she had not opened her eyes.

Justin closed his eyes because Kim looked so comfortable it made him feel comfortable. "Yeah...I'm the screamer now." He laughed and she did too. "Tonight is our final show and you have a ticket to go. I want you to come."

"I will." She said dreamily. "I wanna see how well you thrust on stage."

Justin grinned. "I can show you how well I can thrust right now."

Kim giggled even though she was half asleep. "No thanks. I had my Justin serving already."

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One week later. March 18, 2002

"Hey, all of you come here. " JC said talking to Chris, Joey, and Lance. He led them into the area of the dining room. They all took a peek into the room from the mahogany sliding doors. "Look at them. Look at how he has her propped against the wall. I think they are about to do something."

Chris observed Justin and Kim kissing. "No, they are just making out."

"Oh my God do you see where his hand is? Justin ain't so young and innocent anymore. Damn he's rubbing her legs so intensely." Joey beamed.

"You guys are SO SICK. Give them privacy." Lance said pushing Chris over so he could get a better look. "Dang! They are beyond the love bird phase."

JC jumped he was so giddy. "Whoa man, you see his jaw? That is some seriously lips action. GO AHEAD JUSTIN! DAMN!"

Chris pulled all of the guys away from the door. "Let them have their privacy. They are doing nothing more than getting back what they lost for two and a half months.

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Justin finally broke away from her. His lips were so red and irritated from the everlasting kiss. "What a nice kiss, baby girl." He let her legs down and her feet touched the floor.

"That was nice." She held his hand. "I'm so happy to have you back."

He smiled and kissed the corner of her mouth. "I'm happy to be back. I think we better get back out there and watch the game, before the guys send out a search party for us. Besides I've got five hundred bucks on Chicago." As he walked to the door Kim's body followed because she was still attached to him.

When they entered the living room they received strange stares. "What?" They both asked at the same time. No one said anything.

Kim sat down on one of the couches. There was no one sitting on it. Justin sat next to her but he laid his entire body across the couch and he placed his head in her lap. "Do that thing you do with my hair." He told her.

She placed her hands in his scalp and massaged it. Justin kept his eyes on the TV screen as she did this.

"Oh will you just take it to the bedroom?" Joey asked, frustrated with their touchy feely behavior.

Justin ignored Joey he even kissed Kim's thigh.

Kim was not all that interested in basketball. She was only watching it with Justin because he loved it so much. She became extra nervous when the baby started to kick. Still she had not told him she was pregnant. She hid all the baby things from him and just became more secretive. She knew why she hadn't told him by now. She was scared. She was scared because he went on and on about being honest and truthful and it slowly broke her confidence down. The kicking intensified. The baby kicks were so strong she could she the bump from it's foot or hand or whatever it was.

Justin looked up at her with the most adorable and sweet smile. "Baby, you hungry? I'll fix you something to eat if you are."

She stopped massaging his scalp. "Um...no. Why would I be hungry?"

"Because your stomach is making weird noises." He placed his hand on her stomach. "It's like bubbling. What the hell?" He giggled and his head sank deeper in her lap.

She removed his hand. She couldn't tell him now. Not in front of all of his friends. "Yeah, it just happens sometimes. Uh Justin, would you please sit up? I want to go upstairs." He picked his head up and she slipped from underneath him. "Thanks."

"Umhumm." He slapped her on the butt as she walked by. "Lookin' good sweetheart. Lookin' good."

She smiled at him but was not happy, and walked upstairs.

When she got upstairs Kim walked into the closet and took out one of the three bags she had filled with baby clothes. She took out a tiny yellow jumper and walked over to the bed with it and looked at it. "Why can't I tell him about you, baby? I'm such a horrible mother. I'll always be a horrible mother. I don't know what to do with myself. I've fu...messed up so bad. I'm sorry, baby. Really I am." She was surprised she was not crying. She wasn't crying because she didn't feel too sorry for herself."

The baby was kicking away and rubbing her stomach only made the baby more active. "Whoa little one. Whoa. What have I done to you to make you have a fit like this?"

The bedroom door started to open up. Quickly she put the piece of baby clothing behind her back.

"Baby...are you okay?" Justin asked.

She nodded frequently. "YEAH! YEAH! I'm totally fine." She said suspiciously.

"Oh okay. Well I'm looking for my diamond necklace. The one that I've had for several years."

She shrugged with her hands still behind her back. "Yeah? Well, I don't know where it is."

He put his hand on his side. "Kim, you had it yesterday! Remember? You said you wanted to wear it, to look ghetto-fabulous or something like that."

She could tell he was getting angry. "I But I don't know where it is, Justin."

He raised his hand in the air. "Wait a second. Are you telling me you lost my necklace? I NEED IT! I NEED TO SHOW JC SOMETHING! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT DAMN THING WAS?" He began to throw things from the dresser onto the floor in search of his all diamond necklace. "I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD LOSE IT, AND THEN JUST SIT THERE AND NOT EVEN HELP ME FIND IT!"

She stood up and kept the jumper behind her back. Now that he was pissed she might as well tell him. "Justin, may I talk with you? I have something I need to tell you! It's important!"

"I don't want to talk to you right now. I'm pissed the FUCK OFF!" He turned around. "MY ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR CHAIN IS MISSING! THERE IS NOTHING THAT WE CAN TALK ABOUT THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY NECKLACE!" His eyes were blazing.

Kim scrunched her face. "OH NO YOU DIDN'T! Okay, Justin I'm sorry I misplaced your necklace, but that gives you NO right to YELL and scream at me like that. I won't tolerate that. You can't talk to me that way!" She put her finger in his face with one hand still behind her back.

Justin moved his face in closer to hers. He clenched his teeth. "SHIT! YOU THINK I'M YELLING NOW? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! YOU NEED TO FIND MY NECKLACE LIKE NOWWW! OR SOME SERIOUS SHIT IS GOING TO GO DOWN! MY MOTHER HAD IT CUSTOM MADE FOR ME! YOU BETTER FIND IT! I'M NOT KIDDING!"

Now he was hurting her feelings. She felt like she was losing the yelling battle with him. He was being so mean. He never disrespected her so much. She never saw him so mad before. "Oh yeah? WELL I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU TOO! I'M PREGNANT, JUSTIN." She took her hand from behind her back and waved the baby outfit in front of his eyes. "You got some damn NERVE! CURSING AT ME LIKE YOUR CRAZY! Well top that, Justin. I'M PREGNANT!"

Why did he feel like he was going to pass out? "YOUR WHAT?"

She was hyped up and upset now. "YOU HEARD ME!" She threw the yellow jumper in his face.

"YOUR WHAT?" He froze and swallowed harder than he ever did before. "Your...pregnant?" He looked around the room for a sign. Any sign.

"Ding, ding! You should get your trophy in six to eight weeks. I thought you would have caught on by now! Didn't you get the SIGNS? Thats right! I'm pregnant. SIX MONTHS! ALMOST SEVEN!"

He felt betrayed in some way. "SIX MONTHS? What the hell? What is your fucking problem? ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING? WHY DIDN'T YOU GET RID OF IT? DON'T YOU KNOW THIS RUINS EVERYTHING FOR ME?"

She was trying to cope and deal with his absurd behavior, but she didn't expect him to be so horrible and selfish. She completely snapped. "How DARE you? HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT? Get rid of it?" She stepped up in his face. "I'm going to kick your ass." She pushed him up against the wall. "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT? This baby had nothing to do with the choices we made. YOU or I don't have the right to take it's LIFE away. WE don't have the PRIVILEGE to take it's life away! How dare you say that?" She pushed him again. "HOW DARE YOU, JUSTIN?"

She may have been upset, but he was hurt. He was not just shocked, he was hurt that she had kept it from him for so long. "HOW AM I suppose to feel? You lied to ME! YOU LIED TO ME! I WOULDN'T BE AS MAD NOW OR FEEL AS BAD IF YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME EARLIER! BUT YOU KEPT IT FROM ME FOR SIX MONTHS THEN LIED TO ME? How could you keep something like this away from me? Don't you know this changes everything? YOU KEPT SOMETHING THIS IMPORTANT FROM ME? HOW COULD YOU? YOU LIED TO ME, KIM. When I asked you were you pregnant a few months ago you said NO! The bleeding? YOU LIED TO ME!" He shook his head and started to cry. "I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!"

They both heard a knock at the door. "Is everything okay in there?" Chris asked.

"Yeah! Just go away, man." Justin answered, giving Kim a disgusted look. Chris went back downstairs.

"I'm sorry for lying, Justin. I didn't tell you because I was scared. I was scared you were going to react the way you are now."

"Oh, come on. YOU ARE ONLY SIX MONTHS PREGNANT! I AM ONLY IN THE GROUP NSYNC! WE ARE ONLY GOING TO BE PARENTS SOON!"

She stomped her foot. "Your acting like I got myself pregnant! You had some input too! BELIEVE IT OR NOT! We have to deal with our mistake. We have to  move on because there is nothing we can do now except accept the baby." She was so surprised that he was angry with her. She was hurt too. He wasn't suppose to be acting like this.

"I can't believe this. The whole time we were fucking you were pregnant? Isn't that like NOT RIGHT? UGH I cannot believe all this SHIT!"

His words were causing her heart to ache. This built up more anger inside of her. She grabbed his shirt and slammed him against the wall. "FUCKING? Is that what you call it now? You never called it that before. What happened to the word LOVE?"

"You need to stop hitting and pushing me! DON'T YOU SEE? WE WILL NEVER BE GOOD PARENTS! YOU SHOULDN'T BE HAVING ANY KIDS! YOU WILL NEVER BE A GOOD MOTHER! YOU CAN'T EVEN CONTROL YOURSELF. LOOK AT YOU! YEAH THAT'S WHAT YOU NEED, A BABY SO YOU CAN ABUSE IT JUST LIKE YOU WERE ABUSED!"

What he said stabbed her in the heart like a dagger. For the first time ever, Justin had hurt her more than any physical abuse ever could. If he could ever say anything to make furious, this was it. To top it off he tore all of her confidence away when he said she would NEVER be a good mother. Her hands released his shirt. "I can't believe you said that, Justin. I can't believe you said that." She took a step back away from him. "NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME! I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CONTROL MY ACTIONS! BUT I KNOW ONE THING FOR SURE. YOU OR I WILL NEVER HIT THE BABY! YOU UNDERSTAND ME? NEVER!"

She took several more steps back. She could feel the tears trying to break through her eyes. "I thought you were better than this! Your not a real man." She waved her head. "Your just a BOY with a BIG DICK!" Justin eyes widened. She step back again. She was distancing herself to help control her anger. "I SUGGEST YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS ROOM BECAUSE I AM SO FUCKIN' MAD RIGHT NOW...JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

She looked so...demolished. He didn't really know what he had done or said to her. But she was destroyed.

"I SAID GET OUT!"

He looked down at her stomach. She was having a baby? She lied to him, kept a major secret from him, and he was going to be a father...just like that? "Okay. I'm leavin'. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LIED TO ME KIM! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" He continued to stare at her stomach until he exited the room.

 


Chapter 12

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