I bounced Jaden on my lap and he squealed in joy. I laughed and kissed his
curly head. His green eyes peered into mine and I smiled. He smacked his hand
up against my face and I laughed.
"You hurting mommy," I said. He started to tug on the tube coming out my arm
and I moved his hand quickly. He looked up in my eyes and I touched his
little nose with the tip of my finger. He laughed again forgetting that a
second ago he had been ready to cry out in anger. The door opened and Justin
walked in. I smiled and glanced at the clock. Dr. Appleton should be in here
any minute. I looked down at Jaden and sighed deeply. I pressed my lips
against the top of his head softly and closed my eyes as I held him in my
hands. I rubbed my finger on his smooth arms and felt the way his soft skin
felt against mine. I picked at the curls on top of his head and smiled. "He's
so big," I said still staring down at my baby.
"Yeah he's growing up," Justin said. I nodded and pulled at the little
outfit he was dressed in. I kissed his head again.
"You come in here to take him," I asked softly. Justin sat on the bed beside
me and rubbed the back of my head softly.
"Cameron we are going to be the first one's you open your eyes and see.
Don't you even sweat that," he said. I nodded and touched his little feet.
"Man I didn't think I would have this much trouble with this," I said.
Justin picked up Jaden and I rubbed his leg as he left my lap. "Bye my big
boy," I said and looked at the way he was so comfortable in his daddy's arms.
"I'll see you in a couple hours," I said and touched his feet. He squealed
and it warmed my heart. "Mommy loves you," I said my voice getting softer
with every word. Justin kissed the top of my head.
"I'll be right back," he said. I nodded and he walked out the room. I leaned
back on the pillows and sighed. None of this has hit me yet. Sure I've cried
and everything but it hasn't hit me that I am having a tumor removed from my
body. I lifted up the gown and looked down at my stomach. It had purple
marker all over it and everything. I can't even remember what they're doing.
I mean like if they are taking out part of my stomach or something. I bet
Justin knows. He knows everything about this. Every time I look up he's on
the computer looking something up. I personally think he's scaring himself.
I'm afraid that he's going to have another one of those little outbursts and
I'm not going to be able to calm him down and talk some sense into his hard
head. The door opened again and Trisha poked her head in. I nodded and she
opened the door wider exposing the cameraman. I smiled and waved as I pulled
down on my gown.
"Hey there," she said. I smiled.
"Howdy," I said and tucked my hair behind my ear. "Ewe I look like a crazy
person don't I," I said. She shook her head no. "This is me without the
makeup. Notice the dark circles," I said and rubbed my fingers under my eyes.
"It's not natural I promise," I said. Trisha laughed.
"So it's going on six thirty," she said. I nodded.
"Yep I thought by now I would be heavily sedated," I said. Trisha laughed as
the door opened. I smiled when Justin's face appeared in the harsh light of
the nasty hospital room. I looked at her and she knew she waved and they
walked outside. Justin closed the door behind him and leaned back on the
wall. His hair was unusually wild, like he just got up and didn't care. His
body language screamed pain and uncomforted and I just wanted to bust out in
tears. I wanted to tell him that I was ok and that this was a really bad joke
I had come up with. I wanted to take away all his pain but more then that I
wish I wasn't the cause of it all.
"The doctor is on his way," he said. My skin shuttered at his tone. It
scared me. It wasn't the usual sweet almost hypnotic voice that I have
listened to for so long and had dreams of for even longer.
"Dr. Appleton said I should get that from you," he said. I looked up as he
walked to the side of the bed.
"My wedding ring," I asked. He nodded. "Why," I said in disbelief. Before he
could even spit out half of a reason I stopped him. "You know what it doesn't
matter. Cause I'm not taking it off. And if someone else removes it from my
finger then this whole place is going up," I said still staring at the
platinum ring. I didn't even hear Justin laugh or feel the bed move once he
"You remember when I slipped that on your finger," he asked. I smiled and
pressed my head into the uncomfortable hospital pillows.
"Yeah. I was balling. I'm surprised when you lifted my veil it didn't look
like I had taken a dip in the ocean," he smiled as he rubbed his hand on my
"Yeah but I'm talking about the engagement ring," I closed my eyes and
thought about that day.
"I didn't know my left from my right that day. I didn't know what was going
on," I said. He smiled and I looked down at his hand. He was softly touching
my stomach and I sighed. "You ok," I asked and touched his hand.
"I should be asking you that," he said and smiled.
"Ok ask," I said.
"I'm great how are you," He tickled me and I laughed out loud. "Stop it," I
said and grabbed his hands. He leaned over and kissed my lips softly. I
rubbed my hand on the side of his face.
"I'm going to be right here when you wake up," he said. I nodded but kept my
eyes closed. They were burning so bad from the tears sitting in them.
"I'm going to cry," I whispered.
"You're going to be fine," he said. I nodded as a tear slipped down my face.
"Don't cry baby. This is going to make you feel better," he said. I nodded.
"And when you get better we're going to finally go to Disney World," I
laughed and wiped the tears from under my eyes.
"That's so sad. We've lived in Orlando for like three years and we haven't
been to Disney World once," He smiled and kissed my forehead.
"Well we're going. So you go ahead and mark it in your calendar and I'll go
buy us some cheesy goofy hats," he said.
"I want the ears,"
"Alright. Then that's how it's going to be," he said.
"Promise," I asked. He nodded.
"I promise," I chewed at my lip. "I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too," he leaned down and pulled me to the seated position and I
wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his neck.
"Everything is going to be fine," he whispered. I just want it over with. I
just want to be done with this so bad.
********** Justin **********
Click. Click. Click. The second hand on the clock ticked around and my eyes
watched every single tick. It's nine seventeen and the doctor said he would
come in here when the procedure is complete. Well he needs to bring it on
because it's been almost two hours and a half. The longest it's supposed to
last is three hours. Jaden squealed and I looked at him. I can not believe
he's still awake. Probably because Haley is sitting there playing with him. I
stood up and walked over to her. He was sitting on her lap and laughing every
time she touched his nose.
"What are you doing to my son," I asked. She looked up at me and I saw so
much of Cameron in her it was almost scary. She was her exact image.
"I'm playing with my nephew that I don't get to see much," she said. I
smiled and looked at him. He loved every second of it.
"Well I don't mean to interrupt you little reunion but he needs to go to
sleep," I said. She nodded and I picked him up. He was so excited and was
going to give me a hard time probably. I cradled him in my arms and started a
little pace. I rubbed my finger on his chest and he calmed down. I sat down
back in my chair and smiled at my son. He is my everything. I never thought
that I would be a father right now in my life. Two years ago if someone told
me that I would be holding my son right now I would have laughed in their
face. But now I don't know what I'd do without Jaden in my life.
"Justin you want me to hold him," my mom asked. I shook my head no and
leaned down and kissed his forehead softly. He was fighting sleep and sleep
was winning. I smiled and put him down on the couch beside me. The door
opened and the doctor walked in. I stood up and walked to his side.
"How'd it go," I asked.
"Good really good. The tumor was bigger then we expected so we went ahead
and performed a full gastrectomy," he said. I crossed my arms not
understanding what he meant. "Basically we removed her whole stomach," I took
a deep breath. Is that possible? You have to have your stomach?
"How can you take her whole stomach," I asked.
"You actually don't need your stomach as much as people think. It slows the
digestive process and so now Cameron is not going to be able to eat like she
used to. Instead of the food being broken up in her stomach, its going to go
straight into her large intestine," he said. I nodded kind of understanding.
"So they're cleaning her up and she'll wake up in a couple of hours. But
everything went really good." He was smiling so that's a really good sign. I
nodded. "A nurse will come and get you when you can see her," I nodded.
"Thank you so much Dr. Appleton," I shook his hand and he smiled.
"No problem. I'll see you later," he said. I smiled and he walked out but as
soon as the door closed my smile faded. Sure it went good but this whole
situation is bittersweet. She shouldn't have to go through this at all. She
twenty-two for God's sake. We should be raising our baby and thinking about
expanding our family. Not how kemo is going to affect her or if we're going
to have to take more serious steps to save her life. Save her life? That is
scary. That scares me because I never thought that this would happen. Not at
this time in my life. I am too young to have this amount of stress put on me
at one time. I have to be mommy and daddy. I have to be a caregiver and try
to keep myself sane through it all. And I don't know if I'm up for that yet.
"Can we see her," Cameron's mom said knocking me out my deep thoughts. I
looked over at her and realized how worried she had to be. The doctor really
doesn't come in and talk to her. He talks to me and then I relay the
information and that's got to be hard since it is her daughter. I know if
Jaden were sick I would want to be the first to know what's going on with
"Not right away. They are cleaning her up and everything right now. In about
thirty minutes or so," I said. She nodded and sighed. I walked back over to
my baby and picked him up softly. He didn't flinch or move an inch. He slept
like his mommy, like a board. I laid him on my chest as I stretched out on
the couch and rubbed his tiny little back. He took a deep breath and I closed
my eyes. I just need to relax and if holding my little boy is the way to do
it, then that's how it's going to be done.
I opened the door as quietly as I could and stepped into the dark room. It
was silent except for the beeping of the heart monitor and the only light on
was above Cameron's head. The brightness of the fluorescent light made her
look worse then she really does. Her blond hair was laying over both of her
shoulders. Her skin, although still tan, looked almost clammy and wrinkled.
Her lips normally a bright pink was almost a pale blue. I took a deep breath
trying to calm myself down when I realized that I was on the verge of tears.
Tubes were coming out of her everywhere but the blankets were pulled up on
her tightly covering every part of her body except her arms that were laying
on the bad beside her. I closed the door behind me and walked over to the bed
to examine her closely. I reached out and touched her cheek softly to feel it
and my body calmed down when I realized that her skin was still as soft as
before. I turned around and picked up the chair and sat it down beside the
bed. I took a seat and reached for her little hand. It wasn't warm but it was
cold either. I brought it to my lips and kissed it softly. Everyone else has
been in her and you can tell. She had lipstick marks on her forehead and the
seat was still warm from where people had sat in it. Her mom came in first
with her sister and they were in here for awhile. Then Jackie and the guys.
After that my mom came in and I'm the last. I'm staying the night cause I
want to be here when she wakes up. I rubbed my hand up her bare arm and was
surprised at how cold her skin was. I closed my eyes and put my head down on
the bed. I'm sleepy but I don't want to go to sleep and miss seeing her wake
up. I kissed her hand one more time then totally relaxed and slowly drifted
I looked down at my hands and they were so wet with sweat. I don't know how
I'm going to do this. I have never been this nervous before in my life. I'm
just so scared right now. So scared at how she is going to react to this. At
what her answer is going to be. I just want to get it over with. I took a
deep breath and pushed open the drapes. It was drizzling outside a little bit
and the wind was blowing the trees softly. We're about to get hit by this
hurricane but I have to do it today. I've been telling everyone to call me at
about twelve to see how it went so it's happening defiantly. I ran my hand
over my hair and looked back at Cameron. She had her hands under her pillow
and her blond hair was flowing behind her on the pillow. She had a tiny grin
on her face like whatever she was dreaming was the best dream she'd ever had.
This has got to go good, it just has too. I opened up the jewelry box in my
hand and stared at the ring I was holding. I know she's going to love this.
This ring cost more then all the jewelry I bought for myself and Cameron
combined. She has got to say yes. Otherwise I don't know what I will do with
this huge rock. I took it out the box and held it in my hand. I sat the box
on the sofa behind a pillow. I took a deep breath and climbed in the bed and
pulled up the covers over me. I rubbed my finger down Cameron's smooth arm
and looked down at her face. She smiled but kept her eyes closed. She looked
like an angel. I leaned down and kissed her toned arm.
"Has the hurricane come," she asked quietly. I smiled and rubbed my hand on
her waist. She's never been in a hurricane. I've been in about three because
I lived in Florida when I was younger.
"Not yet," she smiled and rolled over.
"You look pale. You aren't sick again are you," she asked. I smiled.
"Nope," I said and sat up. She sat up and her long hair fell over her
shoulders until she twisted it and let it fall on her back. I stuck my leg
out and my foot hung over the edge of the bed. She put her smooth leg over
mine and smiled.
"Good thing," she said.
"Yeah good thing," I said looking in her eyes.
"You hungry. I should probably make something before we loose
electricity," she said and started to get up. I grabbed her hand and she
looked at me.
"We have plenty of time," I said. "I want to talk to you," she looked
back at me and smiled.
"Ok," she said and moved up closer to me. I smiled holding her little
hand in mine.
"You remember that first time we met," I asked. She laughed and nodded.
"You couldn't even talk. It was so cute cause you helped me with my
lines sounding like a frog," she said. I nodded and smiled.
"That was the first time that I ever felt like drawn to someone," I
said. She smiled and bit her lip.
"That's sweet Justin," she said. I smiled.
"I feel like I need to have you with me no matter what. My life was so
confusing until you came back in it. You made everything seem so clear and
easy. You made me a confused guy who thought he had mammoth size problems
push everything to the side and put my entire life in perspective," she
smiled and tilted her head to the side.
"What's going on Justin," she asked. I brought her hand to my lips and
kissed it softly.
"In due time sweet girl," I said and kissed it again. She smiled. "We've
been together for four years now. Wow that's a long time," she nodded in
agreement. "I used to think of only one thing my music. Now I find myself
drifting off and daydreaming about you. And yeah I think about my music but
it always revolves around you. When I write a song I think about you. When
I'm dancing on stage I'm thinking about you. When I standing in the studio
I'm thinking about you. And it's not bad. I think of what my life is going to
be like when we have children and what they are going to look like," a huge
smile crossed her face. "I dream about how much I want you to be the one. How
I know, how everything in my body knows that you are my soul mate. The only
one on this earth that I was meant to be with," I said.
"Justin," she said quietly. I entwined my fingers in hers.
"I go to sleep knowing that I am the luckiest guy on the face of the
earth. Because I'm going to sleep with the love of my life. And if I don't
wake up I will know that I had the best and it wasn't because I was rich or
famous. It was because I have you," her bottom lip trembled I slipped my hand
out of hers and put them both behind my back and switched the ring to my
"What are you doing," she asked and smiled. I shook my head and brought
my hands around in fist. Holding them in front of her. She smiled and bit her
"Pick a hand," I said. She picked the opposite hand that didn't have the
ring in it. Good thing cause I don't know what I would have done if she had
picked this hand. I flipped open my hand and she smiled.
"I lost," she asked. I shook my head.
"Before I had nothing," she smiled. "After you came into my life all I
have is undying and unconditional love. And now I have something," I said and
slowly turned my other hand over and opened it showing off the huge ring. Her
mouth dropped open and she covered her mouth with her hands. "Cameron
Michelle Snipes. I promise to love, honor, and treasure you for all the days
of my life. Through sickness and health, till death do us part," I smiled
looking in her eyes. "Will you do me this honor and be my bride," I asked.
She ran her hands through her hair. Her back straight and her eyes trying to
hold back tears.
"Y-yes," she stuttered out. She cleared her throat. "Yes I'll marry
you," she said. I smiled and took her left hand and slipped off the
commitment ring and slipped the huge diamond on her finger. I looked up in
her eyes. "I love you so much," she whispered. I smiled and pulled her to me
hugging her tightly.
"I love you too," I said holding back the tears in my eyes. She pulled
back and looked in my eyes. She smiled with tears rolling down her face. I
leaned in and pressed my lips against hers. She pulled back and smiled.
"We're getting married," she said. I nodded. She smiled and hugged me
again. "Oh my goodness," she said and kissed me again. "I'm your fiancée,"
she said. I nodded and kissed her.
I woke up to someone squeezing my hand. I opened my eyes and took in my
"Justin," a tiny raspy voice said. I popped up and looked around to see who
was talking to me. "Justin," I looked at Cameron and her eyes were open and
she was focusing on me. I smiled.
"Hey there sleepy head," I said. She smiled and closed her eyes.
"You're one to talk. I've been trying to wake you for ten minutes," she
said. I smiled and kissed her hand.
"How you feeling," I asked. She swallowed hard and looked up at the ceiling.
"I don't know. I feel kind of numb. Like from my shoulders down I really
don't feel anything," she said softly. I nodded. She swallowed again. "These
damn tubes are getting on my nerves I know that," she said. I laughed softly.
"The nurse came in while you were asleep and changed the bandages. Ewe is all
I can say about that. I wanted to throw up and if I had a stomach I would
have," I didn't want to laugh cause it wasn't funny but then again it was.
"Cameron shut up," I said and looked in her eyes. She smiled.
"Bad joke right," she said. I nodded. She smiled and sighed. "This is going
to get really boring," she said. I smiled.
"We'll make it fun," I said. She looked over at me.
"Have I ever said how cute you are when you wake up," she said. I rolled my
eyes and sighed loudly. "You look like a little three year old with your hair
all messy and your eyes all sexy," she said.
"Ewe baby," she laughed softly.
"Who those flowers from," she asked. I turned around and looked at the huge
bouquet of orange roses. I reached for the card. "They aren't from you," she
said almost surprised. I chewed at my lip. "Ewe asshole," she said dragging
out her words. I laughed.
"What I was in here holding your hand through the night," I said smiling.
"Well you should have bought my flowers and then catered to my every need,"
she said. I smiled.
"I love you to gorgeous," she smiled. I pulled the card out and opened it.
My mouth almost dropped open when I read the name.
"Who," she asked.
"Britney," I said quietly.
"Oh someone give me strength. I swear this girl if I wasn't held up in a
hospital bed," she said. I smiled.
"It's really nice," I said reading over the little message.
"Justin Timberlake," she started.
"Ok ok I'm sorry. It was really mean and self fish of her to send you
flowers," I said sarcastically.
"It was and my favorite type to. She should rot in hell for this," I
"Cameron are you sure you went through surgery last night," I asked.
"Yep. Why am I too excited?" I nodded. She sighed. "Maybe cause I'm so used
to putting up a front. Cause honestly I feel like shit," she said. I nodded
and put the card on the table.
"You should rest," I said. She looked at me.
"Three words I have a feeling I'm going to come to hate," she said. I
pressed my lips against hers softly. "Do I look dead," she asked.
"Gorgeous," I said. She smiled and I kissed her again. "Now sleep oh hyper
one," I said. She smiled.
"Oh one with out digestive system," I shook my head and looked up at the
ceiling. "Bad joke sorry," she said grinning from ear to ear. I kissed her
"I'll be back soon. You sleep and enjoy your meal," I said and headed
towards the door.
"What meal," she called after me. I turned around and smiled.
"The one pumping through your veins," I said. She looked at the IV and made
a face. "I think it's beans and rice," I said and smiled.
"Oh my favorite I can almost taste it," she said sarcastically. I laughed
and opened the door. "By guy," she said her voice still tiny. I turned and
looked at her.
"Bye girl," I said and walked out into the hall. If that's how she's acting
now then this isn't going to be as bad as they expected.
The phone rang for what seemed like the millionth
time and I finally
gathered up the strength to reach over and grab it. I cleared my throat as I
glanced towards the clock. Three-thirty, whoever is supposed to be here this
afternoon could at least answer the phone. I mean I haven't gotten a good
night sleep in three days and last night was no exception. Jaden woke up
every hour on the hour. He had a nasty cough so I sat in the bathroom with
the shower on very hot until his cough broke up. Then after I finally rocked
him to sleep my mom called waking him up all over again and I had to rock him
to sleep and everything. So when I finally got in bed I just collapsed.
"Hello," I muttered.
"I'm guessing this means you forgot about the meeting that we were having
today," Johnny said on the other end. I ran my hand over my face and sat up.
"The meeting is Monday," I said still thinking it was Sunday.
"What do you think today is," he asked. I closed my eyes and fell back on
the bed. Jaden had a doctor's appointment today and I promised Cameron we
would stop by at three right after my meeting.
"I'm sorry I just passed out and slept. I'm on my way," I said and sighed
"No Justin it's fine. I was just saying that we have promotion in New York
Thursday that could not be changed. I know Cameron will still be in the
hospital but we need you there if you can be," he said. I nodded and closed
"I'll be there," I said softly.
"That was quick," he said.
"It's my job I don't have much of a choice," I said and rubbed my face.
"Ok Justin the van will pick you up Thursday morning at eight o'clock," he
said. I nodded.
"Jaden is coming," I said and yawned.
"That's fine," he said. I nodded and closed my eyes. "So eight Thursday.
Packed and ready," he said.
"Yep," I said and yawned.
"Ok Justin I'll talk to you in two days," Johnny said.
"Bye," I said and pressed the power button ending the conversation before
Johnny had a chance to say anything else. I dropped the phone on the floor
and rolled over drifting off again.
"Do you really have to go," Cameron whispered. In the past two days her pain
has gone from slightly none to unbearable and I don't want to leave her. I
rubbed her forehead with a cool washcloth and sighed.
"I wish I hadn't said yes but I did and they are expecting me," I said
softly. She nodded and closed her eyes swallowing hard. "Do I need to get the
doctor," I asked. She shook her head no.
"I just need some rest," she whispered. I leaned up and kissed her forehead.
"Will you bring Jaden in here so I can kiss him and everything," I nodded and
sighed. "You ok sexy," she asked with a weak smile.
"Yeah I'm fine. Just a little worn out but nothing a little sleep can't take
care of," I said with a smile. She nodded and licked her chapped lips. She
looked like she was in so much pain. Her face was pale and her lips were
almost a light shade of blue. I rubbed my hand on her clammy skin and looked
in her eyes smiling. "You're so handsome. Have I ever told you that," she
asked. Her voice soft and weak. I smiled.
"Not in those words," I said tucking a piece of stray hair behind her ear.
She cracked a genuine smile and my heart warmed.
"You're hot. How about that? You are a defiant hottie sexy man," I laughed
softly. "You even got a surf board to prove it," she said with a smile.
"You had to bring that up didn't you," I said stroking her arm gently. She
smiled and nodded.
"It's hard to forget your almost kiss with Ms. Spears," I shook my head.
"You know you're so much hotter then her right," I asked and smiled. She
laughed weakly but heartily.
"Don't blow my head up baby. It's hard to be conceded in a hospital," I
nodded in agreement. "How is Ms. Spears? I know she's called at least fifteen
times," I rolled my eyes and sat the washcloth down on the bed table.
"She's fine I guess. She sends her love," I said hesitantly waiting for a
remark but instead she was just quiet and nodded. "What no words," I asked
surprised that she had nothing smart to say.
"Well if I can't talk to you at night at least someone is," she said softly.
I looked at her for a minute to see if she was kidding about that statement.
But she didn't crack a smile or twitch a muscle.
"You aren't serious," I asked. She nodded. "Cameron when Britney calls all
we talk about is you," I said. She nodded.
"I know and I'm glad you can talk to her. I mean look at the scars on your
hand. They are there because you couldn't talk to anyone and if Britney is
the one you can open your heart to and tell how you are really feeling then I
will more then gladly welcome her into my house," she said. I looked down at
the still healing scars on my hand. They were still very painful and would
bleed sometimes. But I would rather cut my hand everyday then have her laying
in this bed not trusting whether I'm just talking to Britney or doing other
"Cameron I don't need her to talk my feeling out. I have so many people to
turn to that are much better listeners," I said. She nodded and closed her
"That's good to hear Justin but just incase you need to talk to her don't
feel like I'd be mad. Cause I won't. I want you to be happy baby. I know how
much change this is for you," she said. I smiled.
"Change is good." I said with a cheesy smile. She laughed and lifted her arm
wiping her forehead softly.
"Why you are so corny I will never know," I laughed and rubbed her bangs out
"Just to make you smile," she shook her head no. "Then why," I asked.
"Because you were born like that. You are so corny around me and then you
get in front of a camera and it's like. Yo I'm Justin. What up. I'm chillen
like a villain and just maxin' and relaxin' with my girl," I laughed loudly
and shook my head.
"I have never said those corny lines in my entire life so stop trippin'," I
said with a smile.
"Or what I better recognize," she asked. I kissed her lips softly and rubbed
"Get better girl. I want you home with me so we can act stupid in our own
bed," she smiled.
"I can't wait believe me," she whispered. I kissed her forehead softly.
"I know baby. I know," I said with a deep sigh. I just want her home. When
she's in the hospital I just feel like there is so much wrong with her. If
she's at home that means she's getting better and that's what I want.
The cool air was too much for Jaden and my fatherly instincts took over
causing me to pull out a blanket and wrap him in it before continuing my walk
towards the black security van. Coming out of JFK with a crying baby behind
four guys who could cause a riot and including myself wasn't the best
decision I have ever made. And the screams and camera flashes were even worse
when the blanket fell off Jaden's curly head. I wanted to yell at them and
tell them to shut up, after all it's a baby they are screaming at but nothing
would help. These fans didn't care that I was carrying a baby, they just
wanted to see little Lake. The one member of the Timberlake family that has
remained out the press. And that one little slip would all be on the Internet
by the next morning. I sighed as I climbed into the van and the door slammed
beside me. Jaden's face was red from crying and his little voice was horse. I
sat back on the seat and put him on my shoulder rubbing his back softly.
"We should have brought him out earlier," one of the many women that walk
around nameless said. I looked at her as Jaden calmed down and whimpered in
my ear. I kissed his head and looked in the front seat at her.
"Should a, could a, would a. It's too late for all that now isn't it," I
snapped. I wasn't in the mood for someone to tell me that my decision wasn't
the best. I already knew it and I was going to be the one dealing with my
son's picture everywhere. Not them. I cradled Jaden in my arms and wiped a
tear off his face. He smiled up at me and gently squeezed his sides. He
squealed in excitement and pleasure and I couldn't help but smile.
"Dang he quickly changed his tune," Joey said. I nodded in agreement as
Jaden laughed at the funny expressions Chris was making behind me at him.
"That's how kids are. They'll forgive you for anything," JC said. I
certainly hope so. Although it's going to take a long time for me to forgive
myself for the little episode that just took place outside. And more then
likely it's going to take Cameron even longer.
"Do you know if anyone got a picture of him," I asked softly looking at
Mike. He shrugged.
"I was right beside you so I doubt any picture taken will be any good," he
said. I nodded and kiss Jaden's head.
"Look it's Justin's mini-me," Chris exclaimed. The guys burst into laughter
like they always do when he says that stupid comment. I rolled my eyes and
looked down at Jaden. He was smiling up at me and I leaned down and kissed
his forehead again.
"I think it's time to come up with another joke," I said and glanced back at
Chris. He was still giggling softly.
"You're just mad because it's about you," Chris said. Jaden squealed and
kicked his legs at Chris comment. I laughed along with everyone else.
"Tell him J," I said with a smile as he continued to carry on a conversation
that only him and God understood. "Where are we headed today," I asked and
looked in the front seat at the lady who had felt it necessary to spread her
knowledge about how I should care for my baby.
"Photo shoot," she said quickly. I nodded and reached down in the bag
pulling out a small bottle of apple juice. I popped the top off and handed it
to Jaden. He struggled with it for a second before maneuvering it to his
mouth and sucked on it like it was the last time he was ever going to be fed.
Cameron hates when I do that but Jaden is a lot smarter and stronger then she
thinks he is and I know he is so capable of doing it himself which he is and
that is why he is holding this bottle himself. He stuck his hand in his curly
hair like he does whenever he's drinking from a bottle and looked around. He
is growing up so fast. It's hard for me to even believe. The van pulled to a
stop in front of a large building and we all climbed out. There weren't any
fans around. Just busy New Yorkers that weren't paying attention to five
young guys and their large group of people. We walked into the building and
piled onto the elevator. After Chris scared the hell out of everyone by
jumping up and down as we reached the twelfth floor we all quickly exited the
elevator and entered the large airy studio. Racks of clothes lined the wall
and a play pin for Jaden sat next to what was probably my little area. To the
left was a large table of food and a rack with women's clothes. I looked
around not understanding the women's clothes. I turned around slowly.
"Joey you dressing up like a girl again forus," I asked as my eyes focused
on the short blond with a navy baseball hat on her head and two pigtails
sprouting out the side. Her eyes were glued on me and small smile twitched
into formation when she saw me looking at her.
"Has it been that long Justin," she said her voice soft and twangy as she
slipped off her coat exposing the little half shirt she had on and low riding
"What is she doing here," I asked taking my eyes away from her.
"We're doing a show with her. Didn't you know that Justin," JC asked. I
swallowed hard and looked back at Britney.
"Yeah that's what this two day promotion is for. You five guys are stuck
with me," she said with a sneaky smile. "I hope you can handle that Justin,"
she said. I looked down at Jaden. Why is this happening to me? What did I do
that was so wrong?
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