Chapter 4


I opened my eyes slowly and saw a figure sitting beside me. I took a deep
breath and tried to sit up. The person pushed my chest and I laid back down.
I rubbed my eyes trying to figure out who this was sitting in front of me.
The person reached up and flipped on the light beside the bed. I closed my
eyes and slowly opened them again. Cameron sat back and folded her hands in
her lap. She was dead silent and I looked around the room. It was dark
outside. Dang how long was I asleep.

“May I ask what demon invaded your body causing you to hurl your fist through
a window,” I closed my eyes and cracked a small smile.

“I don’t know. Every thing’s kind of blurry,” I said opening my eyes to look
up at her. She looked so beautiful. Her face was full of color and her brown
eyes were so soft. The light in the room softened her face and her blond hair
was pulled back in a low ponytail. She looked almost unreal.

“That would make since. Since you passed out and slept like a baby for twelve
hours,” she said. I sighed and lifted up my hand. It was wrapped in bandages
“Eight stitches,” she said quietly. I raised my eyebrows. “Yep two
centimeters to the right and you would have hit a vein,” she said looking in
my eyes. I let out a deep breath.

“I’m sorry Cameron. I didn’t mean to loose control like that,” I said
“Don’t apologize to me Justin. I have never in my life seen those four guys
so scared. I came here and everyone was crying. It was a mad house. You were
still on the dance floor and the towel was full of blood. I didn’t know what
to think. Johnny said you finally snapped and I was like finally,” I closed
my eyes knowing what this was about. “No way Mr. Timberlake. You open your
eyes and look at me cause this is big,” she said. I did what I was told and
looked in her eyes. “He told me that every time he’s seen you you’ve been on
edge. Right there between sane and insane. And I was totally confused because
at home you are normal old Justin,” she said. I swallowed hard. “He said you
were trying to be strong for me,” I nodded. She sighed and rubbed her hand on
the side of my face. “That’s my sweet husband. Wanting to protect me but you
can’t do that Justin. I won’t let you do that to yourself. We have to be
strong together. You can’t hold us both up,” she said. “I hate knowing that I
caused this. I hate that,” s
he said.

“No Cameron. No,” I exclaimed. She shook her head and put her finger against
my lips.

“Listen,” she said softly. I nodded and relaxed. She moved her finger and
relaxed her hand on my chest. “We can’t let this happen to us. This ‘I’m not
going to let her see how I really feel.’ Cause I need to know. I need to know
that this is affecting you. Some way, I need to see you angry and sad I need
to see the tears. You can say that you’re scared but those are words. I need
to know and I can’t if you shut it off around me. I can deal with it. Believe
me. Yes you are my rock but you can’t be by weakening yourself and not
telling me your true feelings,” she said. I nodded and closed my eyes. I
didn’t want to pour my heart out to her. But I looked in her eyes and knew
that only the truth would be acceptable.

“I’m so scared. I have these dreams and I’m afraid to go to sleep because of
them. But I’m afraid to wake up because my reality is just as scary as my
sleep,” I whispered. “And I know that you are going to be ok. I know that but
it hurts me to know that I can’t do anything. I feel so helpless and I hate
that,” I said and clenched my jaw to keep from sobbing out loud. She rubbed
my face softly.

“I know. I know baby. Me too,” she said softly and sweetly.

“And I want to take this away from you. I don’t want you to suffer this pain.
God I WOULD GIVE MY LIFE to know that you didn’t have to endure this,” I said
as tears rolled down my face. She wiped my face so softly and I felt so much
comfort in her simple touch. “It’s so hard knowing but not being able to do
anything. And I’m so mad....I just want to hit something...I want to knock
the shit out of something,” I said finally venting and letting my anger surge
through my veins.

“You already did that baby. Maybe you should hold off on that for awhile,” I
laughed through my tears and looked up at her. She had tears on her face as
well. I reached up and wiped them away softly. “You are such a teddy bear and
I love that about you,” she said and pulled me up by my good hand. She
wrapped her arms around my neck and I held her close to me and cried on her
shoulder. She rubbed my back softly and I tried to calm down. “I love you,”
she said in my ear and kissed my neck. I wrapped my arms tighter around her
and continued to cry. I just couldn’t hold back. Everything was coming out
and I actually starting to feel better.


I walked down the stairs behind Cameron. She had taken off the jean jacket
that she had on when she first came in because I had left a little tear stain
on her shoulder. She had joked and said it was more like a puddle but I still
have not managed to find the humor in that statement. I pushed up on the fake
reading glasses and pulled down on the fishermen’s hat that she had brought
for me. She knew that I would want to hide and she was right. I pulled down
on the tight gray shirt as we reached the bottom of the stairs. I wiped at my
drippy nose and took a shaky breath. I was still recovering from my little
session upstairs. She reached back and looked in my eyes. “You ok,” she
asked. I nodded. She smiled and took my hand in hers. I relaxed a little bit
and we walked towards the room that had a lot of chattering coming from it.
Cameron poked her head and and smiled. “Hey guys. Look who’s up,” she said. I
lifted my wrapped up hand and waved weakly. They all nodded. She looked in my
eyes and I knew what I had t
o say to them. They deserved an explanation. Even if it wasn’t good.

“Um,” I started and my voice was just nasty sounding. I cleared my throat and
tried again. “Guys,” I said softly. They looked over at me and everything got
silent. I ran my tongue over my teeth and chewed at my lip. “I’m sorry about
this morning. I don’t know and I can’t imagine what went through your minds
when you saw that. But I’m sorry for loosing it like that and allowing
everything to get so built up inside of me,” I took a deep breath and looked
away from everyone. “This is hard,” I said quietly. No one said anything so I
tried to gather everything inside of me and get out all that I wanted to say.
“I’m not used to stuff like this. I’m not used to change and I’m damn sure
not ready for a lot of responsibility,” I said quietly. “I just want to say
that I um....I,” I let go of Cameron’s hand and covered my face with my hand
and tried my hardest not to cry again. “I need you guys right now. More then
you know,” I whispered. I cleared my throat and sniffed. “Sometimes I act
like a prick and I vent a lot b
ut it’s because you are family and I know know whatever I do
whether it be the stupidest thing in the world you are always going to be
behind me and I guess I take that for granted,” I whispered. I chewed at the
corner of my mouth and tried to swallow the extreme sorrow that had engulfed
me. “And this with Camy and having Jaden now. I just,” I trailed off and bit
my lip. I cleared my throat one good time and took a deep breath. “So um
sorry,” I said and looked up at everyone. They were leaning down on their
legs and looking away. I looked at Cameron and she had a soft grin on her
face. She reached over and rubbed my back. She leaned into me with her
shoulder and I took a deep breath.

“We understand,” Chris said softly. I nodded and looked down. I walked into
the room and touched Joey’s back softly. He looked up at me and his eyes were
damp. If he was crying then everyone was crying. He stood up and I gave him a
hug. I went around the room and finally looked at Cameron. She was leaning on
the wall talking to Maggie. She looked beautiful still. She smiled big and
tossed her head back laughing. Her eyes locked with mine and she winked at
“Ready sexy man,” she asked. I smiled.

“Yeah,” I said. She smiled.

“I’ll meet you at the car,” she said. I nodded. SHe stood up and smiled. “Bye
guys I’ll see you on the airplane,” she said and smiled. They all said their
goodbyes and she disappeared.

“We practicing tomorrow,” I asked.

“Yeah I guess. We wanted to give you and Cameron the day since,” JC said but
trailed off at the end. I finally realized what day it was. It was Tuesday
night, tomorrow was really a free day, Thursday was the awards, and Friday
was the surgery. My legs gave out on me and I was lucky the chair was behind
me. I hadn’t even realized it. I looked around, everything was moving slowly
and I wasn’t thinking straight. I had to do something special, I had to make
Wednesday unforgettable and I have about twelve hours to do so. “Justin you
ok,” JC asked.

“Can you guys help me with something,” I asked.

“Yeah,” Joey said.

“I want to do something for Cameron and I need your help,” they all nodded
and I stood up to tell them my plan. Tomorrow has to be amazing and if
everything goes right it will be.


I woke up and shielded my face from the bright light I glanced over at the
clock. 5 AM. I sighed deeply and looked over at Justin. He wasn’t in the bed,
instead he was already dressed and was standing in the mirror fixing one of
his many curls. I looked around noticing that every light in the room had
been turned on. I moved in the bed trying to figure out what this crazy man
was doing. He looked behind him when he heard my movement and smiled.

“Good morning sunshine,” he said cheesing hard. I groaned and shoved my face
in the pillow. I heard him laugh softly then felt the bed move and his hand
on my waist. “You need to get up. It’s a beautiful day,” he whispered in my

“Justin the sun isn’t up. How in the world can you tell what kind of day it
is,” I muttered with my eyes closed.

“I know. I just know,” he said sounding so corny it was almost sickening.
“Now get up. We are going to be late. I took the liberty of laying out some
clothes that you should probably wear. Cause its going to be cold,” he said
and kissed the side of my head.

“Late for what,” I asked as he climbed off the bed. I sat up slowly and
rubbed my eyes.

“No, no. One mustn't ask what one’s husband has planned for the day. One must
oblige and not asketh what thou shall be late for,” he said cheery.

“Shut the hell up,” I said and stood up. He grinned and laughed as I strolled
by him into the bathroom. Even every light in the bathroom was on. “Why in
the hell is every damn light in this room on,” I asked and pulled open my
closet door but waited outside for an answer.

“Oh no thou shall not ask,” I cut him off.

“Do not start it again. I am really not in the mood for that shit,” I said.
He laughed and I walked into the closet mumbling to myself. Hanging on a hook
at the back of the closet was a pair of jeans, a tight white T-shirt, a white
sweater and a note. I closed the door and walked over to the note and put my
hands on my hips as I read it.

My heartbeat. Today is your day and I have planned things that will
remind you of somethings and to start of the day we need to be at the
airport by five fifteen. Maybe I should have awaken you earlier. But
you looked so peaceful and beautiful. I couldn’t dare disturb that. So
hurry up honey and I’ll be waiting in the car.
P.S. I decided that the thong might be too much but I don’t know. Surprise

I laughed loudly and sat the note down on the chair. I dressed quickly and
did all my makeup and hair at the little vanity Justin had put in my closet.
I looked down at my watch and noticed how well I did. I actually got dressed
in seven minutes. That’s a record. I walked out the room and down the stairs.
My mom was in the kitchen with Jaden. They are up way too early. He won’t
make it to his nap. I waved and opened the door. Justin was sitting in his
car and I walked down the stairs and into the darkness. I pulled open the
door and plopped down in the chair. He smiled and backed out as I clipped my
seat belt.

“Very sweet sexy. One question,” I said and looked at him.

“I’ll bite,” he said and turned down the street.

“What makes you think I’m going to let you see my underwear,” I asked. He
laughed and reached over rubbing his hand on my leg.

“Believe me when I say that after today you’re going to want to show me,” he
said. I rolled my eyes and sat back.

“That sweet,” I asked.

“Incredibly,” he whispered. I smiled.

“You better impress me Mr. Timberlake,” I said. He smiled and turned down a
dirt road.

“Oh I will. Don’t you worry about that,” he said I smiled.


I stumbled and leaned on Justin for support. I don’t know where I am but I
don’t like it. The ground is hard and the air is almost too fresh. Me and
wilderness do not get along and Justin has got to know that. To top it all
off every couple of seconds the really scary noise goes off and I jump every
time. But since I have this stupid blindfold on I have no idea what’s going

“Ok baby I’m going to pick you up so just hold onto me,” Justin said. I did
what I was told and wrapped my arms around his neck as best as I could. I
felt him step up then back down. He slowly put me down and my feet touched
the floor. I wasn’t on the ground anymore. I was in something and it didn’t
feel really safe under my feet. The scary noise went off right by my head
and I screamed. Justin laughed and wrapped his arms around me. “Don’t be
scared sweetie. I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he said in my
ear. I wrapped my arms around his waist and put my head on his chest. It felt
like we were rising but of course I have no idea what’s going on. I almost
fell asleep until I heard someone mumbling.

“Justin,” I whispered. I knew he was still here. I was holding onto him. I
was just picking up on another voice and I wasn’t sure what it was.

“Yeah,” he asked.

“Nothing,” I said and relaxed. He pressed his lips against my forehead.

“You ready for my surprise,” he asked. I nodded. “Ok when I take this
blindfold off keep you eyes closed so I can put your sunglasses on. I don’t
want to hurt those beautiful eyes,” he said.

“Justin,” I said getting sick of the whole thing.

“Camy please. I went through a lot for this. Just amuse me,” he said. I
sighed and nodded. He pulled the blindfold off and I kept my eyes closed like
he asked. He slid the sunglasses on and I could feel him pushing my hair out
the way. He turned my body a little bit and I kept my eyes closed. He wrapped
his arms around my waist and I felt his chin on my shoulder. “Open your
eyes,” he whispered in my ear. I did and what I saw was amazing. We were high
above the city and the sun was just coming over the horizon. The bright
orange ball looked like it was slowly emerging from under the ground and the
rays, oh my gosh the rays were so unbelievable. I cold see Disney World and
the big ball thing at Epcot. It was so beautiful.

“Oh my God,” I whispered taking it all in.

“I wanted to show you something that you will remember for the rest of your
life,” Justin said in my ear. I bit my lip and my eyes scanned the beautiful
sky. We were so alone. “Every time you get scared and every time you feel
like there’s no hope. You remember this. You remember how perfect it is and
how for thirty minutes it was just you me and God. And you fight for this.
You fight cause I don’t want this to be it. I want to bring you back up here
and I want to see that expression on your face,” he said. I swallowed hard
and pressed my lips together. “You fight for us and I will do whatever it
takes. I promise you that. I make that promise to you today. That whatever
you need, whatever it takes to keep us together. I’ll do it. I make that
promise if you promise me that you won’t ever give up,” he said. I sniffed
when I heard his voice crack. “You promise me that whenever you feel like you
can’t go on you’ll turn to me and we’ll make it through. You promise me
that,” he said.

“I promise,” I said. He kissed my cheek and wrapped his arms around my waist

“I love you so much. You are the reason I’m here,” he said into my neck. His
warm breath leaving a cloud beside my face. I reached my hand up and rubbed
his neck.

“I love you too Justin. And I’ll never leave you. I’ll never leave,” I said.
He kissed my neck softly and I turned my head and looked at his face. He had
his sunglasses on too but I could feel the warmth from his eyes and I smiled.
He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. It was so perfect.
Everything at that exact moment was so perfect. And that’s how I want to
remember it. For a brief moment in time, my life was perfect. Nothing
mattered except how Justin’s lips felt on mine and how much love I felt
radiating off his body. I will remember this moment forever.

Justin pulled open the door to Hardee’s and I walked in in front looking
around. Justin has completely lost his mind but it’s ok because it’s out of
love. So if we get trampled it’s ok because he didn’t mean to have me killed.
he was just thinking with his heart and not with his head. Although I don’t
know how Hardee’s fits into this equation but I guess I’ll find out.

“You want a plain biscuit or something baby,” Justin asked as we walked
towards the counter. I entwined my fingers with his and looked up at the menu
to see what I could eat.

“Sweetie why are we at Hardee’s not that I don’t like it but um how does this
go with the balloon ride,” I asked and looked up in his bright eyes. He had a
big cheesy child like grin on. Like the one he had this morning when I woke

“I don’t know. I just wanted to stop for breakfast,” he said as he stepped up
to the counter to order. I watched as he asked the older woman for some
pancakes and shook my head. If he ever had to lie to save his life he would
die on the spot. “Camy what do you want,” he asked. I looked at him and shook
my head.

“Um I’ll have a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit hash rounds and a small
coffee,” I said to the lady. She nodded and started pressing buttons.

“Wow are you hungry today or you just making up for lost time,” I eyed Justin
from the corner of my eye.

“If you hadn’t been so sweet earlier this morning I would have thrown back a
really rude comment. But I’m better then that,” I said and flipped my hair
over my shoulder.

“Yeah right,” he said under his breath. I smiled and wrapped my arms around
his waist placing my head on his lean body. He smiled and wrapped his arm
around me. Kissing the top of my head. “But I love how rude you are to me,”
he said into my hair. I smiled.

“Really cause I can be rude all the time if you like it that much. I mean I
just got nasty comments stored away for a rainy day,” he squeezed my shoulder
as he passed the lady some money and picked up the tray with his hand.

“You know that’s quite alright. I think you can keep them to yourself,” I
smiled and we walked into the back and sat down in a booth. I reached over
and took my food and just started to chow down when the door opened and a
whole bunch of laughter came from the front. I looked up from my food and a
huge smile crossed my face when I saw Chris and Joey play fighting as they
walked in and JC and Lance laughing at them as they walked in. I swallowed my
food and looked at Justin. He pretended like he didn’t notice and continued
to chew. The door opened again and all my dancers filed in followed by Trisha
and Jackie. I smiled and looked at Justin.

“Justin,” I whispered as he cut his food.

“Huh,” he said and placed a piece of the pancake on his tongue.

“Did you set all this up,” I asked and shifted towards the edge of the booth.

“Yeah I guess I did,” he said. I laughed and popped up kissing his lips

“Thank you so much. I knew there was a reason why I loved you,” I said and
rubbed his face softly. He smiled and looked in my eyes.

“Yeah arranging to have your friends meet you at the local Hardee’s is the
most romantic thing I could have done,” he said. I kissed his lips this time
enjoying it much more.

“It is baby and I owe you,” he laughed and kissed me again.

“You better not be playing with me girl,” he whispered. I smiled and skipped
over to all my friends. Believe me I’m not!


I leaned against the mirror and watched as Cameron danced her little heart
out. She was going all out since she doesn’t know when the next time she’s
going to be able to dance is going to be. I looked at her little waist and
her exposed stomach. She worked hard to get those abs back and now they are
going to cut right through them. The doctor said that the scar will be bad at
first but when it finally heals. She’ll be fine and it’s nothing that plastic
surgery couldn’t fix if she wanted to do that. But that’s the last thing
anyone’s thinking about right now. I looked at her and she was so amazing.
She is the best dancer I have ever watched. And I’ve seen a lot of dancers
but she can do it all. There is nothing fake about her and she puts it all
out there every time no matter what. She looked at me and I could tell
something was wrong by the way her eyes were searching mine for something. I
pushed up a little bit and looked at her. She continued to dance but it
wasn’t the same.

“Cameron,” Rachel said. She shook her head and still danced. I looked up at
Rachel and if she was concerned then there was something. Rachel jogged over
to the stereo and turned off the music. Cameron fell down on the floor and
clawed at the ground. I ran to her side and picked her up.

“AHHHH,” she screamed. It rattled the wall. I rubbed her head and her back.

“Shh sweetie it’s ok,” I said and rocked her. She gripped on to my shirt and
she squeezed. “It’s almost over,” I said rocking her gently.

“OOOWWWEEEE,” she cried and pressed her face against my chest. I rubbed her
back and kissed the top of her head. I moved her and situated her on me
better. I looked up at her dancers and they had their hands over their mouths
and were comforting each other. I didn’t want to cry. I took a deep breath.

If you’re going to go in there you got to be strong for her

Dr. Appleton's voice kept on repeating in my head. I kissed the top of her
head and rubbed the sweat that was beading on her forehead.

“It hurts,” she said through clenched teeth. I rocked her and rubbed her back

“You remember this morning,” I said. She didn’t say anything ust gripped onto
my shirt. “You see the sun and the sky. And you feel the wind against your
face,” I said still rocking her softly.

“Yes,” she whispered. I smiled when she said something. I rubbed her head
“I’m right here,” I said. She took two deep breaths. “Camy,” I said concerned
about her drastic change in breathing.

“That was bad,” she said into my chest. I smiled and kissed her forehead and
fixed the elastic on her little pants.

“You ok,” I asked.

“Yeah. Just want to lay here,” she said. I smiled and nodded. I looked up at
Katie. She had her arms folded across her body and her hand was over her

“Katie,” I said. She looked at me with tears sitting in her eyes. “Can you
get me her jacket,” I asked. She nodded and walked away. “What happened,” I
asked. She released the grip on my shirt and I leaned back on my hand.

“It was like a giant cramp,” she said.

“From dancing,” I asked. She shook her head no. “Does this happen often,” I
asked. She shook her head no. “You think you can dance tomorrow,” I asked.

“Yeah and if this happens I’ll work through it. I can do that,” she said as
Katie handed me her jacket I draped it over her and she closed her eyes.

“You tiered,” I asked.

“Little bit but I want to finish this practice,” she said and looked up at
me. I smiled and leaned down pressing my lips against hers. She sat up and
sighed. I rubbed her bare waist. I leaned down and kissed her bellybutton
softly. She giggled. “You kiss my boo boo,” she asked. I nodded. She smiled
and leaned over near my ear. “You were right about the underwear,” she said.
I laughed as she stood up and walked away.

“Stop playing girl,” I said. She looked over her shoulder and winked at me. I
smiled. I took her jacket and walked back towards Rachel.

“What happened,” she asked.

“Cramp,” I said and dropped her jacket on the floor. “She’s fine. She just
had to wait it out,” I said. She nodded and walked over to the stereo. I sat
back down and looked at Cameron. She was reassuring her dancers and I sighed.
We can get through this, we will get through this.


I looked at the little tiny piece of nothing that she was going to wear
on the stage. I picked up the top and turned it around and looking at it from
different angles. It was nothing. It looked like bathing suit top but less
then that. It was light lavender color and had glitter and stuff on it. I
turned around and looked at it shaking my head. Cameron walked in the bedroom
and laughed.

“You want to see it on,” she asked and walked up beside me. I was actually
kind of interested on how it was going to look on. I nodded and picked up the
skirt and twisted it around trying to figure out how exactly it worked with
the pants. She laughed again. “The skirt is so short that I can wear the
pants and not have to worry about the pants,” she said.

“So why do you have the pants,” I asked. She smiled.

“Cause I’m going to sing the slower version of the song,” she said and gave
me a sneaky half smile and took the skirt from my hand and walked towards the
bathroom. “You mind if I borrow one of your baseball hats,” she asked from
behind the closed door. I walked in the bathroom and leaned on the wall
trying to figure out what I wasn’t piecing together. I know what the dance is
and how it goes together but I’m not understanding the costume.

“Sure,” I said quietly. “What are you wearing when you come out,” I asked.
She laughed.

“You might be my husband but there are still somethings I need to keep
secret,” she said. I shook my head as the door opened up. She pulled the
ponytail out her hair and her blond strands fell down around her face. I
swallowed hard looking at her. The skirt looked like if she bent over you
would see everything. it was that short. The top went around her neck and
pushed her up more then I liked. She looked amazing. “You like,” she asked
and turned around. I licked my lips and squinted my eyes.

“You,” my voice was in a pitch that was really high. I cleared my throat and
started again. “You are wearing that,” I asked. She smiled and nodded.

“Yeah. I think it’s going to be amazing,” she said and turned around again. I
chewed at my lip.

“Cameron that is a bit much don’t you think,” I asked. She laughed and looked
over her shoulder.

“Am I turning you own,” she asked grinning and looking sexier then she ever
had. I smiled. “That’s the point,” she said and smiled. Then ran into the
closet. I looked around and then followed her in the closet and closed the
door behind me.

Chapter 5

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