Chapter 9 - Part two
~~~~~~~** Mid December**~~~~~~~~
I looked up at the large tree and shook my head from the couch. How it got into the house is beyond me. But what I’m worried about is how Justin is actually going to decorate it. I can’t help because I’m just too weak to do anything right now. When the doctors reduced my dosage of my therapy I felt better but it wasn’t doing anything so the doctor upped the dosage and now I have no energy at all to do anything ever. I had my treatment two days ago and Justin still has to carry me down the stairs. it’s awful. I’ll be glad when January comes around and I take the last treatment. I heard something crash to the ground and then some cuss words. I laughed softly and looked over the back of the couch. Justin walked around the corner with three boxes balanced in his arms.
“WHat happened,” I said quietly. He sat the boxes down on the floor and smiled at me.
“I dropped one of the boxes,” he said grinning. I shook my head and picked up a stack of pictures and flipped through them slowly. The night that we made up after that whole stripper incident, Justin had decided to make a scrap book of his life for his mom and since I can’t do anything I offered to flip through some pictures for him. He was working on the part about me and Jaden and I was doing the early years basically. I was just sorting pictures. He won’t let me glue or anything cause then it won’t be from him so he keeps it locked in his trunk so I won’t go look at it or anything. He’s such a dork, like I’m going to run down the street with all the extra energy I have built up and tell Lynn what he’s doing. He kissed my head softly and pushed some of my curls out my face and smiled. “How you doing,” he asked quietly. I smiled weakly and looked up at him.
“I’m doing,” I said softly. He kissed my forehead again and rubbed at the dark circles under my eye softly.
“You need some thing,” he asked. I shook my head no. “Ok,” he kissed me again as the doorbell rang. i took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I blew it out.
“Who’s that,” I said quietly. He fixed the blanket around me and moved my pillows up some.
“The guys and Dani and Bobbie. They’re going to help decorate. Jaden is with my mom,” he said. I chewed on my lip and nodded. he smiled.
“Ok sexy man,” he took the pictures off my stomach and dropped them in the box beside me. He picked it up as he walked to the door. A loud round of hellos and what’s ups echoed from the front door. I closed my eyes and tried to prepare myself for the conversation and talking I was going to have to endure for the day.
“Is she asleep,” a soft voice asked.
“No,” Justin said. “Hey sweetie. They’re some people here to see you,” he said his voice so comforting. I slowly opened my eyes and smiled weakly.
“Hey,” I said and smiled at Dani. I could look in her eyes and tell that she was holding back emotion. I haven’t seen neither Dani or Bobbie since I was in the hospital. “Don’t cry. I’m ok,” I said sweetly. She nodded and chewed at her lip. Bobbie reached down and rubbed my forehead softly.
“It’s so good to see you again. how are you,” she asked. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
“I’m ok. Today is just one of my bad days right baby,” I said and looked at Justin. he was opening one of the boxes in the chair.
“Oh you guys should have been here yesterday. She was cleaning the shy lights and moon walking across the kitchen floor,” he said joking. I threw one of my little pillows at him. it took all the energy I had but it nailed him in the head. Everyone laughed and he picked up the pillow and walked back to me. He smiled as I started wheezing softly. he propped it up under my head and touched my nose with his finger. “Don’t you get too excited now,” he said grinning. I smiled as I tried to catch my breath.
“Always the center of attention,” I said quietly. He smiled and reached over picking up the inhaler I was prescribed two days ago. I got a cold and because my immune system is so weak it makes it even worse which is why this last treatment was so hard on me and i couldn’t just bounce back like I used to. I took a puff on it and closed my eyes allowing the medicine to take effect. I felt Justin’s lips on my forehead and I smiled. “Why don’t...ya’ll,” I paused and took as deep a breath as possible. “Get started,” I whispered.
“Ok baby. You rest,” he whispered.
“Alright sexy man,” I said smiling weakly. I felt the couch move and heard as people left the room. I just need to rest a little while. Just a little while.
************** Justin **************
I closed the door behind me as I stood in the studio and looked at Dani crying on Chris’s shoulder. I chewed at my lip and looked down at the floor. cameron’s gotten a lot worse in the past couple of weeks and it’s hard to watch. So I understand why everyone is so solemn right now. Having to witness that is very scary.
“She’s got a cold and it makes everything a little worse then normal. But she’s fine,” I said and looked up t everyone. They nodded. “I asked all you guys to some over here because I don’t want her to think about everything. That’s the last thing she needs to do. i just want to decorate this house the way she wants it done and make this day fun for her ok,” I said. JC stepped up and rubbed my shoulder. I smiled weakly
“You ok,” he asked. I smiled at him and nodded.
“Cameron makes it ok,” I said. he nodded. “Come on that tree is going to take all of us to get it done and I still got stuff in the garage that needs to be taken out,” I said. Everyone nodded and we exited the room. Today would be a long day
I looked over at Cameron and she was talking to Dani I knew that this is what she wanted to do. She didn’t want him to be there when she watched her hair for the last time and she didn’t want someone that like our moms or something. So Dani and Bobbie were the only one’s left and I prayed that they said yes. I turned back to the tree and smiled. It was coming together good. It took what seemed like years to get the lights on the but after that everything has been going smoothly. Lance, Chris, and Joey were outside putting lights on the house and JC and I were inside.
“Justin,” I looked over at Cameron and she smiled at me.
“Yeah baby,” I asked. Dani and Bobbie were both crying beside her. She smiled.
“Will you take me upstairs. I’m going to wash my hair,” she said softly. I smiled weakly and walked over to her.
“Of course I will,” I said and pulled the blanket off her. She had on some boggy pajama pants and a little tank top. She was so tiny and frail looking. But she was still my Cameron and nothing about that was changing.
“Don’t you get any ideas,” she said as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I smiled and kissed her forehead.
“Baby I always have ideas,” I said smiling. She laughed as we headed up stairs. She ran her finger over my heart softly.
“Say bye bye bye to my hair,” she said quietly. I kissed her forehead again.
“Sweetie it’s not your hair, it’s not your body, none of that is what’s keeping me around. It’s your heart, your personality, your being that’s keeping me around,” she smiled.
“Oh just that,” she asked. I smiled and sat her down on our bed.
“I’ll get the stuff ready in the bathroom ok,” I said and smiled at her. She nodded.
“Ok sexy man,” she whispered. I smiled and kissed the top of her head before I disappeared into the bathroom. i pulled out the shampoo and sat it down on the sink. As I gathered all the things needed to do her hair my mind wandered.
I dashed through the church laughing the whole time at the screaming and giggling coming from behind me and from Cameron in front of me.
“Run Cameron,” I yelled. She squealed and turned the corner sharply. I laughed out loud as I chased her through the endless halls of the large cathedral. She was in her slip, pantyhose, and veil. I was in my tuxedo pants, undershirt and partially opened shirt. But neither one of us cared. I followed her down another hall and almost ran slam into her. We reached a dead end and the only thing left to do was get caught. We were breathing as if the air supply was going to be cut off. I grabbed her in my arms and she pressed up against my chest tightly. “We’re getting married in a hour and a half. We aren't supposed to see each other,” I whispered.
“Yeah well you’re not supposed to swim after you eat but who follows that rule,” she asked. I smiled and ran my finger on the side of her face.
“Not us,” I said softly. she smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck.
“Never,” she said grinning. I kissed her nose softly “I was so nervous and now it just feels so right,” she said quietly.
“I know. This is all we need,” she nodded. I pressed my lips against hers and gently prayed her lips open with mine. When I felt the tip of er tongue drag across my own I pulled her as close to me as possible.
“Cameron Michelle,” i heard her mom yelling. I pulled back and looked in her eyes.
“That’s our cue. You go back and I’ll meet you at the alter in a hour,” she grinned and kissed me.
“I’ll be the one wearing white,” she mumbled into my lips. I smiled and kissed her deeply before pulling back and jogging towards the end of the hallway holding her hands. I pulled her to me one more time and kissed her again.
“i love you,” I whispered. She smiled and kissed me one more time.
“I love you too,” she said grinning and darted towards the sound of her angry mother. I smiled and went in the opposite direction. God I love that woman.
I sat on the couch and stared at the blazing fire in front of me. The other guys were sitting around the large living room and everyone was quiet. The girls had been upstairs for almost two hours. We had finished the tree and all the other decorating and now we were just waiting. A part of me wanted Cameron to rush down the stairs this second so I could see her and smile and everything but another part of me wanted her to take her time. I wasn’t sure how ready I was to see her without hair. Sure I was adjusted to the whole cancer thing but there was never any sure signs that she was really sick except this. With out her having hair it will be a huge reality check every time.
“Justin you ok,” I looked up surprised that someone was talking to me. “J,” JC said a little louder. I looked at him and smiled weakly.
“Yeah...fine. Are you guys hungry or something,” I asked.
“Justin that’s like the seventh time you’ve asked that,” Chris said quietly. I leaned down on my legs and took a deep breath.
“Sorry,” I said softly.
“Justin,” Joey started. But my attention was drawn to the opening and closing of a door upstairs. I quickly sat up and looked behind me. Slowly all three girls appeared at the top of the staircase. cameron was in the middle and well hidden as they walked down. As they stepped off the last stair and turned to face us I got the first glimpse of her bald head. Ny heart beat faster then I thought it ever would and my breathing started getting erratic. I put my hand on my head and tried my hardest not to cry.
“Oh baby,” I heard her little voice say softly. I put my head down on the back of the couch and curled up as I cried like a baby. I cried because it wasn’t as bad as i thought it was going to be. I cried because I was finally realizing that she was really sick. I cried because I was confused. i cried because it was the only emotion that I knew at the moment. I felt two little arms wrap around me but I contiuied to cry. Cameron’s fingers stroked my head softly and my damp cheek. “What’s wrong,” she asked softly. I reached my arm up and rubbed her smooth arm trying my hardest to gain as much comfort as I could.
“I didn’t think you were sick until now,” I whispered. she shifted more into my lap and I wrapped my arms around her waist and put my head on her shoulder. “I...didn’t think,” I sobbed. Her fingers rubbed through my hair softly and I slowly calmed down.
“No you guys stay,” she said quietly. I rubbed my hand up her back and sat up looking in her big brown eyes. “It’s all gone,” she said softly. I nodded and slowly reached my trembling hand up and touched her smooth head.
“You are so beautiful Camy,” I muttered. She smiled and put her hands on the side of my face. “You are so damn beautiful,” I said. She smiled brighter then I have ever seen as she leaned down and kissed my lips softly.
“I needed that baby,” she said as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I closed my eyes and put my head on her shoulder. I kissed the side of her head softly.
“Dance with me,” I whispered. She sat up and looked in my eyes.
“Justin I can’t dance,” she said quietly. I stood up with her in my arms and walked over towards the stereo. I put her down on her feet and pressed a couple of buttons before turning to her and looking deep in her brown eyes.
“You can always lean on me,” I whispered. She smiled and wrapped her arms around my waist as the Aerosmith song we danced to as our first song came out across the speakers. She looked up at me and smiled. I rubbed my hand on the side of her face as we swayed to the music. “I love you so much Cameron,” I said quietly. She chewed at her frosty lip and took a deep breath.
“I love you too,” she muttered. I rubbed my hands n her back and sighed deeply. I don’t know if I can do this, I don’t know if I can do this anymore.
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